Crucial Positive Parenting Strategies for the Teenage Years

Positive Parenting Strategies for the Teenage Years

Parenting during the teenage years can be challenging, but there are crucial positive parenting strategies that can help. It’s important to maintain a strong parent-teen relationship, even as teens seek more independence. By spending quality time together, showing interest in their activities, and respecting their privacy, parents can foster a positive connection with their teenagers.

  • Building a strong parent-teen relationship is crucial during the teenage years.
  • Spending quality time together and showing interest in their activities helps foster a positive connection.
  • Promoting self-esteem in teens through involvement and genuine compliments is important.
  • Effective communication, including active listening and empathy, plays a major role in maintaining a strong parent-teen relationship.
  • Establishing boundaries and expectations while allowing teens to have a say in decision-making is essential.

Parenting teenagers requires effort and understanding. By implementing these positive parenting strategies, parents can navigate the challenges of the teenage years and create a happier and more successful environment for their teenagers.

Building Strong Parent-Teen Relationships

Maintaining a strong parent-teen relationship is important, even as teens seek more independence. During the teenage years, it is crucial for parents to find a balance between granting autonomy and staying connected with their teens. One effective way to build a strong parent-teen relationship is by spending quality time together. Whether it’s engaging in shared activities or simply having meaningful conversations, dedicating time to bond can foster a positive connection.

Open communication is also key in establishing a supportive relationship with your teenager. Actively listen to their thoughts and concerns without judgment, allowing them to express themselves freely. Showing empathy and understanding their perspective can strengthen the trust between you and your teen. Make an effort to have daily conversations with your teen, creating an environment where they feel comfortable sharing their experiences and seeking guidance.

strong parent-teen relationship

Respecting your teen’s privacy is another aspect of building a strong relationship. While it’s important to stay involved and be aware of their activities, it’s equally crucial to give them space to develop their own identity. Finding a balance between being supportive and allowing independence can help foster mutual respect and trust. Encouraging open and honest communication can also strengthen the parent-teen bond, as teenagers feel heard and understood.

In addition to these strategies, for additional insights and valuable advice on navigating the complexities of parent-teen relationships, consider visiting Famous Parenting, a resourceful parenting blog.

In conclusion, building strong parent-teen relationships requires quality time, open communication, and a supportive attitude. By dedicating time to connect with your teenager, actively listening to their thoughts and concerns, and respecting their privacy, you can establish a positive and lasting bond. Remember, maintaining a strong relationship with your teenager can contribute to their overall happiness and success.

Promoting Self-Esteem in Teens

Promoting self-esteem in teens is crucial, with parents being involved and offering genuine compliments. During the teenage years, when adolescents are experiencing various physical, emotional, and social changes, their self-esteem can often be fragile. As parents, it is important to provide support and encouragement to help build their confidence.

One effective way to promote self-esteem is through involved parenting. This means taking an active interest in your teen’s life, hobbies, and accomplishments. Ask them about their interests, attend their extracurricular activities, and show genuine enthusiasm for their achievements. When your teen knows that you are genuinely interested in their life, it can boost their self-esteem and strengthen your parent-teen relationship.

In addition, offering genuine compliments can have a significant impact on your teen’s self-esteem. Praising their efforts, highlighting their strengths, and acknowledging their accomplishments can help them develop a positive self-image. Remember to be specific in your compliments, focusing on their character traits or actions rather than just their appearance. This will reinforce their self-worth and teach them to value themselves beyond their physical attributes.

The Power of Positive Affirmations

Positive affirmations are another valuable tool in promoting self-esteem. Encourage your teen to practice positive self-talk by affirming their abilities and qualities. Help them identify their strengths and remind them of their worthiness. For example, phrases like “I am capable,” “I am resilient,” or “I am deserving of love and respect” can have a powerful impact on their self-esteem, fostering a positive mindset.

Benefits of Promoting Self-Esteem How to Promote Self-Esteem
1. Increased confidence and self-belief 1. Show genuine interest in your teen’s life
2. Improved resilience to peer pressure 2. Offer specific, genuine compliments
3. Better mental health and emotional well-being 3. Encourage positive self-talk and affirmations
4. Enhanced ability to handle challenges 4. Foster a supportive and nurturing environment

By promoting self-esteem in teens, parents can help them navigate the challenges of adolescence with greater confidence. Remember, building self-esteem is an ongoing process that requires consistent support and positive reinforcement. With involved parenting, genuine compliments, and the power of positive affirmations, you can help your teen develop a strong sense of self-worth and empower them to thrive.

Promoting Self-Esteem in Teens

Remember: You play a vital role in shaping your teen’s self-esteem. Your words and actions can have a lasting impact, so choose them wisely.

Effective Communication Strategies

Effective communication is key in maintaining a positive parent-teen relationship. It is essential for parents to establish open lines of communication and actively listen to their teenagers. By creating a safe and supportive environment, parents can encourage meaningful conversations that foster understanding and mutual respect.

One way to enhance communication is by showing empathy towards your teen’s experiences and emotions. Try to put yourself in their shoes and validate their feelings. This will help them feel understood and more likely to open up to you.

Another effective strategy is to talk to your teen daily, even if it’s just for a few minutes. Regular communication shows them that you are available and interested in their lives. It also provides an opportunity to address any concerns or issues that may arise.

Creating opportunities for meaningful conversations is crucial. This can be done by participating in activities together, such as going for a walk or cooking a meal. By engaging in shared experiences, you can foster a deeper connection and encourage open dialogue.

Effective Communication Strategies Benefits
Active listening Enhances understanding and builds trust
Showing empathy Makes teens feel supported and valued
Regular communication Strengthens the parent-teen bond
Creating shared experiences Promotes open dialogue and connection

Remember, effective communication is a two-way street. Encourage your teen to express their thoughts and opinions, and be receptive to their ideas. By fostering open communication, you can strengthen your relationship and navigate the challenges of the teenage years together.

“Communication is the key that unlocks the door to your teen’s world.” – Unknown

Effective Communication Strategies

Boundaries and expectations should be established, while allowing teens to have a say in decision-making. This balance is crucial in fostering a healthy and respectful parent-teen relationship. By setting clear limits, parents can provide the structure and guidance that teenagers need while still respecting their growing need for independence.

In order to establish effective boundaries, it’s important for parents to engage in open and honest conversations with their teens. This allows them to understand their teen’s perspective and concerns, fostering a sense of trust and cooperation. By involving teens in the decision-making process, parents can empower them to take ownership of their choices and actions.

One effective strategy for setting boundaries is to establish family rules that are mutually agreed upon. By involving teens in the creation of these rules, parents can ensure that they are fair and reasonable. This not only encourages accountability and responsibility but also teaches teens valuable life skills such as negotiation, compromise, and problem-solving.

To further reinforce boundaries, parents can utilize meaningful consequences. When a teen crosses a established limit, it’s important for parents to follow through with appropriate consequences that are consistent and related to the behavior. This helps teens understand the importance of respecting boundaries and the consequences of their actions.

Boundaries and Expectations

Benefits of Establishing Boundaries
1. Provides a sense of security and stability for teens.
2. Helps teens develop self-discipline and responsibility.
3. Sets clear expectations and guidelines for acceptable behavior.
4. Fosters a sense of mutual respect between parents and teens.

Quotable:

“Establishing boundaries allows parents to guide their teens while still respecting their growing need for independence.” – Parenting Expert

By establishing boundaries and expectations, parents can create a supportive and nurturing environment for their teens. It provides them with the necessary structure and guidance while still allowing them to grow and make their own decisions. This balanced approach to parenting can lead to healthier communication, increased self-confidence, and ultimately, happier and more successful teenagers.

Encouraging Healthy Habits

Encouraging healthy habits is crucial during the teenage years. As teens navigate the challenges of adolescence, it becomes even more important for parents to prioritize their well-being. By promoting good self-care and open communication, parents can help their teens establish lifelong habits that will benefit them both mentally and physically.

One effective way to encourage healthy habits is by eating meals together as a family. Research has shown that regular family meals can have numerous positive effects on teenagers, including improved nutrition, better academic performance, and reduced risk of developing unhealthy behaviors such as substance abuse. Gathering around the table provides an opportunity for parents to model healthy eating habits and engage in meaningful conversations, strengthening the parent-teen bond.

Another crucial aspect of fostering healthy habits is promoting good self-care. Encouraging teens to prioritize adequate sleep, exercise, and stress management can contribute to their overall well-being. Parents can lead by example, emphasizing the importance of self-care and providing support and guidance to help their teens establish healthy routines. By engaging in activities that promote relaxation and stress reduction, such as practicing mindfulness or participating in hobbies, parents can show their teens the value of taking care of both their physical and mental health.

To ensure open communication about healthy habits, it is important for parents to create a safe and non-judgmental environment. By actively listening and showing empathy, parents can establish trust and encourage their teens to express their needs and concerns. This open line of communication allows parents to provide guidance and information on topics such as nutrition, exercise, and mental health. Through meaningful conversations, parents can help their teens develop a positive relationship with their own bodies and make informed choices that support their well-being.

Benefits of Encouraging Healthy Habits in Teens
Improved nutrition
Better academic performance
Reduced risk of unhealthy behaviors
Stronger parent-teen bond
Enhanced overall well-being

In summary, encouraging healthy habits is crucial for teenagers. By eating meals together, promoting good self-care, and maintaining open lines of communication, parents can help their teens establish lifelong habits that support their physical and mental well-being. Creating a nurturing environment and engaging in meaningful conversations can contribute to stronger parent-teen relationships and foster a positive sense of self. By prioritizing healthy habits, parents can set their teens on a path towards a happier and more successful future.

encouraging healthy habits

It’s important for parents to stay involved and ensure their teen’s safety. Parenting during the teenage years can be a challenging time, as teens become more independent and start exploring their own identities. However, maintaining a strong parent-teen relationship is crucial for their well-being.

A key aspect of ensuring teen safety is open communication. Parents should make an effort to talk to their teens on a daily basis, asking about their day, their friends, and any concerns they may have. By actively listening and showing empathy, parents can create a safe space for their teens to express themselves.

teen safety

Setting clear boundaries and expectations is also important for teen safety. By establishing family rules and discussing them with their teens, parents can help guide their decision-making process and promote responsible behavior. While it’s important to give teens some autonomy, it’s equally important to have clear limits in place to ensure their safety.

Teen Safety Strategies

To further enhance teen safety, parents can consider implementing the following strategies:

  • Know their friends: Get to know your teen’s friends and communicate with other parents. Building a network of trusted adults can provide additional support and supervision.
  • Monitor online activity: With the increasing use of technology, it’s essential to be aware of your teen’s online presence. Regularly check their social media accounts and have open conversations about internet safety.
  • Teach responsible decision-making: Help your teen understand the consequences of their actions and encourage them to make thoughtful choices. By discussing potential risks and weighing the pros and cons, they can develop critical thinking skills.

By staying involved, establishing clear boundaries, and promoting open communication, parents can ensure the safety of their teenagers. Remember, strong parent-teen relationships are the foundation for happier and more successful teens.

Key Points: – Maintaining a strong parent-teen relationship is crucial for teenager’s safety
  – Open communication and active listening create a safe space for teens
  – Setting clear boundaries and expectations while allowing autonomy

Navigating Peer Pressure and Decision-Making

Helping teens navigate peer pressure and make good decisions is crucial during the teenage years. As adolescents strive to establish their own identity and gain independence, they often face various influences that can affect their choices. By equipping them with the necessary skills and providing a supportive environment, parents can empower their teens to make positive decisions that align with their values and aspirations.

