Getting a divorce is challenging enough in itself, but what makes it worse is when you’re divorcing a narcissist. There are many reasons why narcists can make divorce even more of a battle than it needs to be.
In this article, we will provide you with the need to know about the tactics that a narcist will use when you’re going through your divorce. Hopefully, the tips we provide will prove useful and help you avoid some extra complications.
Divorcing A Narcissist
Before you think about the games that a narcissist will play in finalizing your divorce, you must understand what a narcissist is, to begin with. A narcissistic personality disorder is when someone is really into themselves and have a falsified romantic vision of themselves.
Typically, the image that they’ve imagined about themselves in their heads masks deeper issues that the individual isn’t willing to deal with at that particular moment. A selfish individual is often so involved with themselves and upholding their fragmented ideas that they cannot often care about anyone else but themselves.
The other thing that is important to know about people with this disorder is that they don’t receive criticism well. When they feel that someone is attacking their behaviors or actions, they immediately go on the defensive and can become incredibly destructive.
A problem that arises from being around people that are narcissists is that they are unwilling to change anything about themselves. Because they don’t think that the things they are doing are a problem.
Again think about the fact that they aren’t honest with themselves. Making it hard for them to be able to deal with the realities of things that are going on.
Now that you understand a little bit more about the narcissistic disorder and how it works.
It can be easy to understand why being married to a narcissist can prove to be challenging.
Signs Someone Is A Narcissist
There are some signs that you’re dealing with a narcissist. One of the first signs that someone may be a narcissist is that they never understand when they’ve done something wrong. Because of their glorious idea of themselves, it makes them unwilling to notice or admit that their doing or have done anything wrong.
To a narcissist, everything that they do is the most important thing. They’ll always come before anyone and everyone else that’s in their lives. Another sign that someone is a narcissist is that they don’t operate in reality.
Simply put, they are delusion about the way things work in the real world. For example, if they get in trouble for committing a malicious crime, in their minds they are charming and witty enough to escape the consequences. Now we are all aware that in the real world, this notion is entirely wrong.
However, to the narcissist, they can get out of anything because of who they are. Another sign of narcissism is the need to be admired and praised at all times. Its almost as if they want to be worshipped by people at all times.
The way to be honored is by receiving praises and compliments about things that they’ve done.
The last sign that we want to point out is their need to humiliate others. Narcissists already view others as lower than them. Therefore, when someone does something that is proven to be embarrassing, the narcissist takes that moment to call them out.
Tips For Divorcing A Narcissist
Below your going to find 6 of the top things that we think you need to know before divorcing a narcissist. Understanding these need-to-know things will help you to be better prepared for the battle ahead.
1. It’s All A Game
Before you begin your divorce proceedings, you need to understand that a narcissist views this as a game. And because its a game and they’re driven to be the best at everything. They’re going to do whatever they can to win.
This means that they will do whatever they can to show themselves as the victim in front of the judge and your representation. For example, if you’re divorcing someone that’s been unfaithful in the past and this fact comes up during the divorce.
They’ll do everything they can to prove that their unfaithfulness was due to your neglect during the marriage.
2. There Is No Such Thing As Emotion
As stated before, a narcissist loses the ability to show empathy or any other emotion directed towards anyone that isn’t themselves. This means that even if you’re the person they’re married to, they won’t register any of the emotions you may be feeling as it pertains to your divorce.
Whereas, you may be able to deal with their lack of empathy towards you. Some other people that may be more hurt by the narcissists take no prisoner’s attitude.
Often a narcissist may go to great lengths to “win” during the divorce proceedings that include using your children to get what they want.
This may leave the children confused and broken when they are being forced to speak badly about one of their parents. The narcissist won’t see the way that they are hurting you or your children. They will only see the finish line and what they want to achieve.
This is when a forensic accountant divorce agent may prove to be useful if your spouse is trying to solidify assets unfairly.
3. They Feel Powerful
The narcissist thrives on being in power and the adrenaline rush that they achieve by harnessing that power. The thrill of having power also means that they will draw out the divorce process for as long as they feel like.
If something is feeding the way that they feel, they’ll continue to keep things going. Most people want to hurry up and get a divorce over with, but not a narcissist.
It’s all apart of the mind games that they play to paint themselves to be better than they actually are. For some reason knowing that you’re not done with them until they say you’re done makes them feel incredibly strong.
4. They Want You To Admit Defeat
When everything is said and done, the narcissist will want to leave you with absolutely nothing. Nothing to show for the time that you’ve all spent battling in court.
They’ll want to take absolutely everything away from you and leave you feeling obsolete. They leave you with nothing by dragging things on for so long that, in the end, you wave the white flag and let them take everything.
This may happen when you understand that it won’t end until they get everything they want and everything you have, regardless of whether they have a use for it.
5. Delay, Delay, Delay
If you’re taken to court by your narcissistic spouse, be prepared for delays that may come your way. This may mean that they file motions to push the hearings back for unforeseen emergencies.
When in actuality, there is no such emergency. They are just doing this because they know it will irritate you. Again dragging out the divorce proceedings until they finished with you.
When hearings are delayed, and other motions are filed, you’re being charged during this time. This means that they are hoping that you run out of resources and money to fight against them in court overtime.
Part of delaying court proceedings may mean that they refuse to attend any mediation meetings designed to help reach a settlement outside of court.
6. You’re The Bad Guy
Remember when we said the narcissist never sees anything wrong with the things that they do? This is also where that comes into play because if they aren’t in the wrong, that means you’re wrong.
If there are things in your past or things that you’ve done that you’re not proud of, you can bet that they will bring it up during court. They’ll use all of the ammunition that they can to show that you’re a terrible and undeserving person.
It is essential to be prepared for this because it can get ugly in the courtroom very quickly. And if you’re not ready, it can be challenging to deal with.
How To Take Care Of Yourself Emotionally During The Divorce
We’ve talked about how to deal with a narcissist in court. Now its time to talk about taking care of yourself during these divorce proceedings. The first thing that you need to do when processing what’s happening is being honest with yourself about the situation.
You must understand the behavior of a narcissist has nothing to do with you and that its all about them and the things that they want. We also recommend that during this time, you ensure that your support system is strong.
Your support system will be the people that you turn to during times when you’re ready to give up and throw in the towel. They’ll help you to keep your focus and remain firm in the things that you want and the boundaries that you’ve set during the divorce proceedings.
When divorcing a narcissist keep in mind everything that we’ve explained above and you’ll find that the proceedings aren’t as overwhelming as they could’ve been. We hope that this article is useful and if you want to read more content like it check out our website.