Wondering about the signs your wife wants a divorce?
I think you’ll agree with me that there’s nothing scarier than thinking you’re about to get divorced.
As guys, we work hard to build a family, forge a career and provide for our everyone. Sometimes in focusing on those big pictures, we can lose sight of what’s important.
There is light at the end of the tunnel though!
You don’t have to accept defeat and the breakup of your marriage and possibly the loss of your family. If your marriage is rocky and you’re thinking your wife is about to ask for a divorce, then this post is for you.
I’ll explain the signs your wife wants a divorce. But more importantly, I’ll show you how to stop it so you can begin fixing your marriage.
These signs your wife wants to leave you CAN be fixed.
So, let’s dive into the…
15 Proven Signs Your Wife Wants A Divorce
Sign #1 – Constant Arguing
Yes, it’s no secret that constant arguing with your wife is a bad sign.
It’s a definite indication that your marriage needs help. In fact, it can definitely be one of the Top Reasons for Divorce.
Now, don’t panic here just because you and your wife are fighting a few times a week. That’s not necessarily one of the signs your wife wants to leave you.
Every married couple has disagreements from time to time. In fact, it’s actually a healthy thing to argue now and then as long as they get resolved and don’t build resentment.
When those arguments happen daily, that’s when it’s important to pay attention.
For example, if coming home 5 minutes late turns into a huge yelling match, that’s a problem.
These kinds of arguments, if they happen often, can definitely be signs your wife wants a divorce. And it’s an indicator that your marriage is headed in the wrong direction.
Most of the time, couples who argue too often but have otherwise healthy marriages can fix this problem fairly easily.
In basic terms, if you and your wife fight too much or argue often over little issues, then its crucial to learn how to argue less frequently and more constructively.
Watch this Excellent Free Video with tips on how to argue more effectively (and much more — it’s well worth watching).
Another more serious indicator of an unhealthy marriage is when one or both of you stops trying to resolve conflict at all.
Which leads me to another of the signs your wife wants to leave you….
Sign #2 – Giving up instead of resolving conflicts
If your wife doesn’t even care enough to argue anymore or is apathetic about everything, then that can be a clear indication of a potentially big problem.
When this kind of negativity sets in, your wife may disconnect emotionally. You will begin to wonder if there will ever be a way for the two of you to fix things.
Obviously, that’s not a good thing. So if you’re seeing this as one of the signs your wife wants a divorce the time to act is now.
Marriage counseling can be a great thing. But it’s not for everyone.
Wondering if Marriage Counseling Can Help? I highly recommend taking a moment to check out one of my most shared posts on that topic.
Sign #3 – You have neglected her for a long time
We all make mistakes.
But the trick with mistakes is to recognize them, take responsibility for them, learn from them AND not repeat them.
However, if you have repeatedly neglected your wife, cheated on her, or otherwise made her feel like she doesn’t matter to you (over a long period of time), that could easily lead to some of the other signs your wife wants a divorce.
So if you have been a bad husband, take ownership of it!
Acknowledge it, but more importantly, change your behavior so she sees (not just hears) that you’re getting better.
Your wife doesn’t expect you to be perfect, but she shouldn’t feel like she’s last on your list of priorities either.
Sign #4 – Showing little or no affection or emotion
Along with giving up on fighting back, one of the other signs your wife wants a divorce is a general lack of affection or emotion towards you.
There’s no hand-holding, no kisses and no “I love you’s” throughout the day or before bed.
In my experience, this is one of the most obvious of the 15 signs your marriage will end in divorce.
Usually, though, it’s more of a symptom than the problem itself.
But resolving the core problems in your marriage can definitely help re-build an emotional connection. When that happens, that’s when the affection returns.
If you’re seeing this symptom as well as some of the other signs your wife wants a divorce, start taking action now.
Watch this video right now to learn about 3 techniques that will help you repair your relationship (even if your wife isn’t interested at the moment).
Sign #5 – She constantly criticizes you
If everything that comes out of your mouth immediately results in backhanded comments, jabs and other critical comments, that could be one of the signs your wife wants to leave you.