One effective strategy is to encourage open communication and active listening. By fostering an environment where teens feel comfortable sharing their thoughts and concerns, parents can gain insights into their experiences and offer guidance when needed. Empathy is also important, as it helps parents understand the pressures and challenges their teen may face. This empathetic approach allows for meaningful conversations that can help teens weigh the consequences of their actions and make informed choices.

Key Strategies for Navigating Peer Pressure and Decision-Making
1. Encourage open communication and active listening
2. Foster empathy to understand the challenges faced by teens
3. Create opportunities for meaningful conversations

Another important aspect of helping teens navigate peer pressure and decision-making is supporting their individuality and fostering a strong sense of self. Encouraging them to embrace their own identity and values empowers them to make choices that are authentic to who they are. It’s important for parents to have honest conversations about the potential risks and benefits of various decisions, while respecting their teen’s autonomy and allowing them to take ownership of their choices.

Ultimately, by providing guidance, fostering open communication, and supporting their teen’s individuality, parents can play a pivotal role in helping their teens navigate peer pressure and make decisions that contribute to their personal growth and well-being.

Navigating Peer Pressure and Decision-Making

  • Helping teens navigate peer pressure and make good decisions is crucial during the teenage years.
  • Encouraging open communication, active listening, and empathy can foster meaningful conversations and help teens consider the consequences of their choices.
  • Supporting their individuality and autonomy while providing guidance allows teens to make authentic decisions aligned with their own values.

Dealing with Difficult Behavior

Dealing with difficult behavior is a common challenge during the teenage years. As adolescents navigate their way through this period of self-discovery and growth, they may exhibit behaviors that are frustrating or challenging for parents to handle. However, with the right strategies and a compassionate approach, parents can effectively address these behaviors and guide their teens towards more positive choices.

One important strategy is to implement related consequences. It’s crucial for teens to understand that their actions have consequences, both positive and negative. By establishing clear expectations and consequences for behavior, parents can help their teens develop a sense of responsibility and accountability. For example, if a teenager consistently breaks curfew, a related consequence might be temporarily reducing their social privileges. This approach teaches them the importance of respecting boundaries and making responsible decisions.

Another difficult behavior that parents often encounter is temper tantrums. These outbursts of anger or frustration can be overwhelming, but it’s important for parents to remain calm and empathetic. By acknowledging their teenager’s emotions and engaging in active listening, parents can validate their feelings and help them work through their emotions in a healthier way. Offering support and guidance during these challenging moments can strengthen the parent-teen bond and foster emotional growth.

Dealing with difficult behavior

Parents should also be aware of the difference between occasional bad behavior and the presence of ongoing behavioral issues that might require professional intervention. If a teenager consistently displays aggressive, destructive, or harmful behavior, it’s important to seek help from a qualified professional, such as a therapist or counselor. They can provide valuable guidance and assistance in addressing these more serious challenges.

Dealing with difficult behavior during the teenage years is not an easy task, but with patience, understanding, and a proactive approach, parents can effectively navigate these challenges. By setting clear expectations, implementing related consequences, and maintaining open lines of communication, parents can guide their teens towards more positive and responsible behaviors, ultimately helping them develop into confident and well-adjusted young adults.

Encouraging Positive Behaviors

Encouraging positive behaviors is essential for teens’ growth and development. It not only helps them build strong character traits but also prepares them for future success. There are various ways parents can promote positive behaviors in their teenagers, such as teaching important life lessons and engaging in meaningful conversations.

One effective approach is to create a list of values and discuss them with your teen. These values can include honesty, respect, kindness, and responsibility. By having open conversations about these values and their significance, you can help your teenager understand the importance of embodying these behaviors in their daily lives.

Another valuable strategy is to lead by example. Teenagers are highly influenced by their parents’ actions and behaviors. By demonstrating positive behaviors yourself, such as being respectful, showing empathy, and practicing good communication skills, you provide a strong role model for your teenager to emulate.

Benefits of Encouraging Positive Behaviors
1. Enhanced self-esteem and confidence
2. Improved social skills and relationships
3. Better decision-making abilities
4. Increased motivation and drive

“Encouraging positive behaviors not only benefits teenagers in their current lives but also prepares them for a successful future.” – Parenting Expert

Lastly, it is important to recognize and reinforce positive behaviors when you see them. Use genuine compliments and praise to acknowledge your teenager’s efforts and achievements. This not only boosts their self-esteem but also reinforces the importance of those positive behaviors.

Encouraging positive behaviors in teenagers may require patience and consistency, but the long-term benefits are invaluable. By fostering a positive environment and actively promoting positive behaviors, parents can help shape their teenagers into responsible, compassionate, and successful individuals.

positive behaviors

Embracing teens’ independence and autonomy is crucial for their personal growth. As teenagers navigate their way through adolescence, it is natural for them to seek more independence and autonomy. Encouraging their freedom of choice and decision-making can empower them to develop their own identities and build a sense of self-confidence.

Respecting privacy is an essential aspect of supporting teens’ independence. While it is important to stay involved in their lives, giving them space to explore their own interests and navigate challenges independently is equally vital. Trusting their judgment and allowing them to make their own decisions, within reasonable boundaries, can foster their sense of responsibility and prepare them for the future.

One effective way to promote independence is by involving teens in setting the rules and boundaries of the household. This collaborative approach not only gives them a sense of ownership but also teaches them valuable negotiation and compromise skills. By including them in the decision-making process, parents can ensure that the rules align with the family’s values while still acknowledging and respecting their teens’ perspectives.

Embracing teens’ independence and autonomy requires patience and understanding. While we may feel the urge to protect them at all costs, we must remember that allowing them to make mistakes and learn from them is a crucial part of their growth. By providing guidance and support rather than control, parents can empower their teens to develop their own unique identities and become responsible, self-reliant individuals.

independent teens

Conclusion

Strong parent-teen relationships can lead to happier and more successful teenagers. Parenting during the teenage years can be challenging, but there are crucial positive parenting strategies that can help. Maintaining a strong parent-teen relationship is important, even as teens seek more independence. Spending quality time together, showing interest in their activities, and respecting their privacy can help foster a positive connection.

Promoting self-esteem in teens is also crucial. Parents should be involved in their teens’ lives, offering genuine compliments and support. By nurturing their self-esteem, parents can empower their teenagers to develop a strong sense of self-confidence and resilience.

Effective communication is key in building strong parent-teen relationships. Active listening and empathy play a major role in understanding their perspectives and validating their emotions. Parents should make an effort to talk to their teens daily and create opportunities for meaningful conversations.

Establishing boundaries and expectations is essential for teenagers’ growth and development. While it is important to allow teens to have a say in decision-making, clear limits and family rules should be set to provide structure and guidance.

Encouraging healthy habits, such as eating meals together, promoting good self-care, and maintaining open lines of communication, can have a positive impact on teens’ overall well-being. It also shows them that their parents care about their physical and emotional health.

Ensuring teen safety is of utmost importance. Parents should stay involved in their teens’ lives, being vigilant of potential risks and providing guidance to help them make safe choices.

When navigating peer pressure and decision-making, parents should empower their teens to make good choices aligned with their own identity. By fostering open and non-judgmental conversations, parents can equip their teenagers with the necessary tools to navigate these challenges.

Dealing with difficult behavior requires a proactive and understanding approach. Implementing related consequences and addressing issues such as temper tantrums and bad behavior can help teenagers learn valuable life lessons and develop healthier habits.

By embracing their teens’ independence and autonomy, parents can encourage their growth and development. Allowing them to make their own decisions, while providing guidance and support, helps teenagers gain confidence in their abilities and establish their own identity.

In conclusion, positive parenting strategies for the teenage years are crucial for raising happier and more successful teenagers. Building strong parent-teen relationships, promoting self-esteem, effective communication, establishing boundaries, encouraging healthy habits, ensuring teen safety, navigating peer pressure, dealing with difficult behavior, and embracing independence and autonomy all contribute to the well-being and development of teenagers. With these strategies, parents can support their teens in becoming confident, resilient individuals ready to face the challenges of adulthood.

FAQ

Q: What are some positive parenting strategies for the teenage years?

A: Maintaining a strong parent-teen relationship, promoting self-esteem, effective communication, establishing boundaries and expectations, encouraging healthy habits, ensuring teen safety, navigating peer pressure and decision-making, dealing with difficult behavior, encouraging positive behaviors, and embracing independence and autonomy.

Q: How can I build a strong parent-teen relationship?

A: Spend quality time together, maintain open lines of communication, show interest in their activities, respect their privacy, and be supportive.

Q: How can I promote self-esteem in my teen?

A: Be involved and show genuine compliments and support.

Q: What are some effective communication strategies for parent-teen relationships?

A: Practice active listening, show empathy, talk to your teen daily, and create opportunities for meaningful conversations.

Q: How can I establish boundaries and expectations with my teen?

A: Involve them in decision-making, set clear limits, and establish family rules.

Q: How can I encourage healthy habits in my teen?

A: Eat meals together, encourage good self-care, and maintain open lines of communication.

Q: How can I ensure my teen’s safety?

A: Stay involved in their lives, be vigilant, and prioritize their safety.

Q: How can I help my teen navigate peer pressure and make good decisions?

A: Encourage them to stay true to their own identity, provide guidance, and promote open communication.

Q: How can I deal with difficult behavior in my teen?

A: Implement related consequences, address issues such as temper tantrums and bad behavior, and seek professional help if needed.

Q: How can I encourage positive behaviors in my teen?

A: Teach life lessons, engage in meaningful conversations, and provide positive reinforcement.

Q: How can I embrace my teen’s independence and autonomy?

A: Allow them to make their own decisions, respect their privacy, and support their journey towards independence.

How to Support Teens with Gender Identity Issues

I have 2 teen daughters who have struggled with gender identity. My oldest was labeling herself non-binary and frequently changing the pronouns she wants to be called, and my middle daughter previously identified as a boy. So how can I help my teen with gender identity issues?

Parents can help teens with gender identity issues by:

  1. Listen without judgment
  2. Love them unconditionally
  3. Providing them the facts about gender that they likely aren’t hearing on social media or from friends
  4. Get them counseling
  5. Be aware of signs of depression or possible self-harm

Parents should not blindly accept a change of gender, but also shouldn’t force them to be a certain way (and risk alienating them)

But it’s not really nearly that simple.

So in this article, we’ll look at the facts surrounding true gender dysphoria. And we’ll see how that differs from what’s really going on with today’s youth, which to me, seem obsessed with labels about both gender and sexual orientation.

And we’ll talk about some proven do’s and don’ts regarding what to do if this is happening in your house.

Think your daughter’s confusion is a sign of a bigger problem?

While gender confusion and self-discovery are common for teens, sometimes it’s something more and they may need professional help to work through this challenging time.

Luckily the folks over at PrideCounseling work with thousands of kids just like yours and mine.

Get matched with licensed therapists who specialize in working with teens who identify as part of the LGTBQ+ community. Let them know of the issues and signs you’re seeing. Once you approve, you connect them with your child for online therapy they can access right on a smartphone or computer.

And, of course, they’ll let you know if they sense anything serious.

