It goes without saying that divorce can be a troubling and traumatic period for both parties. But the important aspect of the breakdown of any relationship must surely be looking to the future, not dwelling on the past. For a lot of newly single individuals, divorce can present an opportunity for their love lives to begin afresh, with many opting to join a dating service to search for new partners.
According to insights provided by experts from lustylocals matchmaking platform, so many newly divorced singles rely on online dating methods to meet someone new because with the evolution of technology social interactions have become available at the click of a button. Nowadays you can log into your dating platform of choice and start interacting with other site members from the comfort of home. The technology involved in digital matchmaking continues to provide innovations for modern singles but what happens when you come across someone you like and are unsure how they’ll react when you introduce them to your kid?
Here are five golden rules for dating after divorce.
Keep the situation natural
One thing you must never do is make your child feel as if they under some sort of pressure. So avoid making a big deal of the introduction – and certainly don’t impose any wishlist about how you would expect them to behave.
Try and present this as an informal get-together, where no one should have any preconceptions or expectations of how it will pan out. If your partner is on the same wavelength, they will approach this with the same spirit of openness and relaxation.
Take things easy
When you meet someone new and sense there may be chemistry there, resist the urge to introduce them to your kid as a matter of urgency. Everyone who has been through the rigors of a partnership derailing deserves a little ‘me time.’
Never feel obliged to have to rush into the next relationship until you feel the time is right. If you would rather allow some breathing space for becoming more familiar with your new partner, then do so. You have the whole of the rest of your life to look forward to making the most of this romance.
Avoid a spotlight
When it comes to arranging that all-important first encounter between your kid and their new potential ‘step-parent,’ avoid a situation where it’s only going to be the three of you alone together, almost as if this is a job interview! It would be preferable to arrange this meeting in more of a social setting. If it’s the summertime, an outdoor barbeque or perhaps a sports outing in a park would be ideal.
Your kid would benefit from interacting with your partner, rather than them both feeling obliged to make awkward small talk.
Assure your child of their position in your life
No matter how much of a sense of having developed a potent rapport with a potential love interest, your child will always be your priority. The good news is that your new partner should also be aware of this fact, so if they are worthwhile and seeking a meaningful relationship, they will never put undue pressure on you.
If your child’s other parent remains an integral part of their life, then reassure them that your new partner is never going to be a replacement. In adult relationships, all concerned, including the ex-partners, should be on speaking terms with everyone else.
It might be only natural for there to be friction between you and the divorced party, but this should never impact the relationship you both enjoy with your kid.
Look forward
Finding a new partner should represent a time to draw a line on past disappointments and anticipate a bright new future. It would be crucial to involve your kid in any planning, particularly if other kids and potential step-siblings are involved, or your new relationship involves moving home. Communication is key here – everything should be open to congenial discussion.