In fact, criticism is one of Gottman’s Four Horsemen; things renowned marriage expert Dr. John Gottman says are the top predictors of divorce.
Playful comments that tease are one thing, but if every comment is meant to criticize or belittle you, she’s clearly holding on to a lot of anger and resentment. If you want to save your marriage:
- Resist the urge to just “give it back to her”
- Recognize that she’s in pain, and however inappropriate her means of delivery, she needs to feel heard
- Look her in the eyes and say, “it sounds like you have some anger or resentment towards me. I’d love to sit down and hear it directly so I can work on fixing it.”
Sign #6 – You know in your gut
When we tune into our intuition, we can often hear what is really going on.
You can feel the tension in a room when you’re both there. Maybe she avoids eye contact. Or perhaps she communicates the minimum required info and then leaves the room.
If your gut is telling you something is off, while it may not be one of the signs your wife wants to leave you, it IS an indicator something is wrong. But like all issues, don’t dwell on the problem or symptoms and don’t play the blame game.
Focus your energy on fixing it!
Sign #7 – A non-existent sex life
A lack of sex can be a symptom of other problems in your marriage, but it also shows up as one of the signs your wife wants to leave you.
If you’re always arguing and there’s no emotional connection, your sex life is likely going to grind to a halt.
But a low sex drive can sometimes have it’s root in many different issues too.
- After a baby
- Men’s testosterone getting lower due to age or health
Either way, a sexless marriage is not likely to make it.
So if your wife is uninterested in sex or makes excuses, that’s certainly one of the 15 signs your marriage will end in divorce.
Sign #8 – Your wife spends more time away from home or is focused on other things
If your wife is always out with her family or friends and spending significantly less time with you, that is an indication of a problem.
It may be that they are unhappy with your current situation and just need a break from the tension. But it may also be that they’re starting to prepare mentally for life apart from you.
Hopefully, that’s not the case, but it can definitely be one of the signs your wife wants a divorce.
Simply put, if she’s spending less time with you than she has in the past, that can be one of the signs your wife wants to leave you.
If you’re seeing this symptom or any of the other signs your wife wants a divorce, start taking action now.
Watch this video right now to learn about 3 techniques that can help you save your marriage (even if your wife isn’t interested at the moment).
Sign #9 – She’s always on her phone
Constantly being on her phone could mean one of 2 things:
- She’s just using it as a distraction (from you and your problems)
- She’s engaging in an emotional affair (or maybe even physical affair)
In either situation, it’s not great. After all, your problems don’t fix themselves by ignoring them.
But technology has made affairs all the easier to have.
It’s easier than ever to use various apps to find someone to cheat with and to communicate with them. Even if it’s just confiding in a male work associate, when we let ourselves become emotionally vulnerable to someone and complain about our spouse to them, the door to infidelity can be easily opened.
If she routinely leaves her phone lying around then it’s probably not an affair.
However, if she guards it and her various email and social media accounts like a hawk, that could be a sign of an affair and certainly one of the signs your wife wants a divorce.
If you suspect an affair or if it’s already been exposed, that doesn’t have to lead to divorce. My post on how to Save a Marriage After Infidelity walks you through the very same steps I took after I cheated on my wife in 2013.
Our marriage is better than ever now and yours can be too.
Sign #10 – You have seen “divorce” topics in the search history on your computer
While not all searches are done on the home computer, in-depth research is often easier and faster off of a mobile device.
Therefore if you have a home computer that is shared, while I do not recommend snooping into her personal accounts or getting paranoid, it’s easy to look at browser search history.
If you see any topics relating to divorce or lawyers, that’s clearly one biggies of the signs your wife wants a divorce.
Don’t use it as an opportunity to confront her about it.
If you want to save your marriage, use it as an opportunity to calmly address the issues and let her know you’re willing to do whatever it takes to fix them.
Sign #11 – There’s no communication
This is easy to spot, especially if your wife is always on her phone.
She’s constantly texting people and you are never one of them. No messages throughout the day. No checking in.
People, but especially women, need a connection. They need to feel that spark from another.