CLICK HERE to check out PrideCounseling and see if it might be worth considering for your family’s peace of mind!

teen gender identity issues lg

Is it normal for teens to struggle with gender identity?

It is becoming more and more popular and common for tweens and teens in recent years to obsess with gender labels and switch gender identities or pronouns. That doesn’t mean it’s normal, but it has become commonplace.

My teen daughters have dozens of friends and acquaintances collectively.

And I bet that easily 60% of them (all girls) now claim to be one of the following:

  • Gender fluid (they feel free to identify as one gender or the other at will)
  • Non-binary (they believe they are neither 100% one gender nor the other)
  • Agender (they don’t identify as any gender)
  • Cisgender (a person who identifies with the gender of their birth)
  • Demigender (only partially identify with one particular gender)

And a host of other made-up terms.

If I sound frustrated, it’s because I am. Gender isn’t something we choose. It’s something we are born with. And I don’t care if a man wants to love another man or a woman, or the same for women. But I don’t just get to wake up one day, switch my pronouns to they/them, and call myself gender fluid on a whim.

I’m a guy. And nothing I say will change that.

That by no means is to claim that there aren’t people out there with true gender dysphoria. There most definitely are people out there who were born into the body of one gender who truly feel the opposite gender on the inside.

But the actual instances of that are much fewer and further between than what we are currently seeing with teens at large today. More of that below.

Can non-binary be a phase?

Non-binary is a made-up term and has been discredited by the man who first claimed to be non-binary. So it is most definitely a phase and a trend that is not rooted in any real science or medical issue and can very much be a phase.

The danger, of course, is that the longer a teen (or adult) holds on to an image, the more likely it is to stick.

As they say, “fake it, ’till you make it”. And if you do something long enough, eventually you’ll believe it and won’t know the difference.

I had an interesting discussion the other day with my oldest daughter.

She was criticizing a woman named Oli London who identifies as “nonbinary Korean”. This woman even went so far as to have plastic surgery to make her look Korean. But she was born in England and is not of Korean ancestry.

My daughter was criticizing her claiming that “you can’t just decide you want to be a different race than what you were born”. I, of course, reminded her that really wasn’t all that different than deciding to be a different gender than what you were born.

I didn’t sway her with my logic, but it did give her something to think about.

Of course, going back a few years, we also had the case of Rachel Dolezal, the ex-NAACP leader who was white but “identified” as black.

They even created the term “transracial” to describe her.

In short, we are all born a certain way, and while we can empathize with a culture, race, gender that is different from our own, and even move to an area to indoctrinate ourselves with that cultural aspect, we don’t get to just switch from what we were born just because we feel like it.

Like Lady Gaga says we were “born this way”.

That doesn’t mean a man or woman can’t be androgynous or fluctuate their gender expression. But that doesn’t actually change their biological gender.

Is gender a social construct?

The concept of gender as a social construct is an increasingly accepted perspective, emphasizing the influence of societal and cultural factors on gender roles and expectations. However, it’s important to acknowledge that some individuals hold a different viewpoint more rooted in biological considerations.

From a biological standpoint, sex is typically determined by reproductive anatomy and genetic factors.

Critics argue that biological differences between males and females play a significant role in shaping gender identity, suggesting that gender is not solely a social construct.

While acknowledging the existence of biological differences, it is crucial to recognize that gender identity extends beyond biological sex. Many argue that gender encompasses a complex interplay of biological, psychological, and sociocultural factors. This perspective emphasizes that individuals’ self-perceived gender may not align with their assigned sex at birth.

It is essential to approach discussions on gender with respect and sensitivity, acknowledging the diverse range of perspectives and experiences. Recognizing the validity of diverse gender identities and promoting inclusivity remains crucial for creating a supportive environment for individuals across the gender spectrum.

For resources and information on supporting gender diversity and inclusivity, organizations such as The Trevor Project provide valuable insights and support for LGBTQ+ individuals due to their increased risk of suicide, mental health problems, and increased substance abuse. 

Understanding and appreciating the complexities of gender, encompassing both sociocultural influences and biological considerations fosters a more inclusive and informed society that values and respects the diverse experiences and identities of individuals.

The biggest issue right now is that people who challenge ideas like “gender as a social construct” is more and more ostracized and based as bigots despite the actual science being in favor that gender is determined biologically.

So who invented the term non-binary?

James Shupe was the first person to use the term non-binary. He was physically and sexually abused as a child and first came out as trans in 2013, then non-binary in 2016. However, by 2019 he reverted to being male and has since called the term non-binary “psychologically harmful legal fiction.”

So non-binary was a term made up by a guy who was sexually abused and very confused.

It’s not a real term used by science or medicine. Shupe claims he was experiencing psychosis when he opted for the term non-binary and later felt he was pushed and encouraged by mental health professionals who were too concerned about political correctness and LGTBQ backlash if they didn’t 100% support his psychotic views.

So make no mistake. The guy who made up the term is very much opposed to the concept. And we, as caring parents, should be too. Read his whole story, in his own words, here.

That doesn’t mean we can’t love our kids, even if they do identify as non-binary.

But we can still love them and support them and disagree with them. And as parents, as always, it’s our job to educate them.

They may not agree with us. And they may even get mad or think we’re somehow bigoted (which we are not) for not buying into a made-up term that has since been disowned by the guy who created it.

But we can’t just hide our heads in the sand out of political correctness either.

What does it mean if my daughter is non-binary?

A daughter who is non-binary believes she is neither 100% male nor female. Technically it is part of the larger category of transgendered, although there are many trans people and non-binary people who reject that.

So it may mean that she sometimes dresses like a boy (not unlike what we called tomboys when I was a kid).

But other times, like my oldest daughter, she may wear fake eyelashes and tons of makeup. So it’s really all over the place. She may also reject the pronouns of her and she, favoring instead they/them.

Of course, some non-binary kids want hormone treatment and puberty blockers to chemically alter their feelings about their sexual identity.

As parents, it’s critical that we avoid doing that. Once they turn 18, they’re free to pursue that. But really up until the age of 25, their brains are still very much developing, and it’s tragic to alter teens’ natural development prior to that with chemicals or gender reassignment surgery.

But some misguided parents still persist in doing that.

Why are there so many labels now for gender and sexual orientation?

Tweens and teens are obsessed with labels for gender and sexual orientation. Essentially, they are coming up with labels for every possible variation that can be thought of, as it’s a way of feeling a part of something rather than feeling alone and isolated with the normal teenage hormonal confusion.

But in the days and years following 2020 and the lockdowns, it is also a way of controlling something when so much about our kids’ lives was totally out of their control.

I already covered some of the possible gender terms above kids these days are using. But again, those are:

  • Gender fluid (they feel free to identify as one gender or the other at will)
  • Non-binary (they believe they are neither 100% one gender nor the other)
  • Agender (they don’t identify as any gender)
  • Cisgender (a person who identifies with the gender of their birth)
  • Demigender (only partially identify with one particular gender)

And here are some of the sexual orientation terms also being thrown around:

  • Asexual (not being sexually attracted to anyone of any gender)
  • Bisexual (being attracted to both men and women)
  • Gay (men who are attracted only to other men)
  • Lesbian (women who are attracted only to other women)
  • Pansexual (kind of like bisexual, but they don’t believe there are just 2 genders)
  • Questioning (those who are undecided about their sexuality)

It’s enough to make your head spin!

Of course, when I was a kid there were men and women and gays, lesbians, and straights. That’s it. 5 terms. I didn’t know about trans back then, although certainly true gender dysphoria and hermaphrodites were around.

But the only excuse for how many labels there are today and how much the media and social media, in particular, is pushing this agenda is the obvious goal of destroying the so-called nuclear family.

That puts us as caring parents, in a crucial position. And we can’t just sit back and hope for the best.

Can gender confusion be a phase?

Gender confusion can be a phase unless it is a case of true gender dysphoria or hermaphroditism. The media, social media, and peer pressure at school all have an impact on teens’ ability to see themselves and their own views on gender and sexuality.

So it can very much be a phase during the teenage years that most young people will grow out of.

But as I said above, there’s also the issue of doing it for so long they don’t know how to go back without disappointing their friend group or feeling like a phony.

So we as parents have a crucial role.

We have to support them and love them unconditionally. But we also owe them to always be honest with them and to tell the truth. Just like when they were 4 and we worked with them on reading and spelling, we still have to educate them.

They just talk back more now. But we can’t stop just because it gets difficult or unpopular.

What is gender identity disorder?

Gender identity disorder, also known as gender dysphoria, is a term previously used to describe a psychological condition where an individual experiences distress or discomfort due to a significant incongruence between their gender identity and their assigned sex at birth.

It is important to note that this term has been updated in current medical literature to reflect a more affirming and accurate understanding of transgender experiences.

Gender dysphoria refers to the distress or discomfort that can arise from this incongruence, and it is now recognized as a medical condition by reputable medical organizations. It is essential to approach this topic with sensitivity and respect for individuals who may be experiencing gender dysphoria.

The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5), published by the American Psychiatric Association, provides diagnostic criteria for gender dysphoria. It emphasizes the importance of affirming and supportive approaches in helping individuals with gender dysphoria.

For more information and a comprehensive understanding of gender dysphoria, it is recommended to refer to reputable medical sources such as the World Professional Association for Transgender Health (WPATH) and their Standards of Care for the Health of Transsexual, Transgender, and Gender Nonconforming People. The WPATH website provides valuable resources: https://www.wpath.org/.

It is crucial to note that gender identity is a deeply personal and individual experience, and the understanding and acceptance of gender diversity have evolved over time. It is essential to respect and support individuals in their self-identified gender, and to use appropriate and affirming language when discussing this topic.

What are the signs of gender dysphoria?

Gender dysphoria refers to a condition where an individual experiences distress or discomfort due to a mismatch between their gender identity and the sex assigned at birth. While everyone’s experience is unique, there are common signs and symptoms associated with gender dysphoria. It’s important to note that only a qualified healthcare professional can diagnose gender dysphoria based on a comprehensive assessment.

Signs of gender dysphoria may include:

  1. Persistent discomfort: A persistent and strong desire to be of a different gender or the persistent belief that one’s assigned gender does not align with their true identity.
  2. Discontent with one’s body: Feelings of discomfort or distress related to primary and secondary sex characteristics, such as breasts or facial hair, that do not align with one’s gender identity.
  3. Preference for opposite gender roles: Strong identification with or preference for the gender roles, clothing, and activities typically associated with the gender opposite to the one assigned at birth.
  4. Social discomfort: Difficulties or discomfort in social situations that involve gender-specific expectations, such as using public restrooms or participating in gendered activities.
  5. Emotional distress: Feelings of anxiety, depression, or general emotional distress related to the incongruence between one’s gender identity and assigned gender.

It’s important to consult with a healthcare professional who specializes in gender identity issues for a proper diagnosis and guidance. The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5) is a widely used resource for diagnosing gender dysphoria. More information can be found on the American Psychiatric Association’s website: https://www.psychiatry.org/

Remember, each person’s experience of gender dysphoria is unique, and it is essential to provide support, understanding, and respect for individuals who may be going through this journey.

How many people have gender dysphoria?

Approximately 1.7 million people on Earth have gender dysphoria. For men, that is 1 person out of every 3,800 people, and for women, that is 1 person out of every 5,200 people.

(source)

It’s also worth noting that that same study showed a 20% increase between 1980 and 2015.

