Things You Need to Know: Father’s Infidelity

Feminism aside, there are many statistics that show that husbands cheat more than wives.

There are women who forgive their husbands for the sake of the children. After all, everybody deserves a second chance as long as both are committed to making it work.

On the other hand, there are a lot of women who have reached their limit in terms of infidelity. As a matter of fact, around 20-40% of couples that go through the divorce process in the United States alone is due to cheating.

Most Common Reason Why Dad’s Cheat

Knowing the reason why a father commits infidelity while he already has a wife and a child, if not children, is important.  Although a reason may never justify the wrong act, it could definitely help both parties resolve the issue.

Infidelity is like a weed, which you need to find its roots to get rid of it.

1. Level of Maturity

Infidelity does not automatically mean that a person is bad.

Sometimes, it is just a matter of decisions. It just springs from little tempting situations and opportunities, and how one deals with them. Situations like that are where maturity plays an important role.

Unfortunately, age doesn’t always come with maturity.

2. Emotional Needs Unmet

Just like women, men also have emotional needs.

It is in a human being’s nature to look for something or someone who understands, supports and loves them. Emotional intimacy even just comes from small gestures. If a man couldn’t find it in his wife, he’ll likely be drawn to someone who does.

3. Physical Needs Unmet

Several studies have already established that physical intimacy is important in a married couple.

It takes some form of communication between a man and a woman to reach a certain level of understanding and bonding; physical intimacy is one of it.

4. Insecurity

Men value their pride. If they feel that they are neither needed nor valued by their wives, it sometimes drives them to look for someone who does.

Impact of Cheating Fathers to Children

Almost all countries in the world, except the Philippines, already legalized divorce.

But although the law recognizes the need for divorce, no one can deny its impact on the whole family. Most of the time, the children are the ones who are affected the most either emotionally, mentally, or physically.

Even simply knowing that their father cheated on their mother already impacts them in negative ways.

1. It drastically changes their perception of love and relationships.

Several studies conducted over the years showed that those who knew their father cheated on their mother find it hard to have long-lasting relationships with men.

The relationship between his or her parents toward each other is the basic foundation of a child’s definition of what an ideal relationship is. The crumbling of it alienates the child in relationships.

2. It triggers trust issues towards others.

When a parent cheats, it is not only the trust of the other partner that he or she is breaking but also their children’s.

As a result, a child tends to hesitate in entrusting his or her heart and life to other people again. They are afraid of commitment, which in their experience is something that can easily be broken.

They also fear that they will be abandoned and rejected just like what their fathers did.

3. It makes them feel ashamed of themselves.

Although they are not the reason why their father became unfaithful, they tend to feel ashamed about that aspect of their lives.

They feel tainted by the fact that their mother, together with them, is not enough for their father. Although this is not the case all the time, children even rebel at some point of their lives upon knowing about their father’s infidelity.

If you can give advice to those children who experience this, what will it be?


Jeff Campbell

Jeff Campbell is a husband, father, martial artist, budget-master, Disney-addict, musician, and recovering foodie having spent over 2 decades as a leader for Whole Foods Market. Click to learn more about me

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