Who Makes the Best Candidates for Surrogate Mothers?


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If you are pursuing surrogacy, choosing the right surrogate mother is of utmost importance. Which people make the best surrogate mothers? Find out.

Considering a surrogate mother to carry your child can give you so much hope. After struggling with infertility, having the option to raise your own child is a relief and a joy.

Before you get started, though, you have to find a surrogate mother. The big question of who would be a good candidate is a tricky one to answer. Here are some typical traits of surrogate mothers that are important to look for as you work toward completing your family.

Communicates Willingly

Finding a surrogate mother who is great at communication will really strengthen your relationship with her.

It’s important for the surrogacy agency to communicate well with her and with you, just as it’s important to cultivate healthy communication between you and your baby’s surrogate mother. This open communication helps you feel involved and eases the transition.

Understands Emotional Bonds

Women who understand the emotional bonds and transfers that surrogates and the intended parents go through are good choices for surrogate mothers.

The baby will hear the surrogate’s voice a lot during pregnancy, so it will be harder for the baby to recognize the intended parents’ voices. An ideal surrogate is willing to go through the extra steps for the baby to hear the intended parents’ voices.

One way to accomplish this is to play tapes of the intended parents talking or singing. They can even attend appointments with the surrogates and spend time in person talking to the baby in utero. This helps the baby recognize and acclimate to their voices.

Surrogates welcome the baby immediately after birth, but soon after, hand the baby to the intended parents for skin-on-skin time. There is a lot of emotion involved, and a surrogate who prepares for this is ideal.

Meets Requirements for Surrogate Mothers

Many agencies have stringent requirements that their applicants have to meet to become a surrogate mother. Your surrogate mother has to live in a state where it’s legal. Some states, like Michigan and Louisiana, don’t allow surrogacy yet.

It’s usually a requirement that the woman already has children of her own. One reason is that you know she’s likely fertile. Another reason is that she grasps what giving a baby to someone else would mean, emotionally and psychologically.

Mothers must be in good health, as well as have insurance and live near a hospital that can provide NICU treatment (usually level 2 or better) in case of emergency.

Has a Family Open to Surrogacy

A surrogate mother must have a family that’s open to her carrying a surrogate child. Her husband or partner must be okay with the decision because it’s not something she can hide for nine months.

Often surrogate mothers have a background of surrogacy in their families, too. Their mothers, aunts, or cousins may have carried surrogate babies, so they understand the implications more than most. They’re also prepared to give the ultimate gift to an infertile couple.

A Lifetime Commitment

Deciding to become a parent is a lifetime commitment that brings amazing results.

As you consider surrogate mothers to carry your child, look for characteristics like those above to help you choose. The right woman will mean a joyful nine months for you and your partner.

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Jeff Campbell

Jeff Campbell is a husband, father, martial artist, budget-master, Disney-addict, musician, and recovering foodie having spent over 2 decades as a leader for Whole Foods Market. Click to learn more about me

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