But what it does mean, given most of us know maybe 100 people, is that no one reading this should know more than 1 person with a true gender identity issue.

And yet among my daughter’s friends, I can count a dozen probably.

That tells me that something else is going on aside from true gender dysphoria. It’s also interesting that the study showed a 20% increase from 1980. That’s not in total numbers which would make sense as the overall population increases.

No, that’s a 20% increase in the percentage of people who have it.

So why is it increasing rapidly? Well, as with autism rates, we don’t have a clear answer. We just have questions and conspiracy theories.

But what is true and undisputed is that our exposure to EDCs (Endocrine-disrupting chemicals) has risen significantly.

And a study published by the US National Library of Medicine showed that “high-level fetal exposures to known EDCs . . . is associated with gender-related effects”.

They go on to note that:

“These chemicals mimic hormones, and can disrupt differentiation and development in a wide variety of ways, by duplicating, exaggerating, blocking, or altering hormonal responses.”

And those exposed to “pesticides including DDT and DDE—have been shown to have been “feminized.”

For me, as someone who worked for 20+ years for Whole Foods Market and is naturally skeptical against chemicals and pesticides, this isn’t surprising.

But I bet it is for many of you. And remember, that study is published on a US government website; not some backwoods conspiracy nut’s website.

So what are EDC’s?

According to hormone.org, “Some EDCs act like “hormone mimics” and trick our body into thinking that they are hormones, while other EDCs block natural hormones from doing their job.”

Common places to find it which make their way into households every day include:

  • DDT (pesticide banned worldwide in 2004)
  • Glyphosate (sprayed on non-organic wheat)
  • Atrazine (sprayed on non-organic corn)
  • BPA (used in plastic wrap and plastic bottles)
  • Perfluorochemicals (used in microwave popcorn bags)
  • Triclosan (used in some toothpaste and anti-bacterial soap)
  • Phthalates (used in body care products and sunscreen)

So as you can see, many of us use these products every day.

But what is the role, if any, these products and our increasing use of them, have on the fact that our teens are now more and more obsessed with gender labels, changing genders, and altering their natural biological existence?

Again, questions but no real answers. But good food for thought.

Is gender dysphoria the same as gender confusion?

No. Gender dysphoria is not the same as gender confusion. Gender dysphoria refers to a medical condition where someone was truly born in the biological body of the opposite gender from what they truly feel. Gender confusion can come about from peer pressure, sexual assault or trauma, and social media pressure and can diminish over time.

So in short, someone with true gender dysphoria may feel from a very young age that they were supposed to be the opposite gender. And while they may self-medicate in adulthood to numb their pain, they don’t ever stop feeling that way.

And many, but not all, will take hormones and/or seek surgical treatments to transition to the gender they believe themselves to be.

Gender confusion, which is what is affecting many teens and tweens right now is more about wanting to fit in, not wanting to be ostracized, and buying into an agenda being pushed by the media and social media.

And while not all will grow out of this “phase”, many will.

Final thoughts

Ultimately I love my daughters no matter what they want to be called.

And no label or pronoun is going to change that. That being said, they are biologically girls. And unless someone was born intersex (what used to be called hermaphrodite), where portions of both sex organs are present at birth or has true gender dysphoria, gender is not actually fluid and you are either a boy or a girl.

If someone wants to call themselves the other, hey; it’s a free country.

But that doesn’t change reality. And I think when we as parents and the media try and alter that reality for the sake of political correctness, we’re really doing our kids a huge disservice.

We can hold to what we know is true and love our kids unconditionally at the same time. Remember, unconditional love doesn’t mean we have to agree with everything they believe.

Think your daughter’s confusion is a sign of a bigger problem?

While gender confusion and self-discovery are common for teens, sometimes it’s something more and they may need professional help to work through this challenging time.

Luckily the folks over at PrideCounseling work with thousands of kids just like yours and mine.

Get matched with licensed therapists who specialize in working with teens who identify as part of the LGTBQ+ community. Let them know of the issues and signs you’re seeing. Once you approve, you connect them with your child for online therapy they can access right on a smartphone or computer.

And, of course, they’ll let you know if they sense anything serious.

CLICK HERE to check out PrideCounseling and see if it might be worth considering for your family’s peace of mind!

 


Cheapest Cars to Insure for a Teenager in 2024 (New & Used)

least expensive cars to insure for teenage drivers young woman in a yellow shirt driving a convertible Middle Class Dad

As my daughters go deeper into their teen years, before I know it, they’ll be driving cars. So I wondered about the cheapest cars to insure for a teenager.

Here are the cheapest cars to insure for teenage drivers:

  1. Fiat 500 – MSRP $26,565 – New
  2. Chevy Equinox – MSRP $26,300 – New
  3. Honda Civic Hatchback – MSRP $23,250 to $29,850 – New
  4. Honda Civic LX Sedan – MSRP $22,350 – New
  5. Mazda3 Sport Sedan – MSRP $23,000 – Used
  6. Ford Fusion S Hybrid Sedan – MSRP $20,000 – Used
  7. Ford Fusion – MSRP $19,000 – Used

On average, insurance rates for a family adding a 3rd car and teen driver to their policy can expect rates to increase by 62%.

It’s a proud day for parents when we see our young ones graduating from high school.

That is traditionally the beginning of a new chapter of their lives. This of course also means that they are ready to drive their very own cars.

It’s important to make sure that young drivers are fully aware of the importance of driving carefully and maintaining a clean driving record – not only to ensure their own safety, others’ safety, and the safety of their vehicle and property, but also to ensure that they don’t have to deal with issues like applying for a hardship license.

Driving safe and staying out of trouble is the best way for them to stay safe and keep car insurance cost low. In this article, we’re exploring the world of teen drivers and insurance costs.

We’ll examine average car insurance rates, how much policies go up adding teens, and some crucial steps you can take to minimize the increased costs. Also be aware that due to the events of 2020, car prices and availability have changed radically. So expect to pay more and for them to be harder to find.

Specifically, we’re looking at the cheapest cars to insure for a teenager, so you can get them the best cars they’ll love with insurance costs that won’t break the bank!

After all, finding affordable insurance is a nightmare, especially when it comes to auto insurance for teens.

The following new cars are safer for teens, have a low price, AND are among the lowest cost to get insurance on. For used cars, CLICK HERE to skip down:

Cheapest New Cars to Insure for a Teenager

1. Fiat 500 – $26,565

least expensive cars to insure for teenage drivers Fiat 500 blue Middle Class Dad

One of the most trusted cars, the Fiat 500 is a complete car in terms of safety, reliability as well as stylish looks.

A small car, Fiat is fully equipped with the latest tech. Featuring a 5-inch infotainment touchscreen on the dashboard, Fiat is for all those who love retro and vintage cars.

Not only does it look super adorable, but it also drives very smoothly without giving any hitches. The best part? It is extremely economical and at under $30,000, it’s one of the least expensive cars to insure for teenage drivers.

That being said, this car has increased in price significantly (almost doubled) from when I first wrote this article. So do be aware that unlike 2-3 years ago, you can probably get more car for the buck by looking at others on my list.

2. Chevy Equinox – $26,300

least expensive cars to insure for teenage drivers Chevy Equinox green Middle Class Dad

This sleek crossover SUV is perfect for your young blood.

It does not contain too many powertrains and when it comes to technology, Equinox has its limitations. However, It was one of the top picks by IIHS as a safe car.

The rearview camera allows for better visibility. Seating and airbag security are also in check. Your kid will love you for getting them this beautiful car!

3. Honda Civic Sedan – $22,350

least expensive cars to insure for teenage drivers Honda Civic black Middle Class Dad

The Honda Civic is known for its additional safety features.

This car contains a reverse camera as well as features like daytime running lights, anti-lock brakes, electronic stability control, side airbags, as well as airbags for the torso and head.

One more exciting feature is that a hands-free Bluetooth phone connection is integrated into the car’s digital dashboard control. If you opt for the hybrid model, the car will also contain front crash prevention.

So it would be much safer for your teen.

For real peace of mind, don’t forget the Always Prepared 149-Piece Roadside Assistance Emergency Kit(click to check the current price on Amazon).

It’s almost 5 stars on Amazon Prime with well over 300 less-worried parent reviews. It includes jumper cables, a first aid kit, and other crucial survival items if the unexpected happens to your child.

4. Toyota Prius – $24,625

least expensive cars to insure for teenage drivers Toyota Prius white Middle Class Dad

The incredible thing about Toyota Prius is that it is an extremely eco-friendly car, as it runs not just on fuel but battery too.

Prius features electronic stability control, side airbags, driver knee airbag, and anti-lock. Since it is eco-friendly, it will allow your teen to select one of the three modes that help in improving fuel consumption.

5. Mazda 6 – $24,325

least expensive cars to insure for teenage drivers Mazda 6 blue Middle Class Dad

Mazda 6 is not your typical family car.

It is a sports sedan that is perfect for teenagers with raging hormones. Laced with features like electronic stability control, multiple airbags, anti-lock brakes, and daytime running lights, this reliable car also contains blind-spot monitoring and rear cross-traffic alert system.

This means that your young driver will be able to see at the front as well as at the back of the car!

Not wanting to buy a new car? For many, buying a late-model used car makes much more financial sense. So make sure you check out the crucial steps for Buying a Used Car (click to read my steps now) while avoiding the most common pitfalls.

6. Mitsubishi Outlander Sport – $22,995

least expensive cars to insure for teenage drivers Mitsubishi Outlander white Middle Class Dad

Even though it is a small SUV, Mitsubishi Outlander does not lack in the safety department.

It has a driver knee airbag, rollover sensors, airbags on the front and sides, as well as electronic stability control.

It is perfect for youngsters who want an attention-grabbing SUV, as it also features a 6-inch touchscreen display, a front dual-zone climate control, and a rearview camera. This car allows for seven-passenger seating.

7. Subaru Outback – $28,395

least expensive cars to insure for teenage drivers Subaru Outback red Middle Class Dad

Given the best ranking for front crash protection, Subaru Outback is the car to opt for if you are worried about your teenager’s rash driving skills.

This beauty also features electronic stability control, side airbags, a rollover sensor, and daytime running lights.

Outback has a unique feature of the EyeSight Driver Assist system that has two cameras right next to the rearview mirror so that the driver may be warned of a collision before it takes place.

This system helps the driver in keeping within the lane by automatically tapping on the brakes when the car swerves out of control. Not one of the least expensive cars to insure for teenage drivers, but certainly one of the safest.

8. Nissan Rogue S FWD – $27,360

least expensive cars to insure for teenage drivers Nissan Rogue orange Middle Class Dad

Want something that isn’t simply safe but catches the eye too?

Then Nissan Rogue is the one you are looking for. The SUV features head curtain airbags for all the seats, electronic stability control, front seat-mounted torso airbags, and a rollover sensor.

This car is also perfect for long drives to and back from college because its front seats are designed in a way that reduces fatigue to the back and helps in improving blood circulation.

Cheapest used cars to insure for teenage drivers

Don’t want to shell out the big bucks for a brand-new car for your teen?

I get it and won’t be doing that for my girls either! I actually love what my dad did for me in high school for my first car. He said he would match me dollar for dollar any amount I could save up.

I ended up saving $700 and bought a $1,400 used Toyota Corolla.

But without further ado, here are the cheapest used cars to insure for teenage drivers. Not surprisingly, the newer versions of some of these also make the new car list.

