Well Being

The best mental health tips and mindset tips to improve your outlook and get you out of a funk and get back in the game of life.

11 Ultimate Ways to Improve Your Life You Probably Didn’t Know

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man on the top of a mountain with arms outstretched with a cloudy sky and sun peaking through behind him Middle Class Dad Improve Your Life

Do you want to improve your life before you die?

You want to improve your life before you die.

To leave this world and your loved ones in a better place. To enjoy the ride more and maybe even extend the ride.

But what do you want to accomplish in life?  What are your goals and dreams?  Maybe you have New Year’s Resolutions you’ve yet to hit or procrastinate on year after year?

Chances are some if not all of that resonates with you.

Of course, it goes without saying that kicking bad habits like smoking would be on the list. But what are the best ways to improve your life and live your dreams? In this post, we’re going to explore some surprisingly simple, yet powerful tips to improve your life.

What are your dreams for yourself and your family?

Before we just randomly set goals for ourselves let’s dream in color!  You see goals are a dry, often boring list of things on a piece of paper.  Sure we want to accomplish them. And they would make our life better.  But they aren’t exciting.  They don’t motivate us.

Thus many times we fail to achieve things we aren’t excited about.

But when we visualize our dreams we get emotional!  When we can see, feel and touch what our life would look like, THAT’S when we get fired up and start to make things happen.

That’s when you can improve your life.


So I want you to visualize your dreams.  Be specific.  Make it something you can measure.  If it seems too lofty or impossible, just break it down into a series of small steps.

Almost any goal or dream can be broken down into baby steps.  When we baby step, we don’t get paralyzed by fear of failure. We don’t procrastinate. Analysis paralysis can stop you cold.

But break down that seemingly impossible goal into 10 steps over a 1, 5 or even 10-year period and you can achieve almost anything!

What’s the one thing we all wish we could leave in the past and forget?

black and white picture of a toddler girl who looks sad Middle Class Dad Improve Your Life

We can’t talk about how to improve your life without addressing letting go of the past.

We all have baggage from the past. It affects us in the present and we don’t want it negatively impacting our future.

Whether it’s childhood trauma, neglect or abuse or something from adulthood, we all need to let go of that one thing that’s holding us back.

These things can damage our relationship with our spouse and kids.  It can hamper our careers and bring out bad habits.  We must acknowledge, heal and leave these things behind.

We’ll never forget these traumatic incidents, but we don’t have to be controlled by them.

How to move forward and heal the pains of the past

To heal emotionally from past damage we have to:

  1. Acknowledge the issue/incident
  2. Accept that it happened (accept does not necessarily mean we have to understand why)
  3. Own whatever role we played in it (not applicable if you suffered abuse as a child obviously)

A psychotherapist is a great way to help move through these stages, get some clarity in your thoughts.  They can also be a great way to let go of anger, pain, and disappointment without having to worry about being judged or about hurting other’s feelings.

How to get motivated to actually make changes

As I said above in talking about the difference between a dream and a goal, we get fired up to make changes when we get emotionally invested.

For me, I want to get to a place where I’m no longer trading my time for money.  A place where I work hard, but when, where and how I want to.  I want to spend more time with my wife and kids; even more so now that I have a 3rd child on the way.

Becoming a dad again motivates me! 

If I just said “make more money” on a list, that’s not very exciting.  But working on a laptop by a pool my kids are swimming in?  THAT motivates me!

Why do most people fail to get new habits to stick?

Just saying “I want to be a millionaire” is too vague and too lofty.  But visualizing yourself a millionaire in retirement, working when, where and how you want to on a laptop in Costa Rica starts to get specific!

Then you can start to baby step your way to that goal.


Let’s break down that goal to be a millionaire into baby steps.

If you’re 35, simply start to invest 15% of your income each month into a Roth IRA.  Even if you max out your $5,500/year contribution, if you’re married, your spouse can do the same.

Just that one decision will get you almost $870,000 if you retire at age 67.  If that’s not quite 15% of your income, just put the rest in a regular IRA and you should be well on your way to being a millionaire!  Calculated using a calculator courtesy of MoneyChimp.

Need help with your financial goals?  My most loved post is called 11 Proven Keys to Financial Success & Living Your Dreams! and it’s well worth taking a minute to check it out!

So what are my . . .

11 Ultimate Ways to Improve Your Life You Probably Didn’t Know?

black and white picture of a lightbulb Middle Class Dad Improve Your Life

1. DON’T LET THE PAST CONTROL YOUR FUTURE

We all have a past.  Things we’ve done to others.  Or bad things that have been done to us.  We can’t change the past. In fact, the ONLY thing you can change is yourself; your attitude, actions, and reactions.

Thus when we don’t allow ourselves to heal from past things then we allow the past to control our present and our future.  Want to improve your life?  We have to find a way to heal past trauma so it no longer controls us.

See my 11 Powerful Tips to Let Go of the Past & Move Forward if you need help here.

2. SET REALISTIC GOALS FOR EACH DAY

You know what happened to the guy with 20 things on his daily to-do list? He either didn’t accomplish most of them, got discouraged and didn’t even try or procrastinated and moved them to another day.

Repeat.

You need to be intentional with your day and time.  Set goals.  But be realistic.  You may well have 20 things you want to get done.  But prioritize them.  Decide what MUST get done today and what would be nice to get done.

Have only 1-3 goals for each day.  Make them specific, measurable and achievable.  It’s totally OK to have other lists for the week, month and year, but be narrowly focused on your daily tasks.

3. BE GRATEFUL

Don’t focus on what you don’t have.  Don’t focus on what the neighbors have.  Be grateful for what you have and appreciate that.  It’s totally OK to set goals for what you want to achieve, but don’t make the lack of those things be a negative.

Tony Robbins has a saying. “Trade your expectations for appreciation and your whole world changes in an instant”. In other words, when we stop focusing on what we don’t have or what others aren’t doing for us and simply appreciate all we’ve been given, we experience a mindset shift. We move from a glass half empty person to a glass half full person.

