Better with Age: Pros and Cons of Dating Older Men

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2 min read ★

Guest post by Georgia Selih, intro & edits by Jeff Campbell

Considering if dating older men is right for you?

Are you in a relationship with an older man (or woman)? Have you wondered how your next relationship might be different by dating older men?

As an older man with a younger wife (17 years age difference) I was intrigued by Georgia’s chosen topic. After all, while we’ve been happily married for most of our 12+ years together, the age difference has made things different.

There ARE pros and cons of dating older men, so let’s dig into her post – Jeff

Although people today are generally more accepting of a bigger age gap in a relationship than they used to be, there are still some stereotypes surrounding May-December relationships.

Some are more common and serious than others. But at the end of the day, the truth is that every relationship has its upsides and downsides ‒ and this kind of relationship is no exception.

Therefore, if you are interested in the pros and cons of dating older men, here are just a few to consider.


The proven benefits of dating older men

There are many advantages to having an older partner, mostly thanks to all the lessons they’ve learned over the years.

They are more experienced

One of the good things about dating older men is that they can actually teach you a thing or two.

An older man probably made or seen all the mistakes that you are yet to make, so he will know how to guide you or advise you. Whether in the bedroom or in life, older men don’t have a problem being leaders and helping their partners reach the next level.

Also, confidence often comes with experience, and there are very few things more attractive than that.

They know how to communicate

With younger men, there is always that issue of them not responding to your messages for hours, which can be quite frustrating.

On the other hand, one thing an older man is never going to do is ignore his partner. They understand the importance of communication & listening. They are also capable of expressing themselves much more clearly.

Most importantly, they actually want to talk about everything, and they are good listeners as well.

They are stable

Older men are much more stable, both financially and emotionally.

Now, just because a woman wants to be with somebody who has a nice job and a stable income does not automatically mean she’s a gold digger. The thing is, older men are not only better at earning money but also at investing, spending it wisely and saving for the future, which is quite comforting regardless of the age.

Such a man is also less likely to play emotional games and have unrealistic expectations about love. They know what they want, and thanks to the above-mentioned communication skills, they won’t leave their girlfriends guessing.

They are not afraid of commitments


As much as people dislike talking about this topic, everybody has an “expiration date”.

An older man knows that his is just a bit sooner than his partner’s. He’s been dating for a while, he knows his goals in life (and has probably already reached a few), and he’s ready for a meaningful relationship with one person.

This means that if the girl he’s dating knows how to be a good girlfriend, he will commit to her with all his heart.

There are also benefits to being an Older Father. So if kids might be in the picture down the road, it’s important to know that too!

The biggest downsides of dating older men

The cons are where the taboos come from. Of course, they are just stereotypes and can occur in any relationship, but still, it’s good to keep them in mind.

They might take family meetings to a whole new level

Meeting your partner’s family is always exciting, to say the least.

However, when you are closer to the parents’ age than to your girlfriend’s, it can become a bit awkward. Not everybody understands such relationships, especially when their family members are involved.

However, if you and your partner keep showing them how happy you are together, the opposing family members will be more likely to come around.

They might not take their younger partner seriously

Unfortunately, age does not always equal maturity.

Instead of becoming wiser as they get older, some men just become condescending. This leads to them not taking their partner seriously. They may even be patronizing to their younger partners because they think they always know better.

They sometimes are not even willing to try to see things from a different perspective, which nobody finds attractive.

They can be too possessive

Being an older man might make him feel threatened by your younger male friends. This can lead to him trying to control you.

In general, older men tend to be more insecure than younger men, mostly because they are aware of their looks or their lack of energy, which is why seeing their younger partner talk to a Kit Harrington knock-off might turn them into the green-eyed monster.

They are not the life of the party

A mature man usually prefers quiet evenings and dinner dates to partying in a club.

If you still like going out and dancing all night, try to find a balance between what you like and what your partner does. If he’s really not into clubbing, you can always call your girlfriends and make it a girls’ night out.

Every relationship comes with certain challenges. However, as long as you do your best to understand, respect, and accept each other the way you are, with all your similarities and differences, your age will really be nothing but a number.

Georgia Selih is author By nature an artist, by profession a journalist. An irreparable print lover who is enjoying this hot digital affair.

Want to write for Middle Class Dad? Get all the info you need here: Guest Blog for Middle Class Dad!

Have you considered dating older men?

With 17 years age difference, my wife and I have been there! How can I help?

Feel free to comment here or email me with any questions!

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2 thoughts on “Better with Age: Pros and Cons of Dating Older Men

  1. So I been seeing this guy, we are pretty much good friends with benefits, he is 45 and I am 34, He doesn’t want to commit because he is worried about the age difference as far as me not being in my prime yet and worrying about when he gets older and has equipment issues. How do I make that not an issue to him?

    – Diana C

    1. Hi Diana

      Thanks for commenting. At the time of my response I’m 53 and my wife is about to turn 37; a 16.5 year age difference. In your case the age difference is barely over a decade. It’s also not uncommon for guys to be older in relationships, so my first thought, which admittedly could be totally off base, is that there is some other reason he’s scared to commit. If he’s concerned about ED issues, those will be concerns no matter who his partner is and there are manageable soltutions to that issue too. If it was a 20+ year age difference I could accept him being cautious but an 11 year difference is fairly common.

      You mention “seeing him” but also describe him as a friend with benefits, and to me, those are 2 different things. If you’re dating, then the relationship should be progressing and should involve more than just sex and would fairly quickly become exclusive. In the other scenario while you might hang out some platonically you wouldn’t be going on dates and the relationship would mostly be sexual. There would also not likely be any agreement about being exclusive.

      I suggest describing exactly what you’re looking for in the relationship, letting him know you’re prepared to be patient about issues relating to aging and see what his response is. Don’t put demands or expectations on him, just clearly and plainly say what you want from the relationship.

      If he’s not on board then I would probably end the relationship altogether unless you are able to separate the sexual relationship from your feelings.

      Hope that helps. Feel free to chime in with additional info if you think it helps or follow up after you’ve had that conversation.



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