Prices are all for 3-year-old models around 30,000 miles in great condition.  The prices are courtesy of Kelly Blue Book.

As I update this article each year, these cars and prices may change.

When options were available, I selected the lowest-priced option for the listed price and in “very good” condition (lower than “excellent”). I also selected buy from a private party which is almost always less expensive.

Obviously, prices will vary based on zip code, mileage, and condition. Prices shown here are not guaranteed and are given only for a range and for informational purposes only.

1. Honda Civic LX Sedan – $25,000

The Honda Civic is known for its additional safety features.

This car contains a reverse camera as well as features like daytime running lights, anti-lock brakes, electronic stability control, side airbags, as well as airbags for the torso and head.

One more exciting feature is that a hands-free Bluetooth phone connection is integrated into the car’s digital dashboard control. If you opt for the hybrid model, the car will also contain front crash prevention.

So it would be much more safe for your teen.

2. Mazda3 Sport Sedan – $20,000

Mazda3  is not your grandpa’s sedan!.

The Mazda3 ranks in the top 50% for the compact car class. It has great engine performance, awesome safety scores, and a luxury-like interior.

3. Ford Fusion S Hybrid Sedan – $18,000

least expensive cars to insure for teenage drivers Ford Fusion grey Middle Class Dad

 

The great news about Ford Fusion is that it is very intelligent when it comes to saving up on the fuel, hence perfect for teenagers.

Some other terrific features include traction and stability control, anti-lock brakes, integrated blind spots, and optional lane departure warning.

The speed is limited to 80 mph which will keep your youngster in check when they are driving on the highway!

4. Subaru Outback – $28,000

least expensive cars to insure for teenage drivers Subaru Outback red Middle Class Dad

Given the best ranking for front crash protection, Subaru Outback is the car to opt for if you are worried about your teenager’s rash driving skills.

This beauty also features electronic stability control, side airbags, rollover sensor, and daytime running lights.

Outback has a unique feature of EyeSight Driver Assist system that has two cameras right next to the rearview mirror so that the driver may be warned of a collision before it takes place.

This system helps the driver in keeping within the lane by automatically taping on the brakes when the car swerves out of control. Not one of the least expensive cars to insure for teenage drivers, but certainly one of the safest.

5. Subaru Forester 2.5i Sport Utility 4D – $28,000

The Forester has a rare perfect rating not only for head-on collisions but also for side-impact crashes from The Insurance Institute for Highway Safety.

After all, you not only want an inexpensive car for insurance for your teen, but you want a safe one too!

Additional safety features include:

  • Rollover sensor
  • Electronic stability control
  • Driver knee airbag

6. Ford Fusion – $19,000

least expensive cars to insure for teenage drivers Ford Fusion grey Middle Class Dad

The great news about Ford Fusion is that it is very intelligent when it comes to saving up on the fuel, hence perfect for teenagers.

Some other terrific features include traction and stability control, anti-lock brakes, integrated blind spots, and optional lane departure warning.

The speed is limited to 80 mph which will keep your youngster in check when they are driving on the highway!

This car was discontinued by Ford in 2021, so just know that used is the only option up to 2021 unless they decide to bring it back.

Frequently Asked Questions

Why is auto insurance more expensive for teens?

Auto insurance rates are higher for teens to cover the increased losses they are more likely to incur. Teens get in over 230,000 accidents each year, and car crashes are also the leading cause of death for teens. Every accident, death, and bodily injury or property claim is lost profit for the insurance company. 

(source)

Since your teenager may not have started working yet, you will likely be the one paying for all the damages.

If you’re adding a teenage driver to your auto insurance, the rates will be going up. It’s the perfect time to review your coverage and compare rates with multiple companies.

How can a 17-year-old reduce car insurance?

A 17-year-old driver can reduce their auto insurance rates by adding themselves to their parent’s policy rather than getting their own, taking a defensive driving course, get better grades at school, drive a more sensible, less flashy car, and go longer periods of time in between moving violation tickets and incidents.

In some ways, expensive auto insurance for teens just goes with the territory.

Parents and teens have been dealing with this since the invention of the automobile. After all, as I mentioned above, car crashes are the leading cause of death for teens, and every year, teens get in over 230,000 car accidents.

Ultimately it’s the insurance company that has to pay out damages, medical bills, and lawsuits resulting from those things. So they offset those losses by making assumptions about all teens and driving.

Unfortunately, that assumption is that teens don’t drive well, aren’t very safe, engage in risky behavior, and are more likely to cause an accident. All of that adds up to higher costs of insurance.

However, it’s not all bad news and there ARE some things you can do to cut the cost of insurance for a 17-year-old or any teenage driver, such as:

  • Take a defensive driving course – I’m used to doing this for speeding tickets, but generally, your insurance company will give a discount for taking this course. Just check with them first as they may require certain providers. Many classes these days are done online which your teen will appreciate
  • Keep the grades up – Yup, most insurance companies reward drivers under age 25 if they have a B average (in high school) or a GPA of 3.0 (in college). They figure if they’re crackin’ the books, they’re not crackin’ the beers! This is called the Good Student Discount.
  • Keep driving safe – It goes without saying for all of us that the longer we go without an accident or claim, the cheaper our insurance will get. So keep driving safe and don’t file minor, more frivolous claims
  • Rethink the frat parties – It might surprise you, but some companies such as Geico, actually give discounts for college students who are members of certain fraternities and sororities
  • Don’t drive a flashy car – It makes sense. But if you buy your 17-year-old a red Corvette, you can bet the insurance company is going to charge you more than if you bought them a late-model baby blue Hyundai. So vehicle types can make a huge difference with your ability to find cheap car insurance.
  • Buy a beater and only get liability coverage – It (hopefully) goes without saying that your child’s first car doesn’t need to be a Lamborgini. In fact, my first car was a 1971 Toyota Corolla. That kind of car doesn’t really need comprehensive and collision coverage as you’ll likely spend more in a year than the car is worth. So buy an inexpensive used car and just get liability coverage to save a ton!

How much does insurance cost for a 17-year-old male?

The national average to insure a 17-year-old for car insurance is $8,844 a year, which is 237% more than what adults over 30 pay.

By comparison, the national average for adults is currently $1,758 a year. Specifically, that’s for teens between ages 16-19. (source)

The good news is that insurance costs do start going down at age 19 ($4,130/year) and then down again at age 21 ($2,217).

By the time your child turns 25, they’ll still be a lot higher than what it costs parents, but still gradually improving, coming in at 1,931.

I have daughters so the good news for me is that female teens generally see an average of 12% better rates than teen boys. AND when they turn 19, they will be saving about 45% over what parents with teen boys are paying.

The reason, of course, is that statistically speaking, girls are much safer drivers than boys.

The other potentially bad news is if you live in one of the following states, which rank as the most expensive states for teenage driving insurance costs:

  • Texas (darn it, that’s where I live)
  • New York (no surprise, but if we lived in NYC we wouldn’t drive)
  • Deleware
  • Louisana
  • Michigan

Do I need insurance to drive my parent’s car?

Yes, once a teen gets a driver’s license (not a learner’s permit) they do need insurance even if driving their parent’s car.  Teens don’t have to have their own policy, and it’s usually cheaper for a teenager to be added to their parent’s policy. 

Ultimately insurance covers a driver, not a vehicle, and even if they have insurance on their cars, if you drive them without being added, you are driving without insurance.

Trust me, as someone who got a no-insurance ticket in my early 20’s, you DON’T want that.

You especially don’t want it as it’s probably a whole lot more expensive of a mistake now than it was then. At the time, I thought I couldn’t afford insurance while flipping burgers at Wendy’s for $3.25/hour (which was kind of true).

BUT, in reality, the ticket and then having to file an SR-22 each year for 5 years afterward was REALLY something I couldn’t afford.

So yes, new drivers should get their parents to add them to their insurance, or don’t drive. It’s as simple as that.

How much does insurance go up after adding a teenager?

For a 1-car family, expect your auto insurance to go up about 44% for adding a teen to your policy. With 2 cars you will see a 58% increase, and having 3 cars with a teen on the policy will see an increase of 62%.

Figures courtesy of Insurance.com.

All that being said, adding them to your policy is DEFINITELY what you want to do compared with getting them their own separate policy.

For the same coverage on the same car with their own individual policy, you or they will pay 365% MORE than if you just added them to your policy.

In short, no matter what you do, having teenage drivers is an expensive proposition, so just start budgeting now.

Can I stay on my parent’s car insurance if I move out?

Younger drivers can usually only stay on your parent’s auto insurance policy after moving out if you are still their dependent, driving a car they own, or if you are a full-time student. In most cases, insurance companies prefer the insured to live and park the car where the main policyholder lives. 

What it comes down to is an insurance term called “separate residence” and the definition of that term varies from company to company.

Staying on their policy, which is definitely cheaper up through age 25, works best if you leave home to attend college, whether you stay in college housing or rent somewhere near the university. This is often true whether you are using an in-state school or are in a different state.

But do check with your parent’s insurance company as it may vary from company to company.

Unlike health insurance, there is not a dedicated cutoff age for children being on a parent’s insurance policy.

But in most cases, once a child is done with college, unless they are living with their parents, it’s unlikely the insurance company will continue to allow them to stay on their parent’s policy.

Final thoughts

In this post, we looked at the cheapest car to insure for a teenager. But we also explored safety concerns, looked at why the costs to insure a teen are so high, and explored some ways you can cut those costs.

When it’s time to get your teen their first car, get them involved. Ask their opinion on which car they like best.

Also, get them involved in the financial process.

Have them save up and then match however many dollars they can raise. That’s exactly what my dad did for my first car and it was a great financial lesson that has stuck with me.  Or if you buy the car have them be responsible for insurance and maintenance.

We also know that car repairs can be expensive.

And what’s worse is that many people don’t have enough money to pay for it. So, how to pay for car repairs with no money? Well, the answer is simple: you need to get insurance coverage for your car or you can get a small loan. This will protect you in case of an accident or other mishap. It will also cover any damage done to the car by other drivers or objects, such as trees or rocks.

Buying your teen a car can be stressful, nerve-wracking, and expensive, but it doesn’t have to be that way.


The images used in this post were acquired from the web and are considered “fair use” under US Copyright law given this post is for the purposes of reviewing these products. That being said if the original photographer prefers us to not use their photo, we will happily swap them out upon being contacted.

How Do I Stop My Daughter from Sneaking Out?

Being the parent of a teen can be challenging at times. Teens like to test boundaries and rebel a little. Sometimes that rebellion can include sneaking out of the house. This has some parents asking, how do I stop my daughter from sneaking out?

To stop your daughter from sneaking out, start by calmly talking to her about why she is sneaking out. Also, let her know the dangers of sneaking out. As a last resort, place alarms on all exterior doors to alert you anytime they are opened once the alarm is set.

While it can be normal for kids to sneak out of the house, it can be really dangerous. 

I know. My second daughter was sexually assaulted in 2020 after an episode of sneaking out. As a Dad, there’s nothing scarier than that. And, of course, some predators wouldn’t just stop at sexual assault. So in many ways, she got lucky.

So here, we’ll look at why kids sneak out, but we’ll also look realistically at the dangers. And lastly, we’ll look at both verbal and technical ways to prevent it and curb this behavior.

Just keep reading!

woman-in-blue-denim-jacket-indoors-800703

Is it normal for kids to sneak out of the house?

