5 Reasons Marriage Is Better The Second Time Around


Marriage is seen as the ultimate commitment between a couple in love.

They tie the knot in a respectful ceremony in front of a gathering of family and friends, solemnly swearing to be there for one another, until ‘death do us part.’

Unfortunately, reality has a habit of getting in the way of even the most idyllic scenario. In fact, between 40-50% of those partners who blissfully exchange vows and assume they’ll be wed for life, end up getting divorced.

However, a marriage split should never be seen as an indicator you’ve had your shot at happiness and will now be condemned to be forever single.

Quite the reverse.

Some people see divorce as a huge opportunity to live life to the full. They might join a fun dating site. They can seek out fellow divorcees. And when they do get into the position of tying the knot again, they’ll be in a far better position to avoid making mistakes.

Here are five reasons why a second marriage is better.

You’re far more likely to be honest

When it comes to relationships, courting couples can be cagey.

There might be a degree of reluctance about revealing too much about themselves to a potential partner straight away. There might even be mind games at play.

Second time around, the individuals concerned are much more likely to have gone beyond that immature stage and much prefer adopting honesty and openness as their default position.

If they’ve been through traumatic relationships they’ll now much less likely to have the time or patience for anyone creating misleading impressions. They’ll be approaching their second marriage from an optimistic point of view, wishing to make a fresh start.

Maturity has made you a better person

There is an old adage about people growing older and wiser.

This is so true when it comes to those who have been through an unsuccessful first marriage. The experience will have allowed them to develop as a person, honing their character towards someone who will be trustworthy and mature about the decisions they have to make in the future.

You know you’ll have to accept your spouse as they are

First time around, people are sometimes still searching for perfection.

They will have an image in their minds of what wedded bliss will be like and how their ideal partner will behave. Second time around, they are much less likely to rely on preconceptions.

Having developed a sense of responsibility, they will be prepared to accept their spouse for what they are, excepting their flaws as examples of a rounded three-dimensional person rather than focusing on superficial attributes

You’ll be able to recognize cracks … and fix them

If you have been through a marriage which came apart, either during various explosive incidents or over a gradual period of unraveling, you will be able to recognize the signs.

You will, therefore, be in a much better position to confront situations before they drag on, making sure issues are dealt with by means of open communication.

Second time around, you will be confident about broaching problems, rather than burying your head in the sand.

Imperfections are there to be embraced, not shunned

Nobody is perfect.

One of the positive attributes of people who are entering their second marriage is they are prepared to accept any imperfections there may be in their partner, rather than hoping they might be able to mold that person.

By all means, try to influence someone’s behavior, but never give the impression you are stifling them. Second marriages are all about acceptance.

Jeff Campbell

Jeff Campbell is a husband, father, martial artist, budget-master, Disney-addict, musician, and recovering foodie having spent over 2 decades as a leader for Whole Foods Market. Click to learn more about me

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