Relationships take a lot of work.
Everyone and anyone that’s been in one knows that there is a constantly evolving give-and-take, especially when you add a family and kids into the mix.
There’s a ton of pressure for couples and parents alike, from time, energy, and finances, that making things work can be challenging and seem overwhelming at times.
Often children can bring a ton of joy, and experienced parents understand that kids can provide a new form of stress both on the individuals involved and their relationships. Parents have a hard time balancing the needs of their children with their own needs and that of their partners.
Actions can seem selfish, and those actions can create hostility and animosity between partners over time.
Once these breakdowns and stresses occur in a relationship, they can exact a hard toll on everyone.
The key then is to create enough understanding between both partners about their needs and desires to find common ground to make the necessary compromises work out for everyone involved.
Compromise doesn’t mean having to give up something totally unless it’s an unhealthy habit, but that’s for a discussion some other time.
Instead, a compromise requires a mutually agreed negotiation to give a little up to get a little in return.
For example, if you’re a big sports fan, you try to catch every game and enjoy playing in fantasy leagues. Still, your partner always asks for help with the household chores and kids. So finding ways to enjoy the games, play in your fantasy leagues, and be present for the family can be challenging.
Instead of plopping down in front of the TV for hours with your phone or laptop nearby, finding an agreement that will allow you ways to catch some of the action while also being more available to assist with things around the house that may conflict with the game is a good negotiation to have.
You could consider playing in fewer fantasy leagues for a season. If you play in multiple leagues and daily contests, finding an NFL optimizer tool can assist you to be more informed while also more efficient in your decision-making.
Tools that do much of the data analysis and inform you about potential match-ups to exploit are great ways to stay involved in your hobby without taking too much time away from family.
Compromise, in this instance, is giving up some of the personal sense of self and the pastimes you enjoy to be more involved and present with the family.
Playing in fewer leagues or limiting the total number of sports you play in are reasonable compromises to consider, especially if there is some honest communication between you and your partner (more on that later).
The key is to ensure that you don’t give up too much of yourself to prevent animosity from creeping in and adding additional challenges to the relationship.
Maintaining a healthy balance of family, partner, and self-interests doesn’t need to be at odds, to put it in different terms. Understanding the ebb and flow of maintaining a proper sense of self and that of the needs of others in your life is healthy.
And the balance of self-interest with giving to others’ needs and desires is built on a foundation of honest communication. Honest communication about your interests, wants, and needs can’t be a one-way conversation.
It needs to be paired with clear listening and without judgment.
Again, with the example of fantasy football, you may think it’s a great hobby and diversion, but your partner may see it as a waste of time and possibly money. Without honest communication and listening to what is being said without judgment, the relationship can’t find the middle ground to compromise successfully.
Talking about sex is another excellent example of honest communication. When you have an imbalance in desire, finding an open place to discuss the inequality without judging the other person’s position is crucial.
This imbalance is especially true for parents who are often overstressed with demands on energy, time, and other things.
Additionally, you both may have different levels of desire in sex for multiple reasons, but being open to other forms of intimacy. These can include various forms of physical intimacy, such as hugging and kissing. Learning to understand your partner’s desires and perspective is built on a foundation of honest communication.
The key to maintaining a healthy relationship is working on the things that stress you before they become too large. There needs to be compromise in every situation, built upon honest communication and without judgment.
Even the best relationships have issues from time to time. The key is to find a happy middle ground that benefits each member without sacrificing too much by any one partner.