When you’ve just lost a spouse or come out of a failed marriage, getting back on the dating scene can seem scary. With kids, it starts to feel downright impossible.
Having interacted with many single dads in their 40s, believe it when we say you will need all the help you can get.
If you’re busy with work and the kids, want a partner from out of town or just prefer to skip the hassle of traditional dating, you can try buying a wife online. Yes! You can easily find a wife online with little cost implications. Some sites can help you meet mail order wives who take the concept of “family” pretty seriously.
There, you get to chat with these ladies, set up a first date and eventually form bonds that may lead to marriage.
However, if you prefer old-fashioned local dating, then here’s what you need to know. With pop culture and technological advancements, the dating scene has most likely changed since you were last active. This will be even more evident if you’re looking to date women in their mid 20s. However you choose to play it, we’re here to help you get with the times and meet her more than once.
The following tips will help you walk the tightrope of going on a first date as a single dad.
1. There’s no need to rush
As a single parent, the urge to get with a partner can be overwhelming.
With pressure from friends, social media and sometimes your own kids, you may feel you need a woman as soon as yesterday. While there’s no wrong time to get back on the horse, we advise you do it at your own time. You alone know when you feel ready to date again, so take your time.
Remember that your kids are involved in this. Whoever you’re bringing into the fold, when you do, it will affect them somehow. Your kids look up to you to take charge of your life and theirs, and you should do that.
2. Look the part
We know you’ve got a lot on your plate.
The kids have been fighting, work has been hectic and your favorite football team hasn’t exactly impressed lately, but she doesn’t need to know all these details at first glance. Put in the effort to look good and she’ll appreciate it. Dressing well gives you a confident vibe and makes her more receptive to your advances from the start.
If you ask us, we suggest you take a shower, wear some cologne and dress in a smart shirt and neat pants. First impressions stick!
3. Don’t make it all about you
Now that you’ve decided to get back to dating, what next?
When you’re meeting a woman for the first time, remember it’s every bit as important to her as it is to you. We recommend you view it as a merger of two worlds – yours and hers. This way, she’ll likely feel comfortable with you, especially if you’re older than she is.
When setting up the date, ensure you pick someplace you both like. If you’re unsure, feel free to ask her about her preferences. You’re both adults and know what you want. Your first date will start off greatly if she feels at home with the environment.
4. Be genuinely interested in what she has to say
People love to talk about themselves.
Giving her enough time to talk about herself and asking questions based on what she’s shared will work in your favor. A genuine interest in her will help you decide if she’s the best fit for you and your kids. You can pick up important hints by just listening and observing.
On the other hand, paying attention to her will make her feel she’s getting together with a man who’s genuinely interested in her.
5. Keep the past in the past
While on your first date, avoid the pitfall of rambling about your ex. There’s not much worse you can do, really. Even if your previous marriage ended badly, bad-mouthing your ex won’t earn you brownie points with the new lady. Whether in a positive or negative light, sharing too much about your ex or your past relationship on the first date sends all the wrong signals. At best, she’ll feel that you’ve not moved on and at worst, you’d come across as bitter. Focus on why you’re there and make the conversation about both of you instead.
6. Chivalry still exists
While women today won’t exactly fall into your arms just because you opened the car door for her, it’s still great to have manners.
Pulling the chair out for her to sit and being nice to your Uber driver will give her the impression that you’re generally a nice person – which we encourage you to be. Also, there’s a great chance that, knowing you have kids, she already expects some level of responsibility from you. So don’t let her down.
7. Don’t make your kids the center of the date
Just like rambling about your ex, you don’t want to spend the entire day talking about your kids either.
Don’t get us wrong, your date should definitely know that you have kids. However, unless she keeps asking, a couple of sentences about them is all she really needs to hear. You should have a life outside your kids and we bet she’ll be interested in knowing who you are when you’re not being a father.
8. End the day memorably
After you’ve spent time together on the first date, a great way to set up the next meeting is to call her before going to bed.
Let her know you had a wonderful time and ask her what the highlight of her evening was. A lighthearted phone conversation will keep you in mind longer. Yes, we know that texting is all the rave nowadays, but trust us when we say you’re better off making that call.
Final words
Setting up a first date as a single dad isn’t as difficult as it seems.
As long as you show genuine interest and treat her with respect, it’ll be fun – which is something your kids want you to have! Don’t hesitate to use our tips while on that first date and we’re confident that with your charm, you’ll make a lasting impression on her.