My firstborn is four weeks old today and sheโs a right little legend.
If you listened to other parents or read too many โparentingโ tips online youโd almost be put off this incredible experience with all the warnings of sleepless nights, tongue in cheek craic about your life being over or how it takes over your life.
Iโm here to tell you itโs just not true, in fact for men, itโs actually very easy.
We donโt have the pains of pregnancy and labor, the breastfeeding, the hormones flying about and the getting up in the night.
First up, they really donโt do much past eating (Mum), sleeping (Their bed) and pooping (Their diapers,> Dad) with the latter actually being a bit of a laugh to do. The constant tete a tete staring into this other sentient beingsโ eyes trying to work out whether she will indeed squirt shit on your hands or wait until the new nappy is nearly on before launching a piss fountain.
Couple this with a competitive gamification timing your changes like an F1 pitstop and it really isnโt much of a chore.
Now on to sleep.
Maybe Iโm lucky but my girl sleeps most of the way through the night. When she does wake up my wife feeds her quietly and Iโll be honest, I donโt even wake up. Itโs all good.
She is being breastfed and my wife doesnโt want to wake me up for the sake of it just because she has to. Perhaps this gets worse, I donโt know?
So how about on to โYour life is overโ?
Iโve been to the pub more since she was born than we ever did beforehand. Itโs good to take her out so I strap her to me in the papoose, we walk down to the canal and go for a pint. All there while sheโs just chilling or sleeping.
I carried on playing 5aside within five days of her being born and then every week thereafter and weโre wetting the babyโs head tomorrow.
Perhaps those reading are thinking Iโm some kind of hands off, old school Dad who doesnโt muck in and leaves everything to Mum when really thatโs just not the case.
I do most of the cooking, washing up, make the wife a drink whenever she asks but letโs be honest, in the words of Roy Keane โthatโs your jobโ, you should be doing that anyway right?
Iโm fairly sure my biggest contribution to my babyโs development and care at the moment is our daily โnaked dance sessionsโ (her nappy, me football shorts) where we dance in the living room singing along to everything from Elton John to Stormzy to the Lion King and giving her some recommended skin-to-skin contact.
I have no idea whether or not she can hear the music properly or cares for my singing but she seems to enjoy it and doesnโt cry so weโll carry on this tradition.
Perhaps weโll stop when sheโs 18?
Perhaps this parenting lark will become a bit more difficult by then?
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