You’ll be amazed how much you can improve your life from this simple outlook switch!

Tony wants to help you grow too and offers a variety of resources to help supplement your growth plan on his free tools page here https://www.tonyrobbins.com/free-tools/.

4. FOCUS ON YOUR BREATH

I know that sounds simplistic, but breath is life. Breath is how we move energy throughout our body. Breathing masters like Wim Hof can withstand the bitter cold of climbing Mount Everest only wearing shorts or fight off deadly diseases with no medicine in part, because of breath training.

Proper breath control also is a great way to identify and release stress, tension, and areas in our bodies where we are holding on to past trauma. By bringing awareness to the breath we can begin to focus our breath to specific parts of the body as needed. You will find balance, less stress, a calmer demeanor and increased awareness of both your body and the world at large.

5. DRINK MORE WATER

According to a recent study by the CDC, on average, men and women both tend to drink about a quart of plain water each day. While their total water intake was much higher than that, the vast majority was coming from other foods and liquids containing water.

According to the Mayo Clinic, Men should drink about 3 liters of plain water per day and women a little over 2 liters. Personally, I try and drink 1 gallon per day, starting first thing in the morning and ceasing a few hours before bedtime.

Want to improve your life? Drink a lot of plain water; ideally, spring water that doesn’t have minerals or fluoride added to it; you only want what nature put in it to begin with.

One of the best ways to consume water is having a high-quality water filter at home where you can have an endless supply of water, refilling your water bottle and not contributing to the overproduction of plastic water bottles.

The ZIP Countertop Reverse Osmosis Water Filter is one of the best units on the market. It not only purifies tap water, but it also removes up to 99% of not only chlorine, heavy metals and other contaminants but also fluoride as well, which most water filters don’t remove. It also alkalizes the water increasing the health benefits for your body.

6. PUT DOWN TECHNOLOGY

I know there’s a certain irony in my saying that on a blog that you’re likely reading on a smartphone or desktop computer. We live in a tech-heavy world and there’s probably no coming back from that. BUT that doesn’t mean we have to be slaves to our devices.

Have set times throughout the day where you check email or Facebook.  Don’t just hold the phone in your hand constantly scanning those things. Be intentional about how, when and where you use technology, but don’t let it consume your day.

Think you might have a problem? Check out my 9 Signs of Cell Phone Addiction!

7. GET OUTSIDE

Physical exertion, fresh air, and sunlight all play KEY roles in our mental health, our physical body, overall wellness and our mood. Show me someone bitter & unhappy and I’ll show you someone who likely doesn’t exercise or get outside much.

A recent study from the National Institutes of Health found that “outdoor activities reduced symptoms (of ADHD) significantly”.  That ties in perfectly to my own post on how the outdoors and play are natural medication for children with ADHD.

Want to be more relaxed, less stressed, happier and well on your way to improve your life? Spend time outside regularly.

8. STOP COMPARING YOURSELF

To quote Dr. Seuss, “There is no one alive who is Youer than You.” Sure there may be others who are more fit, drive nicer cars or have better-paying jobs. But if you spend any amount of time feeling bad about yourself & feeling envy towards them all you’re doing is programming your mind to be unhappy.

Now don’t get me wrong. If you want a better car or job or want to lose weight, go for it! But don’t do it out of guilt, shame or because you want someone else to like you better. Do it for you!

Rachel Cruze, daughter of personal finance guru Dave Ramsey, has an excellent book on this subject called Love Your Life, Not Theirs. If you struggle with comparing yourself to others, I highly recommend that book!

9. STAY AWAY FROM DRAMA AND GOSSIP

Is there anything in this world that serves no purpose, takes up so much time and causes so much strife? I doubt it.  Maybe politics. We all have those friends who love to gossip by the water cooler at work. They are always seemingly in the know about who’s life crisis or actions at the company party were worse.

Let’s be honest. Almost all of us have participated in these conversations at one time or another. I don’t want you to be rude to anyone, but if you want to improve your life, distancing yourself from negativity, drama and gossip are crucial. Which brings me to my next point . . .

10. MINIMIZE OR ELIMINATE THE NEGATIVE PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE

We can’t make anyone happy but ourselves. But sometimes we find friends, family members or loved ones who are broken, damaged or otherwise unhappy. It’s easy to feel empathy for them and not uncommon for us to want to “fix” them.

Often these relationships end up based not on mutual love and respect but on a co-dependent need; the fixer and the fixee. If the “negative” person isn’t actively seeking to better themselves and their situation, it can easily devolve into them bringing us down to their level rather than them rising up to meet us.

Want more on this? Check out my post on how Toxic People Sabotage Happiness

11. GET PHYSICAL

This ties in with my above comment about getting outside. But when we move, be it exercise, dance, yoga or sports, a number of great things happen.

According to the CDC, all of the following are direct benefits from us finding healthy ways of movement:

  1. Control weight
  2. Reduce the risk of disease
  3. Improve strength
  4. Improve mental health and mood
  5. Live longer

I don’t care if you hit the gym, but find healthy ways to move and do it often.  I practice martial arts about 3 times a week. For me, that resonates with who I am and want to be.

But even if it’s just a morning walk with your dogs or kids; it will improve your life.

Did we cover everything you wanted to know about how to improve your life?

In this post, we walked through some simple, yet actionable tips to really make a difference in your life. Tips you can put in place today for a better tomorrow. We only get one shot at this life, so we owe it to ourselves and our family to live life to the fullest. I know these tips will improve your life just as they have mine.

If you like this post, please consider sharing on Facebook, because if it helped you, it just might help someone else!

Middle Class Dad is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com. As an Amazon Associate, I may earn a small commission from qualifying purchases if you click to Amazon from my site and choose to make a purchase. This is no way increases the cost to you.

19 Worst Ways the Traits of a Negative Toxic Person Hurt You

by
bottle of poison on a wooden table the traits of a negative toxic person Middle Class Dad

Negative people drain us of our time, energy, and positive attitude, and we all have them in our lives. So I wondered exactly what the traits of a toxic negative person are.

