More and more singles are taking advantage of the convenient ways to search for prospective partners offered by joining a dating site. Although these platforms make it easy to connect, how ready are you to start exploring such a diverse range of individuals? What if you connected with someone exciting, only to discover they were a single parent? Here are five signs you aren’t quite ready for this step.
Online dating requires an open mind
To make the most of any digital matchmaking resource, the key to success is being ready to embrace the possibilities.
Getting back into dating as a single mom or dad can be tough — and complicated. However, with so many potential dates waiting to be untapped on flirtmoms or similar dating platforms, their profiles literally at your fingertips, there would be no point approaching this task with preconceptions.
But if you find yourself being judgemental about a range of topics, such as anyone’s cultural background, or how many previous partners they might have had, or you flick past the personal details of site members who have stated they have children, then you’re unprepared for what virtual dating has to offer.
Adopt the mindset that your soulmate could be waiting for you, and might be a single parent. So abandon those hangups.
Are you the jealous type?
If you are self-centered, perhaps with a fragile ego that requires massaging every so often, how will you cope with a partner who is never going to put you first in her priorities?
When you learn she has children, it could be the case that this is something you think you can learn to factor into your relationship. After all, it’s hardly an unusual revelation, and the older the singles you are connecting with, the increased likelihood there is of you coming across potential partners with ‘baggage.’
But how do you react when your other half devotes so much attention to her charges? Are you instinctively drawn towards pitching in and accepting a degree of responsibility? Or are you consumed with negative emotions, especially jealousy?
What drives you, familiarity or spontaneity?
People approach online dating from a variety of angles. If you’re merely looking for ‘no-strings-attached’ encounters, then there are dedicated sites you can refer to.
Other outlets cater to those with longer-term aspirations.
But where do you fit in this spectrum? If you’re only seeking instant gratification, then the presence of children in your partner’s life can easily be put to one side. You’re under no obligation to make any commitment. However, if you find yourself falling for them, you’ll need to make some serious decisions about how you’re going to assume the mantle of a step-parent.
Can you control your emotions?
How impetuous are you? If you’re the type of person who allows their heart to rule their head, then you might not be cut out for a relationship with a single parent as your counterparts who think the other way round. Those with a more pragmatic outlook can be so much more mature when it comes to making allowances when a brand new dynamic enters their lives, especially their love lives.
The bottom line – do you even like kids?
Here’s the litmus test. How do you cope when you’re in the company of kids if you have nieces or nephews, or your friends’ or neighbors’ offspring?
Are you comfortable with the mood changes, from excitable and euphoric to what seems like unfathomably disproportionate responses to pain, tiredness or frustration? When kids have temper tantrums or start whining, do you naturally empathize, or secretly wish you possessed a magical ‘mute button?’
These are basic decisions, but if you’re not to embrace the joys of parenthood, it’s only your loss. (Additional Read: 11 Reasons Why The Perfect Marriage Doesn’t Exist)