6 Ways to Strengthen Your Marriage in 2020


restore intimacy in marriage Middle Class Dad woman in a wedding dress and a man in a blue suit sitting on a dock with a city in the distance on the other side of the water

We are approaching the tail end of 2020, and this has been a tough year for many of us. Looking at the news, you’ll see stories about the pandemic, political scandals, the out-of-control wildfires, and social injustice. It’s no wonder that many Americans report being on edge.

If you’re married, then you know what the phrase “for better or worse” means. It signifies that you and your spouse have to be there for each other not only through your trials and tribulations but also when everything around you seems out of control.

Perhaps 2020 has tested your relationship’s limits. If you and your spouse aren’t quite seeing eye to eye at the moment, here are ways you can reconnect with one another.

Spend Less Time on Your Phones

When you’re at home together, one thing that you and your spouse can do is spend less time on your smartphones. Reports indicate that the average American spends as long as five hours every day on their phone. That’s because there are so many things you can do with a smartphone these days.

You can:

  • Watch movies or TV shows
  • Check your email
  • Text with your family and friends

When you’re sitting at home with your spouse after work in the evenings, it’s easy for your smartphones to suck you in so that you don’t acknowledge one another. You’re physically together, yet you’re also apart.

You can reconnect by putting the phones down and talking to one another. You can speak about frivolous matters or serious ones, whichever feels better for you. By talking about what’s going on in each of your lives, you’ll feel more in tune.

You Can Meditate Together

In a stressful year, many individuals are turning to meditation. It’s a way to:

  • Clear your mind
  • Center yourself
  • Take stock of your physical condition

However, while some people meditate as a solo activity, you can also do it with your spouse. If you haven’t ever done it before, don’t worry. There are many meditation apps that you might download to your smartphone.

Many of them are free, and you can choose from among different themes. There are ones to simply relax you, while others encourage you to think about healing, amassing wealth, or many other topics.

Sitting or lying there next to each other and quieting your minds is another fine way to reconnect. In fifteen or twenty minutes per day, you can feel closer to one another.

Take a Walk Together

Part of what’s so distressing about this pandemic is that you may not be able to work out like you used to do. Perhaps you don’t feel as healthy and fit as you could be right now, especially if you’re coming off a long quarantine.

You can easily get some exercise with your spouse, though. The two of you can walk around your neighborhood or head to a public park. This is a possible alternative to working out in the gym if there are no open ones near you yet.

As you’re walking, you can talk about whatever is on your mind, or spend that time in companionable silence. Like meditation, it’s something that you can do together without staring at a screen.

You can do this every day or several times per week. You’ll burn off some calories and enjoy the cool fall weather before winter arrives.

You Can Cook Together

You might also wish to engage in an ambitious cooking project together. Maybe one of you is the family chef, and the other doesn’t cook as much. You might take the time to teach your spouse one of your favorite recipes or learn one of theirs.

If neither of you cooks very often, then now might be a fun time to learn a few new basic recipes together. You do not have to be a master chef to learn some cooking fundamentals, especially now, when you can watch so many videos on YouTube and elsewhere.

There are simple meat, fish, or pasta dishes that require very little expertise. You can put a little music on, open a bottle of wine, and have some fun in the kitchen together. It’s like an arts-and-crafts project where you can eat the results.

Cuddle

Many studies have shown how animals benefit from physical contact. That is why those who get it grow up better adjusted, while those who don’t get it don’t fare as well.

This is certainly true with humans. Maybe you’re already very affectionate with your spouse, and if you are, then that’s great. Perhaps you have fallen out of the habit of snuggling up together.

As we progress into autumn and the nights get chilly in some parts of the country, that’s a great excuse to sit on the couch under a blanket with your spouse. In a time when Covid-19 concerns abound, and there are other rampant problems, simply being next to each other can be a balm for both of you.

Talk About What You’re Feeling

You can also just sit or lie in bed in the evenings after work with your spouse and touch base about what’s happening with each of you. The reason some couples don’t work out, in the long run, is because they no longer communicate.

Communication is unquestionably the key for a long and happy marriage. Conversely, if you don’t stay in touch with the other person, you can drift apart.

At such a challenging time as this, it’s more vital than ever to have open communication lines. Rather than expensive therapy, you can talk with each other about anything troubling you.

You ought to be able to tell your spouse anything. They should be the one person who is never judgmental and who you can use as a sounding board when you have a problem.

By doing all of these things, you should reconnect meaningfully with your spouse, and perhaps you can rekindle or reinforce the love you have for each other.

Jeff Campbell

Jeff Campbell is a husband, father, martial artist, budget-master, Disney-addict, musician, and recovering foodie having spent over 2 decades as a leader for Whole Foods Market. Click to learn more about me

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