Rebelling and sneaking out of the house is a normal part of growing up. However, the world is a more dangerous place than it was for previous generations, and smartphones and social media have made sneaking out less innocent than they used to be.

Sneaking out at night almost seems to be a right of passage as a teen. 

Just about every young adult book, movie, and TV show has characters that sneak out of the house for whatever reason. It can be anywhere from starting trouble to simply seeing if you can get away with it. 

I started doing it when I was 15.

But that was also in the late 70s and early 80s. Not that there weren’t dangers, but the world was a different place then. And not to be sexist, but some of those dangers are greater for teenage girls than it is for boys.

So just because it can be a normal part of being a teen doesn’t mean you want your kid doing it.

As the parent of a teen, it’s your job to keep your child safe. It’s your job to guide her towards making the right decision and then helping her learn from her mistakes. 

You’ve probably noticed that not only is your teen more secretive as she gets older, but she is moodier, quieter, and brooding.

School is getting more challenging, and friendships are more complicated. Some worry and anxiety are normal. If your daughter’s anxiety doesn’t seem to ease up, she may have an anxiety disorder.

Anxiety disorders should be treated by a medical professional. To read more about anxiety in teens, read this recent article. What really surprised me was how much more likely it is now for teenage girls to develop anxiety disorders than it was just a decade ago.

Just click the link to read it on my site.

What to do when you catch your teenage daughter sneaking out?

When a teenage daughter is sneaking out, do not take it personally. Stay calm and focus on the behavior. Talk to her openly and honestly about why she is doing it and why it is upsetting for you. But do have consequences for any bad behavior, such as losing her phone for a week or more.

Ultimately, she may just be bored or be feeling isolated.

While you may want to yell and impose harsh punishments, that won’t solve the problem. In fact, it may push your daughter further away. It may encourage her to become sneakier and more secretive.

This kind of parenting is called authoritarian parenting.

The best parenting styles help prepare kids for the real world. They foster integrity, kindness, and honor. Authoritarian parenting does none of those things.

To read more about the detrimental effects of authoritarian parenting, check out this recent article.

Just click the link to read it on my site.

Instead, get to the root of the problem by having a serious conversation with your daughter. Sneaking out can be incredibly dangerous.

If she’s seeking more freedom, find ways to help her get it in a way that isn’t so dangerous.

If she wants to see a boy, find out who the boy is and why she feels like she needs to sneak out to see him. Get to the root of the problem and try to solve it together.

Why does my daughter keep lying to me?

Kids lie for all kinds of reasons. From anxiety to ADHD, even lack of confidence can lead to lying. They may also be afraid of their parents or consequences. But the more open and honest the parent is with the child, the more likely the child will be that way in return.

Kids with ADHD will often lie due to impulsivity. They simply speak before they think. Then, when they’ve realized that they may have lied, they feel like they can’t backtrack to get out of it.

Sometimes kids can really believe they have done something and tell what may sound like a lie. But really, they just forgot.

For example, if your daughter says she did her homework but forgot she had extra work to do, it can sound like she lied, even though she really just forgot. 

Sometimes, kids with anxiety or depression will try to minimize their issues to take the focus off of themselves. They don’t want people worrying about them.

Talk to your daughter about her lying and try to get to the root of it.

By being rational and focusing on the issue itself, you’re engaging in a parenting style known as authoritative parenting.

Authoritative parenting encourages self-will and guides children to learn from their decisions. This is unlike authoritarian parenting, which is a “my way or the highway” type of parenting.

To read more about the different types of parenting styles, check out this recent article.

Just click the link to read it on my site.

By learning about our parenting styles, we can learn where we are and what areas we may want to grow in.

What are the dangers teenage girls face by sneaking out?

Teenage girls who sneak out risk sexual assault or being pressured to use drugs or alcohol. 1 in 9 girls experience sexual assault and 82% of all victims under 18 are girls.

(source)

But first and foremost, if you don’t know where your kid is, you won’t know that they need your help when they’re in trouble. 

Whether you have a son or a daughter, it’s important to know where they are and who they are hanging out with. If your daughter sneaks out at night, not only do you not know where she is, but you don’t know who she’s with, either. 

It may be innocent and she’s just testing boundaries. Or she could be involved with more serious activities. 

The bottom line, though, is that if she needs you, and can’t for whatever reason, reach out to you, you won’t know until morning when you find her empty bed. 

In terms of drinking, drugs, and physical or sexual abuse, sneaking out is often an element. If your daughter is involved with any of these things, you may not know for hours. 

Those hours could mean the difference between life and death. 

What is the best self-installed alarm system on Amazon?

The Ring Alarm system is the best and easiest way to install a full-fledged alarm system without hiring a professional. And the paid monitoring is optional and the system functions quite well without it.

CLICK HERE to see it on Amazon.

An easy, inexpensive way to prevent sneaking out is to install an alarm system. If nothing else, it’ll wake you up when your daughter attempts to leave. 

The Ring Alarm System includes a base station, keypad, four contact sensors, a motion detector, and a range extender.

The small kit is good for smaller spaces, like apartments or condos. The medium kit is great for 1-2 bedroom homes and will cover about 1,000 to 2,000 square feet.

If that isn’t enough, the system offers additional components to fit your needs. Or you can simply purchase the 14-piece kit, which is suitable for 2-4 bedroom houses. 

It offers optional 24/7 professional monitoring, emergency police, fire, and medical response. But you don’t have to pay for that, and you can do a lot just with the system by itself.

You can get mobile notifications too, so if your daughter sneaks out when you’re not home, you’ll know.

The best part is that anyone can install and set up the alarm system. 

All you have to do is plug in the base station, connect to wi-fi, and place the sensors where you think they need to be placed.

Alexa users can use their voices to arm and disarm the system. You can even use Alexa to request emergency responders.

The system has all sorts of modern upgrades. You can get indoor cameras and video doorbells, all at a fraction of the cost of commercially installed alarm systems.

CLICK HERE to see it on Amazon.

Final Thoughts

Kids sneak out for all sorts of reasons. Typically it involves testing boundaries and trying to get some sort of independence.

But it can definitely be more sinister than that.

It’s important to put a stop to it as soon as possible. Start by finding out why your daughter is sneaking out and work together to find a solution to end it.

Think your daughter’s sneaking out is a sign of a bigger problem?

While sneaking out has been a rite of passage for teens for decades, sometimes it’s something more and they may need professional help to work through this challenging time.

Luckily the folks over at TeenCounseling work with thousands of kids just like yours and mine.

Get matched with licensed therapists who specialize in working with teens. Let them know of the issues and signs you’re seeing. Once you approve, you connect them with your child for online therapy they can access right on a smartphone or computer.

And, of course, they’ll let you know if they sense anything serious.

CLICK HERE to check out TeenCounseling and see if it might be worth considering for your family’s peace of mind!


Middle Class Dad is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com. As an Amazon Associate, I may earn a small commission from qualifying purchases if you click to Amazon from my site and choose to make a purchase. This is no way increases the cost to you.


Signs Your Daughter is About to Start Her Period

menarche symptoms signs your daughter is about to start her first period pre-teen girl sitting by her scooter looking concerned Middle Class Dad

As a dad with 3 daughters, I began to wonder what the signs your daughter is about to start her period are, sometimes called menarche symptoms.

The signs your daughter is about to start her period include:

1. Breast development
2. Pubic hair growth
3. Vaginal discharge
4. Fatigue
5. Mood swings
6. Breakouts and acne
7. Increased Appetite and/or Food Cravings
8. Growth spurts
9. Bloating and cramps

So now that you know all the signs your daughter’s period is about to start, let’s review the specifics of each one and answer some additional questions.

Co-authored with women’s health expert Aashna Grover of Sharda Hospital.

The teen years can be incredibly challenging for both kids and parents

As a dad of 2 (currently) middle-school daughters, I see the challenges daily.

Social media pressures (even from things as seemingly benign as TikTok). Both my girls have school-mates experimenting with drugs and alcohol and sex. It all happens much younger now than it did when I was their age.

I’m not afraid to say it, but my wife and I get professional help with both our oldest girls.

That doesn’t mean they are weak (or that we are). Instead, just the opposite; we want them to be strong; to not only survive but thrive!

Luckily, we heard about TeenCounseling.com where kids can get professional counseling from a licensed therapist. The best part is the therapist meets with you first to get a clear understanding of what your expectations are. Then, and only once you give your stamp of approval, do they get to meet your child.

CLICK HERE to learn more about Teencounseling.com and see if it might be able to help you and your daughter better navigate the coming years.

Let me know how it works for you!

What does menarche mean?

Menarche, a Greek word, literally means the first menstrual cycle. This, of course, begins the process of our daughters becoming young women.

The changes a female body goes through during menarche are many and unpredictable. For some, the sudden urge for certain foods is strong. On top of that, some have difficulty regulating their emotional state.

Periods are inevitable.

Every girl has a distinctive experience and handles it in her own way. However, you can help make it a positive one by telling your daughter what to expect, helping her stay calm.

As your daughter approaches the start of her period, why not help her with one of my favorite books on helping young girls understand the changes their bodies are going through.

The book is called Celebrate Your Body; The Ultimate Puberty Book for Girls (click to check the current price on Amazon), by Sonya Renee Taylor. It’s a number 1 best seller and has glowing reviews.

How long after a girl gets pubic hair does her period start?

Just after your daughter’s breasts start to form, she’ll probably start growing pubic hair.

It will be soft and thin at first, but it’ll get coarser over time. Her period usually arrives around one to two years later. Thus while that is one of the signs your daughter is about to start her period, it’s not an immediate indicator.

So let’s review all the . . .

9 Proven Menarche Symptoms of Your Daughter’s First Period Starting

1. Breast Development

When your daughter is about to start puberty, a change in the breasts is likely the first of the menarche symptoms.

Most girls begin to menstruate 1-2 years after their breasts start to grow. It is perfectly normal. In the beginning, the small bumps on the nipples grow. Later, the darker area of the nipple begins to grow as the breast area starts to puff out. The raised part might feel like there is a little lump on the chest.

This development process is usually visible on one side at first.

The other side could take up to 4-6 months to catch up. These are called breast buds. Usually, breast buds grow about two years before the period starts. However, it can take up to three years if they develop at an early age (around 8 or 9).

If a girl develops breasts later (like at age 13), it may take less than a year for the first period to start. Besides, by the time you notice breast buds, the overall growth has already become faster.

But breast budding is generally the first of the signs your daughter is about to start her period.

2. The Growth of Pubic Hair

Soon after the breast buds grow, your daughter may notice pubic hair growth.

At first, she may just see a few long, sparse, straight and soft hairs in the beginning. However, as the hair will fill in, they will become darker, curlier and coarser.

Over the next few years, the pubic hair grows up in the groin area. Further taking on a triangular shape, the hair finally spreads to the inner thighs.

It is important to note that underarm hair doesn’t begin to grow until around when menstruation begins.

Make sure that you guide your daughter about the change she will be experiencing. In this case knowledge of the menarche symptoms can help manage the stress and fear that comes with the uncertainty.

3. Vaginal Discharge

Generally, when a girl is about to start her first period, approximately 6-12 months before she may notice white discharge in her underwear.

This white fluid is usually odorless and may look a bit yellowish when it dries out.