Toxic people are manipulative, negative, & judgemental. But they also see themselves as a victim and rarely take ownership and responsibility for their actions, choices & the state of their life. Even if you come to them needing support, they will always bring the conversation back to themselves and their problems.

But you and I don’t have to just accept that this is how it is! We can set boundaries in a clear and loving way, even if this person is a close family member or friend.

You can get the sanity back in your life.

So, in this post, we’re looking specifically at the worst ways the traits of a negative toxic person hurt us.

More importantly, though, we’re looking at solutions on how to deal with these people and set clear boundaries to minimize the negative effect they have on us.

bottle of poison on a wooden table the traits of a negative toxic person Middle Class Dad

What is a negative person?

You know who I’m talking about in your life.

Everyone has toxic people connected to them.  That friend, co-worker, loved one or family member who constantly takes more than they give.

They remind you of Eeyore (as in Winnie the Pooh).

Toxic people drain your energy.  You dread being around them (at least some of the time). But you keep them in your life hoping they will change or somehow get their act together. Or maybe they are family and you feel like you have no choice.

These toxic people may have some (or all) of the following attributes:

  1. They spread malicious gossip
  2. They are always in a crisis in their life
  3. Their glass is always half empty (as opposed to half full)
  4. They talk more than they listen
  5. You’re always there for them but they are rarely there for you
  6. They seem to be clueless as to how others perceive them
  7. Everything wrong in their life is always someone else’s fault


Toxic person traits sap our time, our energy.

No matter how much time we spend with them, nothing ever changes for the better.  The advice you give never gets heeded.  No solutions to their problems ever stick. In the end, the traits of a negative toxic person are seemingly stuck in a never-ending cycle.

It’s like the movie Groundhog Day.  Toxic people wake up tomorrow and start the cycle all over again.

Want to know the key differences between Successful People and Unsuccessful People?

I review those incredibly important traits in a much-shared post. Whether you’re wanting help yourself or someone else, I highly recommend you take A moment and check that out.

Just click that link to read it on my site.

What is a toxic person?

brunette woman wearing a gas mask

Well after what I said above, toxic personalities signs should be a whole lot more obvious now.

Who in your life is always complaining?  Who is always calling or texting about some new crisis that’s happening? Or maybe they are constantly posting on Facebook about some new disaster in their life.

Toxic people don’t really want your advice.  But they do want your time. They want you in the trenches of misery with them.

I’m not talking about the occasional grousing after a bad day. 

No; I mean who do you know for whom nothing ever goes right?  They go from job to job or relationship to relationship.  In each isolated case they make a very good argument why that boss was bad or why that partner wasn’t right.

But in the end, it becomes like the boy who cried wolf. It’s clear the only common denominator is the traits of a negative toxic person.

What if some of the toxic people in your life are family?

No doubt some of the toxic people in your life ARE family members.

I know many of you reading this know who I’m talking about in your family.  That one Uncle you dread seeing at the holidays.  Perhaps it’s even a close family member or even a parent.

At the end of the day, the traits of a negative toxic person are toxic to your happiness, state of mind and overall success in life; family or not.

Thus, it’s more important than ever if the toxic person is a family member to set boundaries.

Boundaries aren’t mean and they aren’t uncaring.  In fact, if anything, the toxic people in your life who drain your energy or possibly finances are mean and uncaring.

Repetition Compulsion is continuing to engage in an unhealthy or unsuccessful behavior over and over again expecting different results. If that sounds familiar, definitely take a moment and check out one of my most popular personal development posts on that very subject!

Maya Angelou quote the traits of a negative toxic person Middle Class Dad

Setting boundaries just mean:

  1. To be clear about what you are and are not willing to do
  2. Being firm, fair and consistent with regards to #1
  3. Not allowing yourself to be used, manipulated or enabling the toxic person’s behavior

There’s an excellent book on setting boundaries by Dr. Henry Cloud called Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life.  If you struggle with setting boundaries. Or if you have issues not enabling the traits of a negative toxic person, I highly recommend you get that book!

How do you deal with someone who is always negative?

I’m a firm believer that anyone CAN change and when it comes to dealing with a negative person, time to act is now.

Anyone can make a choice at ANY time to behave differently, change destructive habits, get in shape, etc.  Failure CAN Inspire Us to Greatness (click to read how on my site).

However, just because anyone can change their toxic person traits doesn’t mean they WILL change.

One of my friends who was high up in HR at my former employer was fond of saying, “there’s no better predictor of future behavior than past behavior”. Unfortunately, he was correct.

Thus, while the toxic person CAN improve the traits of a negative toxic person at any time, the likelihood is that they won’t. Thus, it’s important that we not get fixated on the endlessly repeating cycle of trying to fix the toxic people in our lives.


What are the characteristics of a narcissist?

I know I’m late to the party, but my wife and I just finished watching the entire run of the Showtime show Nurse Jackie on Netflix.

Without giving too much away if you haven’t seen it, Jackie (excellently portrayed by Edie Falco of Carmela Soprano fame) epitomizes the traits of a negative toxic person. She is a true narcissist and has all the worst toxic personalities signs.

Some of the key traits of someone with narcissistic personality disorder are:

  • This person believes they deserve special treatment
  • They are attention hogs
  • This person brags and exaggerates their achievements
  • They are very sensitive
  • This person rarely maintains healthy relationships

Jackie always takes more than she gives.  She routinely disappoints all who care about her. She’ll lie to anyone about anything; so much so that she probably has a hard time distinguishing lies from the truth.

Just when you think she’s about to do the right thing, sure enough, she lets you down.  But she does it so skillfully that many keep believing (falsely) that she’ll change and become the person they so desperately want her to be.

You don’t want people like that in your life. Not sure if that person in your life is truly toxic? Why not take a second to take the Pooh Pathology Test and find out!

What does it mean to be in a toxic relationship?

