Love is a tricky thing. It can make you feel like you’re floating on cloud nine for one minute, and then you’re ready to tear each other’s heads off. Unfortunately, the inability to communicate properly is one of the reasons couples separate. Life coach and clinical psychologist Dr. Edward Dreyfus said efficient communication needs receptive and transmission skills.
This might seem unnecessary, but these discussions are essential. They will put you on the same page as your partner. This will also help ensure you agree on what kind of life you want to lead together.
Consider these topics if you need help deciding what to talk about with your fiance before you walk down the aisle.
1. Finances
What does this mean? First, it means both partners should be on the same page about how much money they make. They should also agree on how much money they expect to make. It also means both partners must be clear about their financial goals and expectations for the future. This includes whether they want a house or what kind of car they want to drive.
It’s also essential for couples getting married to discuss their credit scores and debts. These should include student loans, car payments, and other similar expenses. You want to avoid surprises after your wedding.
2. Property
Whether or not you have a prenup, it’s a good idea to discuss the topic of properties before getting married. This is crucial when you’re planning on buying a house.
You might not think your property is a big issue to discuss before tying the knot, but it can be. Suppose you have separate properties, and one partner has more than the other. This can lead to problems later. Discuss how you’ll handle these issues before you get married so that you’ll know how to resolve them when it happens.
3. Personal History
Is there anything about your past you would like to tell your partner? How do you feel about sharing personal history with the other person in the relationship? How comfortable are you about sharing details of your past?
You want to ensure that you’re both on the same page regarding your personal history. It’s best also to know what you’re looking for in the future and what you think about commitment.
Consider the following questions as your guide:
- What are your parent’s names? What do they do for a living?
- Where and when were you born?
- Who was your primary caregiver?
- Does anyone in the family have a genetic illness? What is it, and how did it affect your life growing up?
- Do you have any siblings? If so, how many? What are their names and ages? How close are you to them now?
4. Kids and Parenting
It’s essential to have an open and honest conversation about kids before you marry. Both partners may agree about having children. However, there is still a lot to discuss about how parents handle child-rearing.
For example, do both of you want to work full-time? Do you plan on staying home with the kids? How will you handle childcare if one of you has to travel or work long hours? What roles do you want each parent to play in their children’s lives? How much contact do you want your child to have with their grandparents?
If one person wants kids but the other doesn’t, then it’s time to talk about why that is. The reasons could be anything from feeling overwhelmed by responsibility to not being ready to raise an infant. It could even be knowing that one partner will not be able to have kids because of health issues.
5. In-laws
In-laws can be a source of stress and anxiety, but they don’t have to be. Before you tie the knot, have a conversation with your partner about how you see your relationship with their family.
Here are some questions you should ask each other:
- How will we handle holidays?
- What happens if one of us has to move away?
- What if our parents disagree on something?
- If one of us disagrees with our parents, do we take sides or try to mediate between them?
Communication is the Key
There are many ways to approach the topic. If you feel talking about it will be too awkward or uncomfortable, try writing down your thoughts and sharing them. You may even write letters to each other. That can be a great way to express yourself honestly and openly without worrying about saying something wrong.
The main goal is to get to know each other deeper and determine if you’re ready for the responsibilities of married life.
However, even if you did everything and still can’t salvage your marriage, you can always consult with Nussbaum Family Law. They can help draft your prenup agreement or mediate when there’s a legal controversy.
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