Every marriage will have it ups and downs; this much everybody knows. But what happens if fertility problems start to get in the way of your relationship?
Fertility problems in relationships and marriages are much more common than you might think. In the UK, NHS statistics indicate that one in seven couples have difficulties conceiving.
Of course, some couples naturally find it easier to conceive than others. But if you and your partner have been trying to get pregnant for a significant amount of time without success, this may indicate that one (or both) of you has a fertility problem. Whether it be continued miscarriages, trouble conceiving, or even having to claim compensation for stillbirth, advances in medical care, like IVF, can help.
In this post, we’ll be taking a closer look at why fertility problems can have a devastating effect on relationships. Importantly, we’ll help you to recognise how you can prevent them from causing you and your partner to drift apart. Take a look…
How Can Fertility Problems Affect Your Relationship?
Disagreements Over the Right Course of Action
When you and your partner learn that you have fertility problems, your doctor will likely offer up a number of different options that you can explore.
These options vary in cost, the chances of success, and the physical toll it can take on both you and your partner. This is why choosing the right course of action can often lead to disagreements and arguments.
Fears That the Other Partner Will Leave
Suffering from a fertility problem is completely out of someone’s control and, if you’re in a loving marriage, there is no reason why it would result in your partner leaving.
That being said, many people incorrectly feel as though they have let their partner down and their inability to easily conceive will somehow lead to their partner leaving them.
Money problems can put a strain on any marriage and, as infertility can often prove to be expensive, tension over finances is common.
The most expensive options for fertility treatment – such as IVF – can place long-term financial burdens on couples, which can lead to years of debt. So, couples may be faced with the choice of delving deep into their pockets to improve their chances of conceiving or accepting that they’re not in the right financial position to go down this path.
What Steps Can You Take to Avoid Fertility Problems from Ruining Your Marriage?
Never Stop Communicating
Communication is everything when it comes to fertility issues. If you and your spouse are affected, you both need to make sure that your thoughts and feelings are clearly communicated so you’re both on the same page about what your next steps should be.
It’s important not to bury the issue, or pretend that it doesn’t exist, as this is only likely to cause further issues in your relationship. Be open, be honest and don’t hesitate to share your fears.
Find Other Ways to Connect With One Another
Fertility problems can be understandably overwhelming, but you shouldn’t let them take over your life. If you’re going through the arduous process of fertility testing and treatment, then you and your partner should always try to find other ways to connect with one another, so it doesn’t completely take over your life.
You might want to consider picking up a new shared hobby or activity, or even spend time doing something as simple as going out for long walks so you can both reconnect with nature.
Reach Out to Loved Ones for Support
Your loved ones are there for a reason. While the prospect of sharing intimate details about your relationship might seem initially difficult, a problem shared is a problem halved.
You don’t have to tell the world, but it is certainly worth sharing the fact that that you are having fertility problems with your closest loved ones. They can be there as pillars of support for you both during the darker days. This will ultimately help to keep your relationship strong in the long run.
Create a Clear Plan for the Future
Once you have received the news that you have fertility problems, it’s important to sit down and create a practical plan of action. Prior research has found that putting together a plan helps to improve marital satisfaction, especially during times of heightened emotion.
You don’t have to create rigid plans that you’re both going to stick to no matter what. Rather, you can set up a flexible plan that allows for changes of circumstances and unexpected occurrences, so you can both be ready for anything.
Speak to a Counsellor
Contrary to widely held beliefs, speaking to a relationship counsellor isn’t an admission of your relationship failing. Rather, it provides an opportunity for both you and your partner to speak to a neutral-third party who can talk through any improvements you’d like to make to your marriage.
You can choose to attend counselling as an individual or as a couple – whichever you think would be more beneficial to your relationship as a whole!
Are You and Your Partner Experiencing Fertility Problems?
In this post, we’ve taken a closer look at how a marriage might become strained as a result of fertility problems. We’ve also provided some of the steps you and your partner can take to prevent your relationship from breaking down.
Fertility problems can be difficult to overcome but, as you may be able to tell, they aren’t insurmountable. With the right amount of communication and planning, you and your partner will be able to come out the other side with an even stronger relationship to show for it.
Have you got any more questions related to fertility problems and relationships? Feel free to leave a comment below!