As I alluded to in my section above about setting boundaries, it’s vitally important for your own mental health and well being to make sure the traits of a negative toxic person aren’t destroying your life.

In many cases, the best course of action will be to cut the toxic people out of your life completely.

I know some will see that as harsh. But in reality, you can’t help these people get rid of their toxic person traits and they will take you down with them if you let them.

If you’re in a relationship with a toxic person or it’s a close family member, while you CAN still choose to cut them out of your life, many won’t want to do that.  In these cases we just need to remember:

  • You can’t fix them, so don’t try (but you can support them in genuine efforts to fix themselves)
  • Be supportive if they need support, but lending a gambler money for the 15th time is the equivalent of giving a drunk a drink; you are enabling them and you are part of the problem
  • Make sure their needs don’t come at the expense of your own
  • Set crystal clear boundaries on what you will and won’t do and be unwavering on those
  • Minimize their role in your life and your time

Therapy is also a great tool for coping and setting boundaries, especially if this person is your parent, a really close friend or a close family member.

No therapists near you or no time for it? Check out the Reasons to Choose an Online Psychiatrist.

Boundaries book banner ad the traits of a negative toxic person Middle Class Dad

So what are my . . .

19 Worst Ways the Traits of a Negative Toxic Person Hurt You?

blurring woman shaking head side to side yelling Ahhhh! the traits of a negative toxic person Middle Class Dad

1. TOXIC PEOPLE MAKE US BELIEVE THEY WILL CHANGE

We foolishly believe that if they just got the right job, met the right partner, found the right industry or borrowed money from us that one last time that somehow everything will magically come together for them.

However, this isn’t always true when it comes to negative people.

Regardless of the number of achievements they have, they will still remain to have a negative outlook on life and create negative relationships with the people around them. Toxic people are usually like this – and you, as someone who is optimistic, will always be caught in the cycle of believing that they will change (and then end up seeing yourself disappointed over and over again).

2. THEIR LACK OF REAL CHANGE IS FRUSTRATING!

While anyone CAN change at ANY time, most won’t.  Thus, the toxic people in your life are almost assuredly NOT going to magically turn around their toxic person traits when they get what they want.  You can bet that’s incredibly sad and frustrating.

The closer you are to this person, the more heartbreaking it is.

The closer you are to this person, the more heartbreaking it is. You will be expecting a lot from this person and give them one chance after the other, but you will always see yourself frustrated as nothing ever changes.

Being caught in this cycle can eventually take a toll on your mental health, and when you continue to hang around with these people, it can also become the reason why you will become toxic to others, as well. 

3. WE FEEL IT’S OUR ROLE AS FRIEND, BOSS OR LOVED ONE TO “FIX THEM”

Often we see it as our role to fix these toxic people.  Maybe it’s a family member.  Perhaps you’re the boss and it’s an employee.  It could also be a close friend.

We see it as our duty to “fix them”.  We can often see so clearly that if they just did “A, B and C”, that their lives would genuinely turn around.  (hint: they won’t do those things and you can’t fix someone)

4. WE FEEL GUILTY WHEN WE AREN’T ABLE TO FIX THEM

We do!  Even the best of us, the most level-headed, feel guilty when we aren’t actually able to fix the toxic people in our lives.

This is also the reason why regardless of how often you see yourself in the same cycle with a toxic person, you would still choose to stay or be with them because you will feel guilty the moment you decide to leave them.

However, changing or fixing a person should not be your responsibility because regardless of how you want someone to change, if they don’t put any effort into doing it, their behavior will still stay the same.

In truth, all we can do is motivate someone to improve the traits of a negative toxic person.

But they MUST be willing to acknowledge their own toxic person traits, and most simply won’t.

5. WE KEEP TRYING TO FIX THEM OR MOTIVATE THEM

You’d think we would learn our lesson, but inevitably we keep trying to fix the toxic people in our lives.  We tell ourselves that if we just do something different this time that it might work.

You have been in this cycle countless times already that you no longer notice that your own mental health or behavior is starting to get affected during the process.

6. THAT CYCLE OF TRYING TO HELP GOES ON FOR YEARS

The cycle of trying to fix these people can literally go on for years.  We try, they fail, we blame ourselves.  Repeat.

Sure, you might have memorized this entire process, but deciding to still go with it can have adverse effects on your mental health. Putting other people first (people who don’t want to change themselves) without thinking about yourself can become the reason why you will suffer from anxiety, depression, and other mental health conditions. 

7. TOXIC PEOPLE DRAIN OUR ENERGY

To say that toxic people drain our energy is a vast understatement.  The term energy vampire didn’t come about for no reason.

It’s incredibly draining to watch someone we care about go down an endless spiral of despair, especially when we keep giving of ourselves hoping to make a difference.

8. THAT ENERGY COULD GO TO PEOPLE MORE DESERVING

In truth, whether you’re talking about other friends or family and especially more reliable co-workers or employees, your time and energy can ALWAYS be focused on someone more deserving.

9. BUT WE FEEL GUILTY FOR THINKING THAT

Again with the guilt!  But we do.  Recognizing that another employee DOES show up on time, DOES show up more often and DOESN’T always have a sob story you’re forced to listen is hard.

We feel bad for acknowledging that others are more deserving of our time and energy.

10. YOU’RE HURTING THE HEALTHIER PEOPLE INVOLVED IN THIS SITUATION

When we fail to give as much of ourselves to the people in our lives who are more deserving, we are actually hurting those people.

As a general manager and leader for many years with my previous employer, I can tell you that we often spend our time and energy on those least deserving of it, thus hurting the people most deserving.

11. THOSE PEOPLE WILL EVENTUALLY LEAVE OR MINIMIZE THEIR INTERACTIONS

When we fail to recognize how much we’re hurting the good people in our lives or place of employment, especially if the toxic people are getting away with stuff everyone else couldn’t, the good people in our lives will eventually move on.

At the very least, especially in an employee situation, we are killing their motivation and ensuring they do the bare minimum.

