When two people decide to share their lives committed to loving each other, it’s only natural for that couple to yearn for children to love and raise. Unfortunately, there are certain situations that prevent loving couples from having children together. Some potential parents may have medical reasons why they can’t conceive.
Others may be part of the LGBTQ community and unable to grow their family without the help of surrogacy.
You may have always envisioned being a parent but has your partner? Before even thinking about trying to grow your family, you need to have open and honest communication with your spouse. Making sure you are both up for parenthood and what it entails is essential before you even consider going any further.
Once you know you are emotionally, financially, and mentally prepared to bring children into your relationship, understand there are countless other things you will have to be open and honest about with your partner. Will one of you be a stay-at-home parent?
If so, do you have an idea if it’ll be until your child goes to school or longer? When your surrogate is carrying your baby, do you want to know the gender before it is born?
If you agree you do, a gender blood test, will give you a head start on picking baby clothes to buy and how to decorate the nursery.
What Is Surrogacy?
Surrogacy is the process of a woman carrying a child for another couple. There are two types of surrogacy: gestational carrier and traditional surrogate. A gestational carrier, which is the most common process, is when the fertilized egg is implanted into the surrogate via IVF (in vitro fertilization). Either or both the sperm and or egg can be from a donor or the intended father/mother.
The other and less common method is using a traditional surrogate.
In this process, the surrogate mother uses her own egg to carry the child for the intended parents. Using this method makes the surrogate the biological mother of the child and can be a very emotional and confusing time for both her and the intended couple. Although this method can work out without any issues, there is the possibility of complex legal and emotional issues.
Because of the potential complexity involved, many states have actually outlawed this form of surrogacy.
It is always best to make sure everyone understands the expectations of growing your family through the use of a surrogate. At the very least, make sure you have all of the details outlined in a contract that both you and the intended carrier agree to and sign.
A preconception agreement, executed by a lawyer, will outline important facts about the doctor treating the surrogate mother.
This will also include which information should be shared with the other parties and which should be kept confidential. Having such a legal document is especially important if the intended carrier of the child knows or has a personal relationship with the intended parents.
Psychological Well Being
Having a child is an emotional rollercoaster for anyone.
Using a surrogate to grow your family can come with additional crossroads. Most can be avoided or dealt with in a healthy way by meeting with well-trained professionals that can counsel you on what to expect and how to best be prepared for your new journey.
More often than not, surrogacy is a beautiful process that helps families have children who otherwise would not be able to. Make sure you have a team of professionals working with you to make sure potential issues are dealt with in a mutually agreed manner.