The fluid changes as their body produce more estrogen, and as the healthy bacteria in the vagina grow. In the weeks before the first period, she may notice the fluid becoming more opaque for a few days or springy like an egg white.

The changes in fluid consistency, odor and appearance are one of the signs your daughter is about to start her period.

4. Fatigue

The physical changes that occur before puberty definitely take their toll on your daughter’s energy levels.

Because her body is going through so much change, don’t be surprised if she gets tired much more easily than before. Menarche directly affects the body and brain to alter a girl’s needs, interests, and moods. She may feel tired and a little sad much of the time.

5. Mood swings

When her mood suddenly swings between feeling happy to feeling irritated, or vice-versa, understand her hormones are playing the trick.

Therefore, instead of being critical about her behavior, try to be supportive and encouraging. Help her understand that this is normal. Make sure she also knows you are with her in case she needs to talk.

Not sure if her mood swings are in the typical range? Learn more about eliminating anxiety and panic attacks with your kids.

6. Breakouts and Acne

Acne is also one of the first signs your daughter is about to start her period.

Acne can occur at any time. However, if your daughter complains of a sudden increase in the amount of acne over a short period of time, it may mean she is about to get her first period.

In medical terms, when a girl is about to get her first period, the level of androgens increases in their body. Androgens make the skin’s oil glands larger and make more sebum which results in pimples and acne.

Help your daughter manage her acne!

The Neutralyze Moderate To Severe Acne Treatment Kit on Amazon Prime has outstanding reviews, is an Amazon Choice product and has well over 100 reviews. Clinically proven 95% effective and it comes with a money-back guarantee.

CLICK HERE to check current prices on Amazon Prime.

Then we have the Tea Tree Oil Natural & Organic Facial Moisturizer by Era Organics. It too has great reviews on Amazon Prime, is an Amazon Choice product, and has well over 500 reviews. It is vegan, paraben-free, non-toxic, with no hormone disruptors. Gentle, yet effective.

CLICK HERE to check current prices on Amazon for this product.

7. Increased Appetite and/or Food Cravings

A strong urge or craving towards certain is another of the signs your daughter is about to start her period.

In most girls, the likeness may vary from sweets to something salty or spicy. Some girls may tend to take a swing towards the sour taste.

If you notice your daughter has suddenly developed a strong taste for new and specific foods, this may indicate that she is about to start puberty.

8. Growth Spurts

The height, body shape, fat distribution, and body composition also begin to change rapidly when a girl is about to hit puberty.

You may notice that your daughter’s clothing size has increased.

Even her pelvis and hips may have widened. There can be a change in weight too. Suddenly, she may look like a full-grown woman, though not completely.

This is totally normal when a girl is going through the menarche symptoms.

If you’re keeping track of her height, you may notice a growth spurt. When this starts to slow down, menstruation may be just around the corner.

9. Bloating and Cramps

If your almost teenage daughter complains of abdominal pain or backache, it may be an indication of menarche.

When a girl’s body produces an increased amount of prostaglandins, it makes the muscles of the uterus contract, resulting in cramps.

These on and off cramps are one of the sure signs your daughter is about to start her period.

Don’t forget to get her some products to help manage these menarche symptoms.

Yogi Teas Raspberry Leaf Tea – Supports the Reproductive System – Uterus Support for Pregnancy and Menstruation is a great way to “help relieve the minor tensions and discomfort of your monthly cycle”.

Near perfect reviews on Amazon Prime and well over 100 reviews tell you this can definitely help. CLICK HERE to check current Amazon prices.

PMS Magnesium Relief Spray is an all-natural menstrual cramp relief & PMS support.

It too has great reviews too on Amazon Prime and provides “powerful, but gentle relief from tension, anxiety, mood swings, cramps, fluid retention, difficulty sleeping” and more.

CLICK HERE to check that price on Amazon right now!

What is the average age for menarche?

According to statistics, the average age the menarche symptoms starting is between 12-14 years.

However, it is perfectly normal if your daughter gets her first period anywhere between 9-15 years of age.

In most cases, the age may differ as per the various factors including geographical region, race, ethnicity, and other characteristics.

But, always consult a doctor if your daughter is over 15 years and has still not started her period. In rare cases, puberty has set in around age 5.

Are tampons bad?

Tampons no doubt make managing a period easier. But there are also some real dangers associated with them.

So make sure to educate yourself and your daughter and, in conjunction with your doctor, decide what is best for your family.

For starters, in a recent study, feminine care products with fragrance added can raise exposure to phthalates.

These are endocrine disrupters that have been linked to lower IQs & higher rates of asthma.

Then there are issues with dioxins caused by the bleaching process of tampons. The World Health Organization classifies dioxins as “highly toxic and can cause reproductive and developmental problems, damage the immune system, interfere with hormones and also cause cancer.”

While it’s true that today’s tampons have lower levels of dioxins than the ones produced in past decades, it should still be a concern.

Lastly, we have the bacterial infection known as Toxic Shock Syndrome.

This condition became widely publicized in the 1980s after large numbers of tampon-related deaths due to TSS. Essentially this is can be either a strep or staph infection. It is not specific to tampons though and can affect both men and women.

Tampon manufacturers have cut back on the number of chemicals their tampons are treated with. While this has led to a reduction in reported cases and deaths, the condition still persists.

The more absorbent the tampon, the higher the risks, so for that reason, the Mayo Clinic recommends “use the lowest absorbency tampon you can. Change tampons frequently, at least every four to eight hours. Alternate using tampons and sanitary napkins, and use minipads when your flow is light.”

Why not get the Rael Organic Cotton Menstrual Pads (click to see current price on Amazon) from Amazon Prime?

These are the highest-rated pads I saw on Amazon with well over 1,300 reviews.

It’s a great investment in your daughter’s health. And let’s face it, most girls with menarche symptoms won’t want their mom’s pads and these are specially designed for teens and pre-teens.

Final thoughts

The onset of the first period can be anything from empowering to intimidating, depending on the environment or surroundings.

In this post, we reviewed the most common signs your daughter is about to start her period.

Therefore, when you notice any of the menarche symptoms in your daughter, know that she will need your help and support.

At that point in time, it is your responsibility to assure her that all these changes are totally normal.

With proper preparation and information, you can calm your daughter’s nerves and help her ease into womanhood smoothly and easily.

What has been your biggest challenge for parenting daughters?

The teen years can be incredibly challenging for both kids and parents

As a dad of 2 (currently) middle-school daughters, I see the challenges daily.

Social media pressures (even from things as seemingly benign as TikTok). Both my girls have school-mates experimenting with drugs and alcohol and sex. It all happens much younger now than it did when I was their age.

I’m not afraid to say it, but my wife and I get professional help with both our oldest girls.

That doesn’t mean they are weak (or that we are). Instead, just the opposite; we want them to be strong; to not only survive but thrive!

Luckily, we heard about TeenCounseling.com where kids can get professional counseling from a licensed therapist. The best part is the therapist meets with you first to get a clear understanding of what your expectations are. Then, and only once you give your stamp of approval, do they get to meet your child.

CLICK HERE to learn more about Teencounseling.com and see if it might be able to help you and your daughter better navigate the coming years.

Let me know how it works for you!


About the co-author of this post.
Aashna Grover works on behalf of Sharda Hospital and intends to spread awareness about women’s health. Sharda Hospital is one of the largest super specialty hospitals in Delhi National Capital Region (NCR). Follow them on Facebook or Twitter


Middle Class Dad is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com. As an Amazon Associate, I may earn a small commission from qualifying purchases if you click to Amazon from my site and choose to make a purchase. This is no way increases the cost to you.


Of course, I have to add that I am not a doctor or medical professional although I do have a daughter who recently started her period. While Aashna Grover works at a hospital, the opinions here are their or my opinions based on research and experience and should not be construed as medical advice. If you need professional help, you should seek out professional help in your area.

15 Best Tips on Eliminating Teenage Anxiety and Panic Attacks

anxious and sad teenage girl with her phone teenage anxiety and panic attacks middle class dad

Struggling with teenage anxiety and panic attacks with your kids?

If you’re a parent of a teen or soon-to-be-teen, I think you’ll agree with me when I say that our kids are getting moodier.

They are getting more anxious and can panic more easily over seemingly simple things. It’s getting harder to tell if something is genuinely wrong, a passing phase, or something to not worry about at all.

Our once happy child is now brooding, quiet, and maybe even secretive.

The problem is that our kids are now heading towards adulthood. School is getting more challenging. Puberty is starting. Friendships and crushes also become more challenging and complex than they were in grade school.

I’d like to tell you that there was a perfect solution to dealing with moody and anxious teens or maybe a book that solved all the issues. Unfortunately, just like the problem, the solution isn’t a simple one-size-fits-all.

In my house, we have 2 almost teenage daughters (and a newborn). I noticed profound changes as my older 2 finished out elementary school and prepared for middle school. My formerly happy girls get grouchy and anxious more easily. They stress over crushes or tests or things that were said on the bus.

Luckily my wife and I have found some very effective tools to help manage these symptoms in a way that brings peace and harmony to our house and our family outings.

In this post, we’re going to look at the most common questions surrounding teenage anxiety and panic attacks. Then we’ll take a look at the proven tips for helping manage and eliminate these issues with your kids.

What are the signs of anxiety in a teenager?

Anxiety is a normal part of growing up.

The teenage years can be some of the most stressful times in their life. Thus anxiety totally normal since their maturity, self-regulation, and communication skills are still developing.

For most kids, anxiety is usually a harmless phase that goes away all on its own. There are, however, a few genuine disorders which may require treatment. Generalized anxiety disorder is one of the big ones.

The Main Symptoms of Generalized Anxiety Disorder:

  • Difficulty sitting still
  • Irritable
  • Tires easily
  • Poor sleep patterns
  • Unfocused
  • Muscular tension

Aside from GAD, there are also other disorders to be aware of, such as:

  • Social Anxiety Disorder – The most common disorder. This is simply being uncomfortable in social settings with blushing, stammering and losing confidence
  • Obsessive Compulsive Disorder – This affects up to 3% of the population. Upwards of 10% of adults with OCD attempt suicide, so this is something to pay attention to in teens. This is notable for an obsessive attention to detail being disruptive to their daily life.
  • Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder – This can happen when a teen (or anyone) witnesses or experiences a tragic or horrible event. But even a nasty divorce can prompt this too.
  • Separation Anxiety – This can happen after the death of a parent or loved one or if a divorce removes one parent from regular contact with the child. It can also be triggered when a family moves from a long-time comfortable surrounding.

What age do you get panic attacks?

Panic attacks and panic disorders can start at any age. After all, the stresses and challenges of life happen differently to different people and can happen all throughout life.

The most common age for these to start, however, is between the ages of 15-25 according to WebMD.

It’s not uncommon at all for people to get them occasionally. But if they happen consistently it could be something called panic disorder. About 1 in 20 people are diagnosed with panic disorder. Women are twice as likely as men to be diagnosed.

The Primary child anxiety symptoms of panic disorder are:

  • Difficulty breathing
  • Racing heartbeat
  • Sweating or shaking
  • Lightheaded
  • Numbness in extremities
  • Irrational fears

The Anxiety Workbook for Teens is an Amazon #1 Best Seller. 4.5 stars and well over 100 reviews, this book “gives teens a collection of tools to help control anxiety and face day-to-day challenges. This workbook both gives anxious teens insight into their problems and offers practical guidance for overcoming them.”


