3 Difficult Conversations You Must Have Before Getting Married

Getting engaged is an awesome feeling that is rarely matched in life. Finally agreeing to tie the knot with the love of your life is an indescribable high; it feels like nothing will bring you down from this cloud you are sitting on. Looking forward to the future together feels like a blessing you will never stop being grateful for.

Nevertheless, marriage isn’t always cute and fun, and there are important conversations to be had. Some fiancés procrastinate these conversations or never have them at all, until the situation arises down the line and it is already too late. 

If you are getting ready to tie the knot, make sure you have these three difficult conversations first. Although it can be scary, you have to trust each other through the process – and it’s better to know the outcome of these conversations now, rather than later. 

Having Kids In The Future

You may have discussed this with your partner already, but before you were engaged to be married, all these conversations were pretty hypothetical. Now things are becoming set in stone, you need to check in with your fiancée about their ideal family situation. 

Do they want to have children? Are they serious about it? What is their desired timeline? Things don’t have to become detailed just yet, but it is important to discuss this to know you are both on the same page. You don’t want to get down the line and realize you’ve been miscommunicating the whole time.

The ‘What If?’ Conversation

Nobody wants to think about disastrous scenarios, especially during a happy time like an engagement.

However, when you are married, there are certain responsibilities that come with it – and these need to be discussed before you say ‘I do.’ For example, you must be clear with one another about subjects such as power of attorney if one of you becomes sick or incapacitated.

While this is not nice to think about, it is essential that you are aware of your responsibilities as the next of kin in this situation.

Financial Agreements

Marriage is about love, not money. Nevertheless, money plays a big role in your marriage, as technically, when you marry, you have access to each other’s assets to some degree.

Most modern couples sign a prenuptial agreement, or a “Pre-nup”.

This agreement essentially contractually confirms whose money belongs to whom, in the event of a divorce between you. Divorce is probably the last thing you want to think about when you are planning to marry, but with the number of divorces going up every year, it is very important to sign a prenuptial agreement. 

Similarly, you should discuss the assets you already have, and how you plan to share them or not. This includes businesses you own, and any properties or other investments you may have. 

Final Thoughts

If you are saying ‘I do’ sometime soon, it’s time to have these hard conversations sooner rather than later. Avoidance will get you nowhere; it’s time to be upfront!


Jeff Campbell

Jeff Campbell is a father, martial artist, budget-master, Disney-addict, musician, and recovering foodie having spent over 2 decades as a leader for Whole Foods Market. Click to learn more about me

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