If it’s not you meeting that need, then who IS meeting it?
Are you seeing this symptom of the other signs your wife wants a divorce? Start taking action now!
Watch this video right now to learn about 3 techniques that can help you fix your relationship (even if your wife isn’t interested at the moment).
Sign #12 – You don’t eat at least 1 meal together each day
If you and your wife are always on the go to separate places that’s not a good sign.
If you routinely make plans after work with your buddies and/or your wife does the same and there’s no consideration for what the other is doing, you’re going down a bad path.
It IS important that couples have interests outside one another and spend SOME time apart.
But when your wife spends all or most of her time apart, that’s clearly one of the signs your wife wants a divorce.
Sign #13 – There’s no “I Love You”
Telling each other “I love you” throughout the day and week is normal, healthy behavior.
If you and your wife never or rarely do that, that’s not a good sign.
Even worse is when you say it to her and she doesn’t say it back. If that’s what you’re seeing, thats definitely one of the signs your wife wants to leave you. Now is the time to fix things before it’s too late.
Sign #14 – Being vague or non-committal about future plans
If you’re discussing vacation plans or possibly moving for a career opportunity, that should be an exciting conversation!
But if your wife is vague, non-committal or disinterested that’s a really bad sign.
I once had the chance to work in NYC. I had an upcoming interview with a former boss who loved my work. I knew it was likely I would get the offer, but I didn’t want to apply without my (then) fiancee’s approval.
When we discussed, I heard a lot of vagueness, hesitation, and excuses why she thought I wouldn’t get the job. But in the end, she did loosely commit.
After I got the job offer, she changed her tune and refused to move with me. I turned the job down (twice because they upped the original offer) only to find out a month later she was cheating on me.
She eventually left me for that guy.
Sign #15 – A recent and dramatic change in her appearance
If your wife has recently started working out, wearing more makeup, buying sexier clothes or otherwise made a noticeable change in how she looks, that could be one of the signs your wife wants to leave you.
After all, if your marriage isn’t good, then these changes obviously aren’t for you.
While the changes could just be to help her feel better about herself (not a bad thing), they could also be for someone else or to attract someone else.
The last thing you want to do, however, is to criticize her for the change.
But you also don’t want to make her think she wasn’t attractive before, so don’t go overboard with compliments.
Make a point of complimenting her. But not always just about how she looks physically. Women like compliments, but they also like being recognized for things other than physical attributes.
Focus on telling her what you love about her as a person and then sprinkle in the occasional compliment about her appearance.
Recognize any of these signs your wife wants to leave you?
Here’s what to do next.
First, let’s make one thing clear: just because you’re seeing a couple of the signs your wife wants a divorce doesn’t mean that she’s definitely planning to file for divorce.
It may just be that these are indicators of trouble ahead in your marriage.
Marriage counseling is a great place to start.
A good marriage counselor can help the two of you mend your communication, release the anger and resentment you’ve been holding on to and put you back on the right path.
But anything that gets the two of you acknowledging and talking about the problem in a non-threatening or accusatory way is a good thing.
Can’t afford marriage counseling?
I can tell you one thing; it’s cheaper and easier than divorce! (been there, done that).
But I also get being on a tight budget. Minimally, I would get the book that helped save my wife and I’s marriage (given to us by our marriage counselor). It’s called the Seven Principals for Making Marriage Work by Dr. John Gottman I referenced above.
In my link, I have an in-depth review of the book and how it helped save my marriage. I know it can help with yours too!
Have you seen any of these signs your wife wants a divorce?
Are you feeling that things aren’t on track with your marriage?
If so, I encourage you to act to turn things around now before matters get any worse.
In this post, we looked at the signs your wife wants to leave you. We talked about each of them, how to recognize them, what the symptoms are and what they can mean.
More importantly, though, we talked about simple steps you can take to work through the challenges.
I know. My wife and I were actively discussing divorce in 2013. But by late 2017, we had our 3rd child and our marriage was (and still is) better than ever!
If your marriage is struggling with the possibility of divorce, then check out this quick video on how to Mend Your Marriage that will help get yours back on track.