12. THE NEVER-ENDING CYCLE OF DRAMA

The traits of a negative toxic person almost assuredly include being overly dramatic. They cause big scenes and tension among friends, family & co-workers.

13. LACK OF OWNERSHIP

These toxic people rarely admit fault and almost always look to shift blame onto others, rarely taking responsibility for their actions and statements.

14. THEY DOMINATE THE CONVERSATION

The traits of a negative toxic person also typically include dominating conversations.

We all have that one friend or co-worker who is always talking about their problems and woes. Rarely does a toxic person ever invite others to share their own frustrations in return.

It becomes a never-ending cycle of me-me-me.

15. PLAYING THE VICTIM

These toxic people also have a great tendency to play the victim.

Along with a lack of ownership, I addressed above, the toxic personalities signs also include seeing themselves as a victim of other’s actions (or inactions) or life in general.

They never actually take responsibility for the direction of their life. Because they don’t ever recognize the real problem (their own attitude), they are destined to repeatedly fail, reinforcing their view of themselves as a victim.

16. THEY ARE A TIME-SUCKING VULTURE

The traits of a negative toxic person unfortunately typically include taking up a lot of our time.

Between the one-sided conversations about how nothing ever goes right in their life to the endless drama, this person eats away at our precious time.

17. EVER-INCREASING NEGATIVITY

These people become ever-increasingly negative as life goes on.

As jobs, spouses, and friends come and go, the toxic person becomes more bitter. As they see themselves as a victim their attitude worsens and worsens. Eventually, they become a completely miserable person that’s hard to be around.

18. PARANOIA & DISHONESTY

The traits of a negative toxic person also can involve being paranoid.

They may even develop the feeling that people are out to get them. No doubt the friends and loved ones of a toxic person are talking about them. But instead of recognizing the care these people have, the toxic person begins to see them in a negative light.

Lying and dishonest behavior can definitely be part of the toxic person traits.

19. THEY LACK EMPATHY & COMPASSION

Ultimately these people are selfish.

They are unable to put themselves in anyone else’s shoes. They lack compassion and empathy for others. People begin to exit their lives due to feeling like the toxic person doesn’t really care about them or their needs.

Want a simple 30-day program to build a better you?

I’m honored at this point to recommend a book by a very good friend of mine and one of my amazing martial arts instructors, Gene Smithson.

Don’t worry; it’s not a book about martial arts. Instead, it’s a book about motivation. About changing your life. About learning how to move past the traits of a negative toxic person in your life or past.


Gene Smithson book Simple Not Easy the traits of a negative toxic person Middle Class Dad

As Gene puts it “Changing your life is not a complicated endeavor. This is not to say it is easy. We are changing from day to day. The question really is, do you want to influence the direction of that change or just allow life to happen TO you.

This training guide consists of 30 days of physical, mental and spiritual tasks.

Working through this program is a simple way to grow the discipline and confidence needed to take charge of your life. Day by day, task by task you will practice and develop the mindset, focus, and determination needed to choose and shape your life the way you envision it.”

If you know you want to change the direction of your life; to truly be the person you were meant to be and who you always knew you could be, I urge you check this book out (click to see on Amazon).

Getting to know Gene and training with Gene has transformed my life, so there’s not a doubt in my mind this book can change yours.

Final Thoughts

In short, the traits of a negative toxic person in our lives drain our time, energy, possibly money and have a negative impact on us and everyone else involved.

You can’t fix them and while they CAN change, they have to be the one driving the change.

Something has to happen to make them desperate enough to want to change. They need to hit rock bottom.

While you can help them once they get to that place, you don’t want to be dragged down to rock bottom with them in the process! Thus, it’s vitally important to set clear boundaries.  Know what you are and are not willing to do.  Have clear expectations.

If the toxic people are employees, you absolutely need to hold them accountable for their actions EXACTLY the same as you do everyone else.  If you don’t, all the good people will leave or lose respect for you.

They can CHOOSE to destroy their own life, but if they take you down with them, that’s on you, not on them.

Who are the toxic people in your life and what have you done to help them or minimize their effect on you?

Photo credits (that aren’t mine or which require attribution):
Aaahhh!!! – Augusta GA- Augusta GA by Evil Erin is licensed under CC BY 2.0

I also have to add that my opinions are my own and purely based on my own observations and years of experience and should not be construed or received as medical or mental health advice. If you need medical advice or mental health advice, please consult a professional.

Middle Class Dad is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com. As an Amazon Associate, I may earn a small commission from qualifying purchases if you click to Amazon from my site and choose to make a purchase. This is no way increases the cost to you.

9 Proven Cell Phone Addiction Symptoms You Need to Know!

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2 ladies on cell phones wearing winter clothes cell phone addiction symptoms Middle Class Dad

Looking for Cell phone addiction symptoms?

We all know someone who can’t put their phone down no matter what the circumstance.

They have them out at dinner, or while in conversation with friends.

That phone is the first thing they look at upon waking and the last thing they look at before sleep.

Whether playing games, texting family & friends or checking up on social media channels, the phone is omnipresent.

I’m talking adult cell phone addiction here although kids and screens of all sizes are certainly an issue too.

Cell phone addiction symptoms disconnect us from our family and friends. We aren’t present to what we’re doing at the moment.

In this post we’ll review the symptoms of cell phone addiction. But we’ll also look at what we can do about it if we show some or our spouse does.

It’s truly amazing that we have the tools to connect to so much and yet have become so disconnected

3 guys at a dinner table all on smartphones cell phone addiction symptoms Middle Class Dad

I avoided getting a cell phone for a long time.

In fact, I only got one when my former employer told me I had to have one.

I had just been promoted to General Manager for the first time and I was told that the boss needed to be able to reach me 24/7.

I got a flip phone (this was fall of 2000). Cell phone addiction symptoms weren’t even a concept then.

My love/hate relationship with cell phones

I guess at the time I thought they were too hoity-toity; too yuppie. The irony, of course, being that fast forward 15 years and the so-called “smart” phones we have now made that flip phone look like a rotary dial.

