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A Guide to How Parents can Manage Sibling Rivalry

how to parent a toddler and a newborn Middle Class Dad a toddler boy and a new baby laying side by side on a carpet

Kids seek attention, and siblings usually quarrel over everything and anything: from toys, who will sit next to dad to cloth color, and maybe food portions — tired of mediating? How do you deal with sibling rivalry?

The constant quarrels of children can make even the calmest parents restless, and sometimes powerless, but the rivalry between brothers and sisters is completely normal. But why do children fight?

Factors which Prompt Sibling Rivalry

Knowing the causes that prompt sibling rivalry can boost your understanding and assist you in resolving your children’s issues in other sensitive approaches.

What influences children’s behavior?

Birth Order

Studies indicate that different birth order has an impact on their individual traits and response patterns due to the diverse experiences kids have in a family. Here are some facts to recall on birth order:

  • Children can never determine the birth order status of any other, and there is usually uneven power among them. Therefore, the firstborn may wish to be the last and vice versa.
  • The introduction and bringing into a family of new children, mostly in blended families, result in children losing their birth order position. For instance, the oldest could become the middle child or even the youngest. Such occurrence usually affects the children’s relationship.

Age Gap

Kids with a close age gap are proven to have strong relations and are more likely to live in peace with each other. On the other hand, children with a wide age gap usually have less connection to each other and appear to have different interests and activities as they typically spend less time together.

Gender

Some individual families favor one gender, mostly the male child. Such instances usually affect kids’ connection, especially between the less preferred and the highly preferred gender.

Temperament Divergence

Children are often born with different attitudes and are conducted variously by the parents, depending on their level of temperaments and background. Therefore, it is the parents’ reaction towards their children’s different personalities that could escalate the earnestness of competition among them.

Physical Influences

Advancing insecurities, starvation, and illness can also influence kids’ squabbling. For example, the children can constantly quarrel because of a family’s existence in a relatively small house.

Transitional Times

Siblings handle family changes differently, for example, the introduction of a newborn, when one among of them goes to school or even in case there is remarriage or separation. In this case, the antagonism intensifies during such transitional moments.

So, as a parent, having a work at home, for instance, as an essay writer, you will require a lot of focus on your day to day tasks. Therefore, how do you manage sibling competition?

The 7 Ways Parents Can Deal With Sibling Clash

Sibling rivalry does not only occur in relationships between small children but also teenagers and adults. As a parent, create a positive ambiance within your home, and this means you have to treat your children equally. Here are several ways to curb conflict among your kids.

  • Encourage your older children to look after the young ones. Allow your children to help in taking care of a newborn or younger child. As it makes them feel as a protector of their younger ones hence creates a strong bond between them.
  • Avoid comparison, especially while in front of them. Most young ones tend to perceive comparison as criticism and have a feeling of inequality whereby he or she feels worse and less loved compared to the other children.
  • Keep off your kids’ arguments only intervene when it is necessary. You can probably solve issues among toddlers or maybe teenagers but not the adults. Adult children can learn to resolve their problems when left on their own.
  • Solve problems with your children individually. If it arises a need to scold any of your children, then do it in a private place, not in front of the other kids. Children hate being teased by their siblings.
  • Encourage cooperation over the competition. Competition among siblings only ends up one way — hatred. Therefore, parents are obligated to establish a culture of helping among your children probably by praising them when they assist each other or by acknowledging harmonious behavior.
  • Prohibit any form of violence between your children. Not only educate your children on how to solve their arguments peacefully but also make them aware that you will not tolerate any form of violence.
  • Spend equal time with each of your kids. Enough one-on-one moments with each of your children will go a long way towards curbing competition. Avoid comparing their abilities, characteristics, or attitudes but show them how you dearly love each of them equally.

Therefore, it is the parents’ duty to avoid sibling rivalry by any means possible. Ensure fair treatment of each of your kids as individuals since competition fosters conflict in your home or even private life.

Jeff Campbell