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Seven Ways to Procrastinate Mowing the Lawn


Alright, you know you were meant to be mowing the lawn, and if you step outside, the grass is literally growing beneath your feet, but it is the last thing you want to do. You know you have so many terribly important things to do before you even think about digging the mower out of the shed. You can get the mowing done; after all, you have all the time in the world.

Contemplate your tools

If you had a better mower, you would not need to do the mowing at all. There must be one that does it for you. You could wander to the nearest tool store or browse the internet to find some superior gardening devices. After all, pushing the mower around the yard is so last century. Everyone who is in the know has a robot to do it for them.

Surely you can persuade your better half that a robotic lawnmower would save them from pollution from the noisy gas-powered one. How about a Worx Landroid Cordless Robotic lawnmower – a snip at just under $1,000? Or, if you have steep hills and challenging terrain, you could buy a Husqvarna Automower for just under $5,000. Of course, we are being facetious; you could get an excellent ride-on mower for that price. However, you will need to come up with a convincing argument for more machinery than the pollution one we mentioned earlier. Well, you can always dream.

Dreaming, just dreaming

Talking about dreaming, do you dream of never having to mow the lawn again? Imagine being so rich that you could employ servants with nail scissors to do it for you. How could you possibly amass such stupendous riches? We can all dream of winning the lottery or finding a pot of gold buried at the bottom of the garden. Ok, it is only a dream, but it passes the time. However, it can be fun to gamble just for the thrill. The best real money casino online can tempt you with the chance to win, you probably won’t win big, but it is nice to think that you can. Remember, don’t ever bet more than you can afford to lose. Playing the slots or tables is a great way to idle away a little time, but the grass will still need mowing.

Dress for the occasion

Now, where did you put your gardening gloves? You cannot possibly be expected to mow the lawn without the right outfit to wear. Before you can get outside, you’ll need to try on several outfits to see which one is best for the weather. Check the weather forecast; what is it going to be like today? Do you need your shorts and t-shirt and where did you put your sunglasses? Is it more of a lumberjack shirt and tough trousers day? The trouble is you can’t remember where you put your gardening clothes. You’ll probably need to plan a new gardening wardrobe. Why not take a trip to the store and try on some Carhartt workwear? You can even kid yourself that you will wear it to mow the lawn rather than just look cool when hanging out with your mates.

Watching the World Cup

Ah, yes, hanging out with your mates! The perfect occasion for doing this right now is to watch the FIFA World Cup together. It only happens once every four years. Team USA is playing; it would be unpatriotic not to watch. Surely the grass can wait, just until the USA is knocked out. But then, thinking about it, once you have started watching, you’ll need to see how all the teams do. You can’t miss out on this festival of football. Although, if you mowed your own lawn, you could stage a soccer tournament yourself.

What to eat

That soccer tournament that you are going to stage when you get around to mowing the lawn, well, who is going to do the catering? You cannot expect your friends to come and play without sustenance. Time to go online and plan some healthy snacks. Do you need protein-packed snacks for energy or those high in carbs for endurance?

Getting in shape

You can’t possibly invite everyone around to yours for the football tournament you are going to host once the lawn has been mowed without getting into shape. How many press-ups can you do? Have you tried lifting weights recently, and what about your endurance running? You probably need to get yourself down to the local sports club and sign yourself up for a fitness routine. Or does that all sound a bit too energetic?

Don’t get in trouble

Staring out the window, dreaming of your football tournament, you suddenly remember the unmown grass. You promised yourself you would get it done, and you know it won’t do itself. You didn’t get around to buying the robot either, so it definitely is not cut. However, your side of the deal was to get the backyard in shape, and now your other half is on the way back from work. Rather than charge outside and do a lousy job in a hurry, you have just about time to rush to the local shop and buy them a perfect gift to say sorry.

So much procrastination, so little time …






Jeff Campbell