If you don’t know what a rotary dial phone is you’re too young for my blog.  Just kidding.

Back then, I liked being able to leave my house and just live. If anyone had tried to reach me while I was out they had to leave a voicemail on a tiny cassette tape.  I know; ancient technology compared to what we have today.

I liked being able to talk to people and connect with them. Now we just tag each other. I liked to see what I was doing with my eyes and not through the lens of my phone’s camera.

Fast forward to today and we all have smartphones. Many of us cell phone addiction symptoms too.

According to the Pew Research Center, about 64% of Americans own a smartphone and that study is almost 2 years old!

At the time of the study, their findings concluded that the ownership of smartphones had increased 35% over the previous 4 years. So if that trend held true, that puts the current number at over 75% now.

Guess what? That’s about 244 million smartphone owners in the US!

A lot of potential cell phone addiction symptoms!

What do you call a person who is addicted to their phone?

Nomophobia is the fear of losing one’s cell phone.  No, I’m not making that up! It essentially stands for NoMo(bile) phone. The term was coined in the UK in 2010.

Nomophobia might sound silly, but for those in the throws of cell phone addiction symptoms, the effects can become deadly!

A recent study by the National Institutes of Health found that “a total of 24.12% of the students were found to be nomophobic and at risk of being nomophobes were 40.97%.”

Specifically, this study was looking at college students.  They went on to say “students showed an alarming indication that students have been addicted to the mobile phone which in turn affect their academic performance in a negative way.”

What are the symptoms of nomophobia?

The symptoms of nomophobia may include:

  • Panic attacks
  • Dizziness
  • Shortness of breath or Chest pain
  • Nausea
  • Sweating
  • Rapid heartbeat

What is addiction to mobile phones?

guy texting and driving wearing a hoodie and baseball cap cell phone addiction symptoms Middle Class Dad

While not the same as drugs or alcohol, we can certainly look at the textbook definition of addiction and see how it might apply to cell phone addiction.

According to the Mayo Clinic, some attributes of addiction as it applies here would include:

  1. Not meeting obligations and work responsibilities (or cutting back on social or recreational activities)
  2. Driving or doing other risky activities (when using your phone)
  3. Focusing more and more time and energy (when using your phone)
  4. Failing in your attempts to stop (or cut back when using your phone)
  5. Lack of awareness or inattention to surrounding people and things

Does any of that sound familiar?

Sounds and notifications – the soundtrack of cell phone addiction symptoms!

Notifications drive me crazy.

The constant beeping, vibrating or other noises disturbs my concentration (whether it’s my phone or someone else’s).

Even more mind numbing is the sense of urgency with which many of us strive to act on these notifications.

Going back to my story above from 15 years ago before I had a cell phone, there was no urgency.  You called, left me a message and when I got home I heard it and called you back.

End of story.  If I got in late, I called you back the next day.

Now we feel the desire to respond instantly.  Many of us get insecure when someone doesn’t respond instantly to a message we sent them! (been there, done that).

In short; this is crazy behavior, and I’m speaking from personal experience.

Ironically many of us see smartphones as a way to stay connected with each other.

Yet all one need do is look around in social settings and see the mindless hoards all staring down at their cell phones instead of talking with each other to realize just how truly disconnected we’ve become.


How can I stop using my phone?

There are a great many public figures I admire, quote from, link to, etc, but among those is a guy named Prince Ea.  He’s part poet, part prophet and an all-around visionary artist with a lot to say about our world.

His message can best be broken down as “be balanced, be mindful, be present, be here”.

Prince Ea has a great video on the topic of electronic devices and their proper role in our society and if you have 3 minutes to spare, I highly recommend you take a look.

How many hours a week do you spend on your phone?

Now don’t get me wrong. I have a smartphone (android) and I use it daily.

After all, the glorious job of blog-master does require me to spend some decent time on social media channels. Often (but not always), that is by way of my phone.

I tweet, pin and post to my heart’s content. I text my wife and co-workers. I’ll check my home email, work email and blog email.

Maybe I’ll Google some rare bit of music trivia or look something up on Amazon. There’s a lot I can do on my phone and so I do!

Dr. Michio Kaku has been quoted as saying “Today, your cell phone has more computer power than all of NASA back in 1969, when it placed two astronauts on the moon.”

It’s true, most of us possess amazing power that fits snugly into our back pocket.

But as Uncle Ben once warned Peter Parker, “with great power comes great responsibility”.


Meaning that while we can do amazing things in a matter of seconds with our phones, we have a responsibility to use them wisely; for the greater good.

Becoming addicted to your smartphone nullifies all that power because it turns us into insensitive, mindless automatons with bad manners.

How can I stop using my phone?

The good news is we can all take steps today to curb our technology addiction.

We can make a choice at any time to not be a slave to our cell phone addiction symptoms. We can set the phone down. You can make a choice to turn the ringer off, leave it at home or schedule technology time for yourself and your kids.
Wondering How Much is Too Much Screen Time for Kids? Check out one of my most popular parenting posts where I walk you step by step through the process of answering just that question!

In my house, we have technology free Sundays where we all strive to stay off all forms of technology. We also have strict limits for screen time for our daughters the rest of the week.

Sadly we have some work to do for us parents!

Personally, I try and do the following to curb cell phone addiction:

  • I rarely, if ever, take my phone to bed
  • Turn the ringer off at work, at church and other similar places
  • While I might do a Facebook check-in at a restaurant or occasionally take a great picture of my family, I otherwise don’t take my phone out at the dinner table
  • If I am on my phone and approached by someone I set my phone aside so I can focus on the person
  • If in the above scenario, I am doing something truly urgent, I will say to the person ” let me finish this real quick so I can focus on what you’re saying”

Other good solutions would be to reduce the number of apps on your phone; social media apps in particular.  Have a set time every day on a desktop when you check your Facebook, Twitter, etc and leave it at that.

So what are my . . . 