What is the difference between a panic attack and an anxiety attack?

With anxiety attacks, people become afraid & apprehensive.

Their heart rate may race and their breath becomes shallow. However, these attacks are usually short-lived. Once whatever is causing the anxiety stops, the attack stops.

Panic attacks, on the other hand, aren’t usually triggered by a specific incident or event. Thus they are much harder to see coming or stop on command.

Is teenage anxiety normal?

Almost all teens get some form of child anxiety symptoms. This is totally normal.

After all, everything in their world is changing:

  • Hormones
  • Their bodies
  • School (getting harder)
  • Social pressures
  • Fear of failure & rejection

Anxiety is a normal reaction to stressful situations and is one of the main coping mechanisms for teens.

For most teens, things like finals, athletics, or their increasing awareness of their own sexuality can bring about teenage anxiety and panic attacks.

The brain naturally responds to this by increasing heart rate, perspiration and hampering the teen’s ability to focus. If your teen is struggling specifically with a Fear of Failure and/or rejection, there are some very actionable steps you can take to help resolve those issues, so take a moment and check out one of my most popular posts from earlier this year.

Can you get anxiety during puberty?

Most definitely!

Teenage anxiety and panic attacks often go hand in hand with puberty. You see, puberty is more than just facial hair on boys and breasts on girls. It’s much more complicated than that.

Puberty typically starts around ages 7-13 for girls & 9-15 for boys.

This starts when the brain releases a hormone called GnRH. As GnRH hits the pituitary gland, it releases 2 puberty hormones: LH and FSH.

Boys & girls have both of these in their bodies. But they affect boys and girls in totally different ways.

For boys, the hormones send the testes a signal to start production of testosterone & sperm.

For girls, these hormones cause the ovaries to start producing estrogen. Estrogen, along with FSH and LH, causes a girl’s body to physically mature & prepare for pregnancy.

All these hormonal changes make emotional self-regulation very challenging on top of all the other changes happening in their lives during this time.

Teenage boys in particular, while slower to mature, will start to spend more time alone, and you might see your son start to take really long showers.


The Panic Miracle system is a unique 3 step system that can help you “Treat Your Panic Attacks and Anxiety, Regain Your Self Confidence, and Enjoy Life Without Fear” without drugs, gimicks or things like hypnosis.  The system comes with a 250 page e-book, relaxation audio programs, ultimate stress-relief guide and online access and counseling with the course creator (and former anxiety-sufferer), Chris Bayliss. Learn more about whether this system is right for you at newmiddleclassdad.com/panicmiracle.


So what are the . . .

15 Best Tips on Eliminating Teenage Anxiety and Panic Attacks?

To learn how to help a teenager with anxiety, we’ve found the following 15 tips can significantly reduce or eliminate teenage anxiety and panic attacks.

At the very least these tips can help manage the symptoms and get your teen the support they need to sail through these years and enter adulthood on solid footing.

1. KEEP CALM AND PARENT ON

If your child sees you panicked or stressed over their behavior guess what’s going to get worse?

As parents, we have to be the adult and be strong, calm and patient. We have to model the behavior and self-regulation skills we’d like to see in them. So keep your cool, remember to breathe and if you need to vent to your spouse or have an emotional moment, have that in private.

At the moment your child is feeling teenage anxiety and panic attacks, that is the very moment your child needs you to be strong and calm so you can help them be stronger and calmer.

2. DON’T PUT PRESSURE ON YOUR TEEN

Life automatically puts a ton of pressure on kids these days compared to when I was a teen.

We didn’t have STAAR tests, cyber-bullying or many of the other stressors that kids face today. So the one thing we don’t want to do is make our kids feel pressured to “get over it”.

Let your child express their feelings. Listen. Let them know that these things will pass, but be patient with them and let them know you love them unconditionally.

3. HAVE THEM LEARN GOOD BREATHING TECHNIQUES

Breathe is the cornerstone of life.

That sounds simplistic, but if you look at some of the oldest health practices, whether it be yoga, Tai Chi, Qi Gong or martial arts, you’ll see they all focus heavily on the breath and using the breath to regulate the body’s nervous system, energy levels and response to stress.

Personally, as a martial artist, I like to breathe in through my nose and out through my mouth about 3 seconds in and 5 seconds out. But any focus on the breathing will help. Check out some additional breathing tips to reduce stress from Dr. Andrew Weil.

4. GET TO THE ROOT OF THE ISSUE

As with almost any issue in life, there is an underlying root problem.

So to really get over teenage anxiety and panic attacks we have to understand what is really causing them. It could be:

  1. Divorce
  2. Death of a loved one
  3. Moving to a new city (and leaving behind everything they knew)
  4. Undiagnosed dyslexia or other neurological issues

Once you understand the real underlying root issue, then and only then, can really start to address the real problem.

If you or your teen struggle with how to Let Go of the Past, I highly recommend you take a moment and check out my most shared post on Twitter about moving forward after trauma.

5. LIMIT YOUR TEEN’S TECHNOLOGY TIME

Technology is great. Without it, you wouldn’t be reading my blog.

But too much tech time affects sleep patterns, worsens ADHD and can stunt emotional growth.

But don’t take my word for that. Dr. Scott Becker is the Director of the Michigan State University Counseling Center. In studying it for 18 years, he finds a direct correlation between the over-use of technology and anxiety, depression, suicidal thoughts and more.

Learn more about How Technology Affects the Brain Negatively in one of my most shared posts from earlier this year.

6. ACKNOWLEDGE THE ELEPHANT(S) IN THE ROOM

Above, I mentioned things like divorce, moving and the death of a loved one as possible root issues.

Unfortunately, what I sometimes see (I work with hundreds of kids in my day job and my wife is a teacher) are parents wanting to do everything BUT acknowledge the real issue.

They’ll pay for doctor and therapists, medication and much more. But they gloss over the fact that they just went through a nasty divorce or the impact of having just moved cross-country or other potentially traumatic events that can have a significant impact on our kids.

So don’t feel guilty if these things happened in your family. I’ve been divorced too and have moved my kids to different cities a few times.

But acknowledge it, talk about it and understand that these things will negatively affect our kids.

We can’t always stop them from happening but we are in complete control of how we deal with it.

7. GET YOUR TEEN TO BED EARLIER

A study by the American Academy of Pediatrics found that nearly 2/3 of adolescents did not get the recommended 10 hours of sleep per night.

On average they found teens got closer to 7 hours. Lack of sufficient rest impacts grades, increases risk of depression, increases the likelihood of risky behaviors like drug/alcohol and cigarette use, and our overall ability to regulate our emotions.

Learn more about the Effects of Sleep Deprivation on Students.

8. DON’T BE AFRAID TO GET OUTSIDE HELP

Almost all of us need professional help at one point in our lives or another.

There’s no shame in admitting we need it or asking for it. There is shame in needing it and allowing ego and pride to prevent us from seeking it out.

A great psychotherapist can help you and your kids cope with the challenges and stresses that are leading to teenage anxiety and panic attacks.

9. ENCOURAGE YOUR TEEN TO OPEN UP TO THEIR FRIENDS

Everyone needs a support network.

Let’s face it. Sometimes our kids don’t want to confide in us. That’s increasingly true as they get older. While we can nurture our relationship with our kids, we should also encourage them to talk to their peers. After all, no one quite understands the challenges facing teens today like another teenager.

In this day and age of social media, you can also put technology to good use and seek out Facebook support groups. Check out a list of many of the Facebook groups that come up, but check them out before you or your teen join in.

10. GENTLY ENCOURAGE YOUR TEEN TO FACE THEIR FEARS

While we don’t want to put pressure on our kids when facing teenage anxiety and panic attacks, you can gently encourage them to deal with them.

My oldest daughter recently went to the beach. The last time she was at the beach (over a year ago), a big wave knocked her down and really scared her. As we got to the beach this time, she said she hated the beach and didn’t want to get in the water. I didn’t force her but simply asked if she wanted to get in the water with me. I assured her I’d stay by her side and we wouldn’t go too deep.

Slowly we went further out and slowly I got a little further away from her. We had a blast and 2 hours later she was out there with her sister and a family friend without me.

11. EDUCATE YOURSELF AND YOUR TEEN ABOUT ANXIETY AND PANIC ATTACKS

It’s important as parents that we know what to look for.

Teenage anxiety and panic attacks don’t happen completely out of the blue. Educate yourself and your teen. Watch YouTube videos together. Learn about symptoms and warning signs. Most importantly learn about coping mechanisms and what to when attacks are happening.

12. SPEND TIME OUTDOORS

Sunshine and fresh air are natural cure-alls for the blues.

The sun naturally provides us with Vitamin D. A recent study by the National Institutes of Health concluded that Vitamin D could be a “solution for many who are at risk for depression and possibly other mental disorders.”

So take your kid for a hike or ride bikes through the neighborhood. Go camping or just walk through downtown. The sun will do them good and the time with you is priceless.

13. SPEND TIME TOGETHER AS A FAMILY

The world today conspires to keep families apart.

People work longer hours, commutes are worse and technology often disconnects us while pretending to connect us. So when possible, spend time as a family. Eat dinners together at the dinner table. Put the phones away and talk about your day.

The family unit is important and the support and connection our kids find at home should be greater than they find anywhere else.

14. PRACTICE RELAXATION TECHNIQUES

Just like with breathing, you and your child can actively practice relaxation techniques.

Take a yoga class together or practice at home with YouTube videos. Meditation is also a fantastic practice for both parents and kids. It doesn’t have to be an hour sitting in silence either. Even just 5 or 10 minutes a few times a week can help reduce anxiety and bring focus, presence and connectedness.

Learn more about How Mindful Meditation Can Improve Your Parenting Style in one of my recent posts on Lifehack.

15. HAVE A PLAN FOR WHAT TO DO DURING AN ATTACK

My oldest daughter was recently diagnosed with SVT.

Essentially it’s an easily treatable heart condition noted by very rapid heartbeat. The research is still a little unclear but my daughter herself has noticed that the incidents have been triggered by anxiety and stress. With the help of our cardiologist, we got some specific tips on what to do when the attacks occur.

On the recent beach visit I mentioned above, she had one of those incidents. Because we had a plan, the event lasted less than a minute. Before we had a plan, her events sometimes lasted as long as an hour and a half.

So having a plan to help manage your child’s teenage anxiety and panic attacks is crucial.


Final Thoughts

In this post we looked at the most common questions parents of anxious teens are desperately searching for answers on.

We explored the differences between anxiety, stress, panic attacks and other emotional challenges facing teens today. Lastly, we looked at the 15 best tips for managing or eliminating teenage anxiety and panic attacks so your household can get back on track and be more harmonious.

My house now has peace, quiet and open and loving communication and yours can too.

If you have daughters, I also highly recommend this book from Amazon that we recently ordered: The Confidence Code for Girls: Taking Risks, Messing Up, and Becoming Your Amazingly Imperfect, Totally Powerful Self.

It’s  New York Times Best Seller, is 4.5 stars on Amazon and while it deals more with building confidence than teenage anxiety and panic attacks, there are a lot of ways these issues cross over. Help your daughters become “bold, brave, and fearless”.

Any tips, suggestions or questions on how help manage these issues in your house with your kids?
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Of course, I have to add that I am not a doctor, therapist or mental health professional. As with all most posts, I offer my opinions based on my own research and experiences. If you need professional help, you should seek out professional help in your area.