You might be high school sweethearts or work colleagues-turned soul mates, or maybe met through a mutual friend. You then got married, went on adventures, had kids, and you can’t believe it’s been over eight years already.
But were you the same person at 30 v.s. 40? That’s a ten-year difference!
Experiences and growing up change you over time. If you can change then, your partner can also change. Now this transformation can either go smoothly or roughly depending on your ability to compromise.
Everyone’s ready to accept and enjoy each other in their honeymoon phase. But what happens after you lose your job, or your wife gets sick, or you get a job abroad?
Fights might erupt, and disagreements take place. It gets difficult to figure out the female brain as a man, and it seems you can’t meet each other halfway.
As the book by John Gray goes, “Men are from Venus and Women are from Mars.”
So if your wife refuses to talk to you all of a sudden, should you stop pursuing the matter and let her be? Until she returns to your planet?
If you care about your marriage and want to improve things, read on to find out why your wife might be ignoring you.
You Don’t Ask Questions.
You might be thinking that “hey, it’s not our first date, so why should I be constantly asking questions? It’s not like we’re getting to know each other for the first time.”
Actually, yes, you are. And it would help if you got to know each other more as the years passed by. As mentioned before, people change, their views change, and their attitudes might do a 180 flip sometimes as they grow old and learn from the world around them.
So even after coming home from a long day’s work, ask her what she did today or, better yet, if you saw something interesting while browsing the internet, mention this to her.
Did you hear about this influencer who took a photo at her dad’s funeral? Crazy stuff, am I right?
How was your work today? Did you face any problems?
Showing concern and just being there for her can go a long way in revitalizing conversations. She might need someone to listen and comfort her when she feels down. You don’t always have to give an opinion; most often, being there as a trustworthy companion is all that matters.
Moreover, if you realize you’re facing dire financial issues, ask her how she can help you manage money better. In the past, men were the primary breadwinners of the family, so they rarely (if not at all) asked the opinions of their wives concerning financial matters.
If you made all the crucial financial decisions on your own, then what’s the point in having a partner? It’s important to know that you are not alone in this relationship. You have a companion who can also guide you to make more logical and profitable choices in your life.
You Are Not Intimate Anymore.
You had kids, and now you’re both busy with work and taking care of the household. So you may have forgotten to be busy under the sheets.
Some men think that women don’t crave intimacy as much as they do. Women who still undergo menstrual cycles have a period of enhanced sexual drive during the week before menstruating, aka ovulation.
Hence, it’s completely wrong to assume that your partner no longer seeks to have sex with you. Don’t assume that because she’s a mother or doesn’t care that much about physical intimacy.
So surprise her and plan a sexy night. Bring in some wine and chestnuts for a romantic dinner, cozy up to her, and let the emotions flow.
Some men who experience difficulty in their performance might resist talking about it, fearing it might make things worse. But you should not ignore problems like premature ejaculation, erectile dysfunction, or Peyronie’s disease.
Peyronie’s disease, for example, is a matter of great concern. When you see your penis getting more bent upwards or downwards, experiencing painful erections, and noticing lumps, you should quickly see a medical professional.
This disease occurs after an accidental injury, either after rough sex or after rigorous sports like biking. Fortunately, non-invasive treatments like Gainswave for Peyronie’s can help regenerate blood vessels and remove scar tissue.
Your Personalities Do Not Match.
A few years ago, you used to finish each other’s sentences, but now you barely see eye-to-eye. It might be frustrating to see your partner drift away, so sometimes you might avoid confrontations for the sake of preventing emotional outbursts.
However, sometimes arguments can lead to possible solutions if both parties agree to cooperate. If you feel that your partner is giving you the cold shoulder for more than a week, be upfront and ask her what’s wrong.
Your wife might be going through a middle-life crisis, problems at work, or maybe she wants to catch a break from the kids. You’ll never know unless you ask her.
Moreover, if you were an extroverted young adult but are now more into a reclusive life, you can find it hard to cope with a loud partner and wants to go out all the time.
Some people like to engage in lengthy conversations, and others prefer a small heart-to-heart chit-chat. Some people love attention, and others want to stay on the down-low. It’s okay if you feel like your partner and you don’t click like you used to. But ensure you talk it out even if you have to make the first step.
Many times relationships crumble not because of infidelity but due to personality changes. Suppose you can’t reach a mutual agreement and notice that your kids are suffering. In that case, it’s time to see a certified marriage counselor.
After all, your happiness is in your head and hands, so be sure to act when you notice the need.