9 Proven Cell Phone Addiction Symptoms You Need to Know?

  1. You look at your phone within 5 minutes of waking up (outside of an alarm clock)

  2. Telling your spouse or significant other you love them more through text than in person

  3. You use your phone at the dinner table throughout the meal

  4. Answering your phone, playing games or returning texts when in the middle of conversations with others

  5. Bringing your phone with you everywhere you go

  6. Feeling compelled to return texts instantly no matter what you are doing

  7. Texting, gaming or checking social media while driving

  8. Being on your phone more than 15 minutes at a time (not counting actual calls or work-related usage)

  9. Forgetting your phone and turning around to go get it even if it makes you late for work or wherever you were going

Do you have cell phone addiction symptoms? Does your spouse?

In this post, we looked at some troubling cell phone addiction symptoms and statistics. We explored just how damaging and disconnecting the ever-present use of smartphones can be.

Most importantly we looked at some simple ways to curb that behavior in ourselves or help our spouse.

Feel free to comment here or email me with any questions as I am here to help!

If you like this post, please consider sharing on Facebook, because if it helped you, it just might help someone else!

Facebook share button cell phone addiction symptoms Middle Class Dad

Middle Class Dad is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com. As an Amazon Associate, I may earn a small commission from qualifying purchases if you click to Amazon from my site and choose to make a purchase. This is no way increases the cost to you.

Photo credits (that aren’t mine):
2 Phone Ladies – https://www.flickr.com/photos/fsadykov/
Table of phone guys – https://www.flickr.com/photos/symic/
Texting driver – https://www.flickr.com/photos/rvp-cw/

 

7 Top Fatherhood Challenges and Solutions for Your Family

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fatherhood challenges middle class dad father and daughter walking

Are you a Dad struggling to adjust to being a father?

Perhaps you’re new to fatherhood (or parenthood for you Moms)?

Being a parent doesn’t come with an instruction manual and there’s no test to show us how to do it right!

Thus many of us struggle, make mistakes and get challenged on how to deal with fatherhood challenges.

This post, my very first, is designed to walk you through the top fatherhood challenges and find solutions together.

Let’s get going.

Welcome to my Middle Class Dad blog!

jeff campbell fatherhood challenges middle class dad

I’m a guy probably a lot like you.

Sure, society puts a lot of labels on us and many of those end up dividing us; race, gender, religion, sexual orientation, income level, political affiliations, etc., but at the end of the day, we’re really all a LOT more similar than we are different.

And just so I’m clear, this blog isn’t here to talk about ANY of the above.

I’M HERE TO HELP IDENTIFY CHALLENGES and find solutions together!

I’m here to figure out what matters to you.

What you’re struggling with and the areas of life you know you want to improve. Then together, building a community along the way, we’ll tackle those things together.

Because if it’s one thing I know, it’s that the chances that a problem you or I am facing being the first time in history anyone has faced it, is virtually non-existent.

In other words, someone has faced that challenge before and dealt with it.

Some may have tried and failed and some may have tried and succeeded, but we’re here to learn, and we learn just as well (if not better) from mistakes, and while there’s (unfortunately) no substitute for making our own mistakes, you bet we can learn from other people’s mistakes too!

Dad’s Rule! – Strength in Numbers!

According to the Census Bureau, there are:

  • 151 million males in the US
  • 117 million of those are adults
  • The  vast majority are under age 68
  • About half of adult males appear to be married, so we’re talkin’ about 70 million husbands
  • Upwards of 30% appear to be dads. 

So potentially there are almost 20 million middle class dads for whom this blog is for!

Father, child, husband, employee, breadwinner, homeowner; Middle Class Dad.  These are just a few of the words that describe me, and I bet, since you found my blog, at least some of those describe you too.

If at least some of those words describe you, then you’ve come to the right place.

You see, many of us; millions of us, just want to work hard, make a decent income, provide for our families, raise great kids and be great husbands.

We want to have fun in that process too, but sometimes we get so bogged down in trying to make all that happen that we forget to make the journey a great one.

Paying off your house early or that lifetime trip to the Bahamas doesn’t matter much if your marriage is rocky or your kids avoid you or you’ve lost your health.

fatherhood challenges middle class dad greg anderson quote on the journey

The never-ending search for solutions to fatherhood challenges

I don’t have all the answers.  I’m just a middle-class dad like you looking for solutions to life’s challenges.

But am a guy who’s been around the block a few times, a guy who’s read and listened to a lot of folks who are a lot smarter than I am and most importantly, I MADE A LOT OF MISTAKES!

The trick in life is not to never make a mistake.  The trick is to LEARN from those mistakes so that next time we don’t make the same mistake (or at least recover more quickly).

To slightly deconstruct a great Stephen Covey quote, are you a product of your circumstances or are you a product of your decisions?

The proven power of choosing the life you want!

We don’t have a lot of control over anything in life, but the one thing we can control is how we react/respond to what life gives us.

THINKING WE CAN CONTROL LIFE OR OTHERS IS AN ILLUSION; something we need to let go of to be truly happy.

Many folks and I used to be one of them, try to keep control over everything in their lives.

They get desperately frustrated, mad, sad or out of control when things don’t go their way.  I get it, I’ve been there.

This morning as I type this I had 45 minutes before I had to start my very busy day (last day of school activities before work and a dentist appointment to squeeze in).

In those 45 minutes, my plan was to cut the grass in the backyard.  Guess what?  It’s raining.

Now, I could get mad and throw a tantrum, I could get dejected and say something dramatic like “it ALWAYS rains when I have time to mow the grass”.

Or I could be defiant and go mow in the rain, proud of my ability to defeat the weather and get soaked. Risking breaking my mower all in the name of control.

Or I could take a deep breath, accept that it’s frustrating to not get to do what I need to do, acknowledge that I have to modify my plans, understand that I can’t control the weather and MOVE ON.

Now I’m not naive enough to think this is the only blog out there designed to help folks.

I’m far from the only Middle Class Dad!

