Life After Divorce: How to Pull Yourself Together and Move On


No relationship is perfect. In fact, between forty to fifty percent of married couples in the United States end up divorcing. It’s a reminder we’re all human and sometimes grow apart for reasons out of our control.

Divorce could stem from a single event or years of anguish that lead to no longer sharing mutual interests. It takes two people to fulfill a happy, meaningful relationship. Marriage creates a unity, but it doesn’t always last forever.

Life after divorce can seem meaningless, especially if you didn’t initiate it. However, life doesn’t stop there. You can pull yourself together and move on.

Learn to Accept Your Feelings

The healthiest way to begin life after divorce is accepting the circumstances at your own pace. You’re entitled to feel emotions such as anger, remorse, or sadness. These natural reactions don’t make you a weak person.

Even if you did everything right in your marriage remember it no longer applies to the future. Retracing the events in your head trying to justify why it wasn’t your fault provides no longterm remedy. Don’t let feelings of guilt from past mistakes either dictate how you can improve your character moving forward.

Rather than dwell, use this time to gradually accept it and know this won’t be overnight. While your previous marriage may no longer exist let it provide gratefulness for the parts of life you still have such as your health, job, or other family.

Delegate Communication

A relationship’s ending may cause a compulsive reaction to cut this person off permanently. This may be by blocking phone numbers or unfollowing social media accounts. While ceasing communication helps with moving on, don’t make yourself inaccessible.

Unlike ending a casual dating relationship, divorcing someone is a legal process and can take several months. If you have children or financial situations this will need to be properly sorted out. An experienced divorce lawyer can help represent you and advocate for your rights and future.

Stay Active

Starting over after divorce can seem like a long, grueling process. Keeping yourself occupied helps with mental and physical health. Don’t view this as forcing yourself to meet someone new or start dating.

Join a new or different gym. Find a hobby on the weekends. Take that trip you’ve been always thinking about, but didn’t have the time to do before.

No one says you should have to convince yourself to view divorce as a positive thing, but there are still ways to find happiness. Know there are many other people in your shoes. Sometimes just talking to a close, trusted friend or family member can help keep your thoughts and actions sorted.

Coping With Life After Divorce

There’s no one-size-fits-all method on how to move on after divorce. Marriages end for different reasons. Some couples separate post-honeymoon phase while others may divorce after several decades.

The sooner you start focusing on maintaining positivity within yourself, the easier it will be to move on. Don’t compare yourself to your former spouse or view it as a competition. Your life after divorce should be led on your own terms.

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Jeff Campbell

Jeff Campbell is a husband, father, martial artist, budget-master, Disney-addict, musician, and recovering foodie having spent over 2 decades as a leader for Whole Foods Market. Click to learn more about me

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