How to Keep a Relationship Alive After Kids: Advice for Parents


Struggling with how to keep a relationship alive after having kids? You’re not alone. Considering that one in nine new mothers suffers from postpartum depression after giving birth, this is a very common and completely normal issue.

We understand that life in the months after having kids can be all over the place. But it is important not to forget about your relationship.

Want to inject romance back into your relationship but not sure where to start? We’ve got you covered.

From the importance of date nights to why you should try weekly admin meetings, here are some tips for how to keep the romance alive in a relationship after having kids.

Organize Regular Date Nights

Though you may not be able to go out as often as you did before having children, that doesn’t have to mean you forget about date nights completely! Whether you manage once a week or once a month, any time at all will help your relationship thrive again.

Date nights don’t always have to be expensive. In fact, they don’t even need to involve going out. After the kids are asleep, try cooking a meal together, giving each other massages, or even just playing a board game with a bottle of wine.

Schedule Sex

When you are tired and looking after young children every day, sex is often the last thing on your mind. Though scheduling sex may not seem like the most romantic thing, for new parents it can be a helpful reminder to be more intimate.

If you are wondering how to keep sex alive in a relationship, a good place to start is by trying out some sex toys together. Try out a mixture of specific use toys like clitoral vibrators, as well as general couple-specific toys like remote-controlled vibrators and strap-on harness kits to see what works best for you.

Make Time for Yourself, Too

The key to a happy and healthy relationship is feeling happy in yourself. If you feel like you need some time for yourself to relax and recharge, ask your partner to take over for a few hours.

It’s up to you whether you use this time to catch up on your favorite Netflix series or to get out and meet some friends. By giving each other time off every now and again, you can avoid the petty arguments that stem from exhaustion.

Have Weekly Relationship Admin Meetings

One of the most important steps in how to keep a relationship alive when living together with kids is to keep on top of any relationship “admin.” By limiting these essential conversations to once a week, you can stop them from taking over everyday discussions, and reduce any underlying stress or tension.

Use your allotted time to discuss things like the upcoming week’s important events or appointments, any financial issues, or any personal problems you may be encountering. Once the meeting ends, go back to more fun and interesting conversations.

Know How to Keep a Relationship Alive

Above all, the most important thing when figuring out how to keep a relationship alive is to take things at your own pace. Don’t put any pressure on yourself or your partner to rush back to how life used to be. 

Having a child requires us to reinvent ourselves and our relationships. This is an exciting time of growth for both of you.

If you enjoyed this article, be sure to check out our other helpful parenting guides today!

Jeff Campbell

Jeff Campbell is a husband, father, martial artist, budget-master, Disney-addict, musician, and recovering foodie having spent over 2 decades as a leader for Whole Foods Market. Click to learn more about me

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