Skip to Content

Why Does My Daughter Keep Cutting Her Hair?

By: Author Jeff Campbell

Posted on Last updated:

Categories Parenting

It’s not unusual for parents and kids to have disagreements over clothing and appearances. But if your daughter comes down ready for school having obviously given herself a haircut, you may have asked, why does my daughter keep cutting her hair?

One way that girls like to express themselves is through experimenting with different hairstyles. This may include last-minute unannounced haircuts. It may be in response to what her friends are doing or something she’s seen on social media.

This isn’t necessarily something to worry about and should be approached with some flexibility.

Allowing children to have some amount of control over the small things will prepare them to make good decisions down the line. And hair? It grows back.

But that’s not all there is to talk about.

In this post, we’ll discuss reasons why your daughter may cut her hair out of the blue. It is usually just a form of self-expression and nothing to worry about.

Think your daughter’s hair cutting is a sign of a bigger problem?

While impromptu haircuts are somewhat normal behavior in tweens and teens it can be a sign of a much bigger issue.

Luckily the folks over at TeenCounseling work with thousands of kids just like yours and mine.

Get matched with licensed therapists who specialize in working with teens. Let them know of the issues and signs you’re seeing. Once you approve, you connect them with your child for online therapy they can access right on a smartphone or computer.

And, of course, they’ll let you know if they sense anything serious.

CLICK HERE to check out TeenCounseling and see if it might be worth considering for your family’s peace of mind!

What does it mean when a girl cuts her hair?

Girls cut their hair for a variety of reasons. Rebellion, current trends, or just wanting to try something different or figure out who she really is.

When your daughter leaves the house, leaving not quite the way you hoped, remind yourself that she is figuring out who she is. She is a tween or teen. The fact that she wants to make decisions for herself is a good thing!

Your daughter is her own person.

She has her own opinions and ideas. She is figuring out her identity. This is a natural part of growing up – trying new things, figuring out your likes and dislikes. Not just about your personal appearance, but about life in general.

By allowing her to cut her hair, you are also teaching her to build confidence. She may discover that she is really good at styling her hair in fun, trendy ways.

After-school programs that encourage kids to work through challenging situations are another way to build your daughter’s confidence.

After-school programs like martial arts, team sports, dance, theatre, or something similar can be a huge confidence booster for kids of all ages.

The most important thing to look for in these programs is a teacher or coach that inspires and motivates your daughter. You don’t want a coach that is going to yell and belittle.

To read more about confidence-building activities for kids, read this recent article.

Just click the link to read it on my site.

At what age should a girl start doing her own hair?

Most girls can start helping style their hair between 6-8 years old. They should independently be able to style their hair somewhere between 10-12 years old. 

There is no “right” age for girls to start styling their own hair.

It really depends on the child, but it should progress naturally. First, she’ll start to show an interest in doing it herself. She should learn how to manage the brush and how to detangle her hair.

The best way to gain a skill is through practice.

Getting a doll with long hair that can be brushed and styled is a great way to practice. At first, her styles will probably be messy. Even ponytails will need some readjustment by an observant parent.

But it is a good idea to let her try it first. Help her out if she asks you, and give her lots of positive feedback.

Let her keep styling her hair at first with your help.

She’ll get the hang of it soon enough. As she gains confidence, she can start to experiment with different styles. You may have to bite your tongue as she will inevitably start to choose styles you wouldn’t, but just hang in there.

Should I let my kid cut her hair?

It can be hard as a parent to relinquish control to our kids. But allowing your daughter to make small decisions now, such as trimming or dyeing her hair, will strengthen your relationship in the long run.

Let your daughter cut her hair how she wants it.

You can take her somewhere for a cut, you can cut it for her, or you can even let her do it herself. Keep yourself available to even it out if she wants or needs your help.

It grows back.

You can certainly talk to her about it. Ask her why she wants to cut it and give her some guidelines you’re comfortable with. For example, wait until after the big family event coming up, especially if she wants to make some sort of drastic change, like dying it purple and shaving one side of her head.

If you let her do this, and she hates it, she won’t do it again.

It’ll grow back, and maybe next time, she’ll pick something that you both like. If she loves it, then she’ll be happy and feel good about herself and how she looks.

By allowing your daughter to make small decisions, while still setting boundaries, you are engaging in an authoritative parenting style that will allow your daughter to become securely attached to you.

What was that, you ask?

I know it sounds confusing, but there are different parenting styles that psychologists have researched over the years. Check out this recent article where I take a deep dive into different parenting and attachment styles.

Just click the link to read more on my site.

Should teenage girls have short hair?

There is no reason for teenage girls not to have short hair. Especially if that’s what she wants. Chances are, over the course of her teen years, she will experiment with many different looks for her hair.

Short haircuts are easy to maintain. They can be styled to make them look nice for a special occasion. They are great for those days when she wakes up for school, too.

They don’t get tangled or unruly like very long hair, either. This makes them ideal for teens and tweens.

But it could also be a sign of something bigger like a gender identity issue. If that’s the case, look for other signs so you can learn how to navigate the challenges that come with that.

While it may be tempting to chop all of your daughter’s hair off because it is too long and unmanageable, don’t do it. A minor trim for damaged or split ends is okay, but you shouldn’t force her to cut it short if she doesn’t want it that way.

Your daughter may have her reasons for wanting her hair long, and that’s okay. To read more about why you shouldn’t force your daughter to cut her hair, check out this recent article. As a parent, we have to choose our battles carefully, and not make every choice a battle.

Just click the link to read it on my site.

Do teenage girls cut their own hair out of anxiety?

Typically, girls cut their hair because they are just experimenting. Sometimes it will follow after a hard breakup, but usually, it is not related to anxiety.

Experimenting with different hairstyles is an entirely normal part of growing up. She will experiment with different cuts and, sometimes, unusual colors. The good news is that hair will always grow back.

Haircuts do not cause any long-term pain or damage.

Anxiety is a natural emotion that everyone experiences in some form or another. It is usually manageable. But if you notice that your daughter is hurting herself physically, interfering with attendance and academic performance, or affecting relationships, it is worth seeking professional help.

Kids will often encounter some type of anxiety in their lives.

Sometimes it’s not very serious, but sometimes it can be an actual anxiety disorder.

To read more about anxiety in teens, read this recent article.

Just click the link to read it on my site.

Final Thoughts

Experimenting with your hair and personal appearance as a teen is how we figure out who we are. It’s also how we figure out what we’re capable of.

Fighting about hair could cause resentment and damage the relationship between you and your daughter.

By letting her make the small decisions, she’ll be more likely to come to you with the larger, more important decisions later.

Think your daughter’s hair cutting is a sign of a bigger problem?

While impromptu haircuts are somewhat normal behavior in tweens and teens it can be a sign of a much bigger issue.

Luckily the folks over at TeenCounseling work with thousands of kids just like yours and mine.

Get matched with licensed therapists who specialize in working with teens. Let them know of the issues and signs you’re seeing. Once you approve, you connect them with your child for online therapy they can access right on a smartphone or computer.

And, of course, they’ll let you know if they sense anything serious.

CLICK HERE to check out TeenCounseling and see if it might be worth considering for your family’s peace of mind!

Of course, while I am a parent to 3 daughters, 2 of whom are teenagers, I am not a doctor or mental health professional and not qualified to diagnose or suggest mental health treatments or suggest whether something is or is not a sign of anxiety or other issues. If you think your daughter needs professional help, you should seek out a qualified professional in your area.

 


 

 

Jeff Campbell
Latest posts by Jeff Campbell (see all)