How You Can Use Valentine’s Day To Improve Your Relationship.


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A box of chocolates, a dinner, a bouquet of flowers, the typical Valentine’s gifts are not bad, but many other options will help you go one step further and surprise them next year with a different gift. Do you dare to do something a little riskier? Maybe sort through the problems you are heaving and look at overcoming the obstacles that are weakening your relationship? Really, isn’t that what Valentine’s Day is really all about?

Finding the truth of love and celebrating that?

There are many meanings associated with the day, and not just relationships but friendships too; however, it’s important to remember that we are celebrating the good. 

The history of the day itself

The story of Valentine’s Day goes back to ancient Rome.

Specifically in the 3rd century, when a priest decided to marry those boyfriends who were forbidden to do so (isn’t that nice?).

At this time, single soldiers were considered to perform better on the battlefield because they had no distractions or concerns typical of love in their heads and, therefore, were prohibited from marrying. Valentine, who was the priest’s name, refused to let them renounce their love: he protected and married them in secret, so Claudius III, emperor of Rome at that time, ordered his arrest and subsequent execution.

During his stay in prison, he fell in love with the jailer’s daughter, Julia, to whom he sent a love letter before being executed.

What Day? Day February 14.

Since then, the letters and the date could not have better correspondence. A story with enough ingredients to go down in history and that every February 14 we remember that, above all the chocolates, flowers, romantic dinners, and giant stuffed hearts, the only thing that remains is love.

Love is the most important thing and should be honored.

Can Valentine’s Day improve my relationship?

Many relationship problems are based on the attitude that you can’t learn anything new from each other because you already know everything.

However, for a good relationship, you have to stay active and keep learning more because there is always something else to learn. It’s good to invest in the partnership. You may both get annoyed that the other does not react as you would have thought or found no consensus because both have already found an assessment or a decision on a topic for themselves.

In a relationship, arguments and communicative misunderstandings are inevitable.

Insults and injuries occur again and again in cooperation. However, divergences and dissatisfactions should not become imperceptible and gradually lead to insoluble conflicts that can put the relationship to a severe test. While Valentine’s Day itself can’t fix problems, it can lead to a spark in change.

It could lead to a realization of your problems or a way to tell your partner that you’re ready to look at the problems and work them through. It could be a momentous day – so really, yes, you can use Valentine’s Day to your advantage. 

You have to actively communicate what you feel for your partner over and over again and must not keep it to yourself: You know how you feel for the other. But the other cannot see clairvoyantly.

Everyone likes to get a declaration of love or to hear praise for something that pleased the other. But points of criticism must also be addressed.

Only those who let the partner participate in their thoughts can expect this understanding and discuss problems.

A relationship thrives on personal, mutual attention. Interest in the partner and loving care are essential to convey: You are important to me! Giving the other time and attention makes them feel valued and vital.

You spend a lot of time next to each other in every relationship – get active and consciously take time for the other, which you use together and creatively to strengthen your relationship. Valentine’s Day can be the Day today; you both put aside your busy schedules and actually listen to each other and do something to strengthen the relationship. 

Valentine’s Day in the modern-day

The purpose of Valentine’s Day is to make that person who has stolen our hearts feel special and while luxuries are welcome, what is essential are feelings.

I swear that is not a pretext, but if you start to analyze the best moments with your partner, you will realize that the vast majority were in straightforward situations.

Money can be a problem, but not your creativity, so forget about the world closing in on you; there are many things you can do to make this Valentine’s Day magical and unforgettable.

The important thing is to make the moment with your partner something special, and indeed now that you have spent time together you know about the details that could surprise her/him or that simply will make her/him very happy. 

Giving gifts is a beautiful way to show someone you care

The enthusiasm for giving is not a matter of wealth.

If you have little, you have much the same fun as someone who has more. According to the opinion polls, women (42 percent in fact) feel the pleasure of shopping much more clearly than men because they are more likely to get the most gifts. However, on Valentine’s Day, you are certainly more likely to take pleasure in buying gifts.

Think of gifts that they truly want, or if you are a romantic, stick to the traditional gifts that will never go out of fashion—for example, a bouquet of flowers from Fig & Bloom

The act of giving should be a selfless performance. Most of the time, it is well-meant, but not always that way.

It becomes dangerous when you want to signal to the other what is right for him, patronize them with the gift, and not respond to his or her wishes. Please don’t buy a gift because you have to, because Valentine’s Day can make people feel they have to buy anything to mark the occasion.

Still, something more meaningful or with a lovely written message can have the most significant impact. 

Of course, nobody reacts disdainfully with a box of chocolates from the most exquisite chocolate shop or a beautiful designer silk scarf. While buying the right gift feels like the most challenging part of the Day, really, isn’t it.

It’s the sentiment behind the gift and the things you do that will affect your partner. While men and women have very different chemistry, they both react to how they are treated and exchanged words. Words stick with us very quickly. Especially the words that we don’t really like.

Choose your words well and use this Day to express your love in a way that reflects who both of you are. If you are not good with words, then find some help online! 

Communication is key

Every Day of the year should be based on good communication. For a relationship to continue successfully, you have to talk. While some people just aren’t talkers or some people can’t talk the way that they want to, overall, it is the most important thing.

Love takes time and effort, and the fear of it running its course may often come into your mind. 

That is why you should look to turn off all outside communication (as much as possible) on Valentine’s Day. Let it go! Giving each other time for one another is, therefore, an incredibly valuable asset. Turn off the social media apps and the phones and actually enjoy one another’s company.

Social media isn’t everything – there is no need to start sharing your Day with the world, because the truth is, most people aren’t interested at all! Besides the fact that most of us cannot “survive” without social media, online platforms are not crucial to relationships! This applies to the individuals too.

Just because your sweetheart is not so active on Facebook, Instagram & Co doesn’t mean that he doesn’t love you. Many of the behaviors described can have very banal reasons behind them, so you should not interpret the worst in every small message without a smiley face or love heart. 

How we talk to each other in our relationship

While women talk in great detail about their husbands or their affairs with girlfriends, men tend to remain on the surface with their statements about women.

Psychologist Wolfgang Schmidbauer believes that women talk more and tend to talk worse about men than men do about women. According to research, women are also more inclined to complain about their partners and attach their own unhappiness to the man’s misconduct.

Psychologist Anna Forrester advises women not to discuss problems in their own relationship with friends, but first and foremost and intensively with their partner. Again, this brings us back to communication. 

So, overall, use this Day wisely.

Show your partner that you can listen and even talk and use it as a branch of communication to look at exploring new things together or even counseling. You have so many options before you call it quits. If your relationship is already strong, improve it even further and make it an even more magical experience together. 

Jeff Campbell

Jeff Campbell is a husband, father, martial artist, budget-master, Disney-addict, musician, and recovering foodie having spent over 2 decades as a leader for Whole Foods Market. Click to learn more about me

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