5 Questions to Ask Yourself Before You Adopt a Child

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You might find you’ve reached a point in your life when you want to have a child or more than one. However, maybe you can’t have children through conventional means. Perhaps you can’t have them because you’re not physically capable of it, or perhaps there’s another reason why childbirth isn’t a viable option.

You will always find babies, toddlers, and older children who need parents and loving, nurturing families. Maybe you can provide that for them. You can think about adoption.

Before determining which path to adoption is right for you, though, you should ask yourself a few questions. We’ll cover those right now.

Do You Have the Patience to Adopt a Child?

It’s easy to say you want a child in the abstract. It’s something else again when you have that child sitting in front of you, and you know you’re responsible for feeding them, clothing them, housing them, and nurturing them.

You can’t have half a child. You either adopt one, or you don’t. Once you adopt that child, you need to care for them, which means you’ll need to exercise patience.

Some people can do that with no issues, but others might struggle with it. You can’t reason with a young child who won’t stop crying, for instance. They’re not adults yet, so they don’t have any empathy for you like you’d expect another adult would.

You need to comprehend this reality before you adopt a child. If you’re not a patient person, you’ll need to check your temper before you have a young person in your house. You can’t strike them or do anything else to harm them.

You must have discipline in mind and enact it when it’s appropriate, but you can’t take things overboard. You can never cross the line into cruelty when exercising your authority over your young charge.

Furthermore, considering the complex legalities involved, hiring an adoption attorney can provide invaluable expertise and guidance throughout the process. They can assist you with the legal requirements, paperwork, and negotiations, ensuring a smoother and more legally secure adoption journey whenever you are ready.

Do You Have the Money to Give the Child a Good Life?

Maybe you’re struggling financially right now. You might live check to check. Many Americans do these days, especially with inflation surging.

You must think carefully about whether you have the financial resources to raise a child comfortably. If you have a partner or a spouse, you must huddle with them and try to crunch the numbers before you even think about adoption in a serious way.

For example, do you have enough money for food for yourselves and the child every month? Do you have the space for them? They’ll want their own room, and can you provide that for them?

Do you have the money for toys, school books, and doctor’s appointments? If you can’t provide all of that, you’ll need to avoid adopting a child or probably even thinking seriously about it for the moment. You might want a child very badly, but you should not get one if you don’t have the financial resources to give them a good life.

Do You Have a Co-Parent Who Wants the Child as Much as You?

Sometimes, single people adopt children. There is not anything wrong with doing that, but many times, you’ll struggle as a single parent if you adopt a child.

Mostly, the child needs your time, and you might not have enough for them if you work a lot. If you have someone who’s willing and able to co-parent with you, you might work while they help to watch the kid. They can make sure the child gets to school each day, and they can give them a snack and help them with homework when the child gets home.

If you don’t have a co-parent who wants a child as much as you, you might still make that work. However, realistically, that can probably only happen if you have unlimited financial resources. If you do, you can hire a nanny or babysitter who can help watch the child and care for them when you’re not around.

Can You Take on Multiple Siblings?

Maybe you want to adopt a child, but the only one available has a sibling. Sometimes, the state will split children up, but usually, they’ll want adoptive parents to take on both siblings so they can remain together.

You might even find a situation where you have three siblings who need adoptive parents. If you have a co-parent and enough money to take all of them on, you might do that. However, many potential adoptive parents don’t feel like they have what it takes to adopt two or three kids at one time.

Will You Change Your Mind Further Down the Road?

Earlier, we mentioned how with kids, there are no half measures. That means if you adopt a kid, you should keep them with you and love and care for them until they reach age eighteen, and they presumably leave the house.

Some eighteen-year-olds live with their parents far into adulthood, though. The cost of living on their own might prohibit them from leaving.

If you adopt a child, you want to provide a stable home life for them. You don’t want to change your mind after you’ve had them for a few months. Sending them back to foster care or a group home will traumatize them if they like you and want to stay with you.

You should know when you adopt a child that they will take some time adjusting to you. They might not trust you initially, especially if they’ve spent time in foster homes and the adults there did not treat them so well.

You must feel sure you’re in it for the long haul if you adopt a child. They will expect you to become their parent in more than name only. You should make a total commitment to this child and treat them like your own flesh and blood.

If you do not feel like you can do that, then you should not adopt. This decision can certainly change your life for the better, but you can’t make it lightly.

 

Jeff Campbell
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