Whether its Finances, Marriage, Parenting, etc, you can bet there are a million other folks out there with something to say.

A few of them I follow and will quote or link to here on occasion; I especially like to give credit where credit is due.

Almost nothing out there in print or on the web is completely original or never been said before.

But certain folks do put a unique, succinct or alternative spin on the information overloaded society we live in today, and it’s my hope to fall into one of those categories for you!

Want to know the books, podcasts and experts I love and follow?

Check out my resource pages.

The folks and things mentioned there have all helped me in my journey.

Why listen to a Middle Class Dad? 

What makes me different?  Why come to my blog?

After all, I’m not a self-proclaimed expert, don’t have any best-selling books, nor do I have a loyal following in the hundreds of thousands.

I do, however, currently have about 13,512 people that follow me each week!

All I will say, is that many folks out there in the blogging and/or self-help world, however, humble their beginnings may have been often lead lives very different than yours or mine.  They may:

  • Be Ivy League-educated
  • Live in a million dollar house
  • Appear on Oprah, etc.
  • Be a New York Times best-selling author

That’s not to knock any of those things, and who knows; maybe you or I will be there in 10 years.

But I do think that when we find ourselves with celebrity status and completely removed from the segment of society we’re trying to help it makes it very hard.

Because while they’re hearing, talking to and reading about people like you and I, they aren’t actually feeling what we feel or see what we see.

Your struggle is real and so is mine!

A good analogy about experts being disconnected from our struggles would be in my former career.

I was a GM with Whole Foods Market for many, many years.

Often there were people in regional leadership roles.  The best of them likely came up through the ranks starting in hourly roles.

But even those folks were now spending most of their time behind a desk or behind the wheel.

They saw what was selling not because they put their hands on it or heard it from customers but because they saw it on a computer screen.

They were trying to tell store-level employees how to do a job that they themselves were almost completely removed from (and in some cases never did themselves to begin with).

In short, the best way to help someone is to know their struggles personally!

And the longer someone stays in that removed and isolated role the worse that divide gets.

Again, I’m not knocking those folks, and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with succeeding.

But I’m just like you; I live in a modest home, drive a 10-year-old car and work 45+ hours a week.  That gives me a significant advantage in trying to help you.

I know your struggles, as they are my struggles too.

The top fatherhood challenges I face

fatherhood challenges middle class dad jeff campbell and astrid and jolie at disneyland

I’m probably just like you.

I cut the grass on the weekends. My wife and I get worried about our household budget.

We stress over having enough money to go on vacation, save for retirement or pay for my kid’s college.

I struggle with what to get my wife for her birthday.  I try and do minor repairs around the house.

Heck, I even built a wooden deck on the back of my house (with some invaluable help and design from a good friend).

But what are the top fatherhood challenges you face?

Some of the top things out there that all parents face are:

  1. Lack of sleep
  2. Reduced connection with your spouse
  3. Stress
  4. Time management

Once you become a dad there never seems to be enough time in the day to get everything done. Tasks get put on the back burner. Your marriage can get put on the back burner too!

So what are my . . .

7 Top Fatherhood Challenges and Solutions for Your Family

1. Having enough time to do everything

As a Dad, there never seems to be enough time to do everything.

I constantly shuffle items on my to-do list from one day to the next. I never seemingly am able to get everything done that needs to get done.

2. Earning enough money

No matter how much money we earn, it never seems to be quite enough. As we earn more darn it if we don’t somehow figure out how to spend more!

Plus for many of us wage increases simply don’t keep up with the cost of living.

Thus money is almost always one of the top fatherhood challenges!

3. Staying connected with your spouse

When your romance was new, it was all roses and sunshine. But somehow life conspires against our relationship once we become parents.

Somehow everything gets priorities above your spouse.

If your marriage is not what it could be, I have a completely FREE mini-course called Rock Your Marriage.  Check it out today!

4. Balancing all your priorities

Work, kids, spouse, household chores all compete against one another for your very limited time.  Making sure to make time for everything can seem like an impossible task.

5. Time management

As I said above, balancing your time can seem like a thankless job. Thus it’s crucial to use a tool for time management.

Whether it’s a dry erase board, day planner or an app, have something to help keep you on track!

I use a desktop program (also available as a mobile app) called GQueues.  I have a detailed review of the program, so check that out if you want to learn more!

6. Having time for yourself

When you’re running yourself ragged trying to parent, work, keep up with chores and remember to spend time with your spouse, it’s easy to put your own needs on the back burner.

Thus one of the fatherhood challenges is making sure we stay healthy, exercise and have enough time to ourselves to recharge and rejuvenate. After all if our health and mental state decline, we can’t take care of our families.

7. Managing stress

As with the above, finding effective means of managing stress is crucial!

Exercise, spending time outdoors and finding a way to balance all of life’s priorities is crucial! Stand up paddleboarding is a great way to accomplish all that at the same time!

The #1 product I use to help manage effective stress levels, anxiety and general feeling of balance is called Natural Vitality Natural Calm Plus Calcium.

It’s 4.5 stars on Amazon Prime with well over 1,400 reviews! Sweetened with organic stevia so no added calories either! I do a teaspoon a day in about 12 oz of water.

It’s a great way to start my day and keeps me feeling great!

I’M JUST LIKE YOU

Alone, I’m just one middle class dad.

But together, you and I have just doubled our energy and effectiveness.

Grow that to 10 and now we’re a team!

Grow that to 100, or 1000 or 10,000 and now we’re an unstoppable army; a force to be reckoned with in terms of finding solutions together to our fatherhood challenges!

AT THAT POINT, THERE’S NOTHING WE CAN’T BEAT!

fatherhood challenges middle class dad hellen keller quote

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I’m glad you’re here!  Let’s get going!

fatherhood challenges middle class dad jeff signature

What fatherhood challenges do you face?

Any tips or suggestions you have to share?

Feel free to comment here or email me with any questions!

Middle Class Dad is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com. As an Amazon Associate, I may earn a small commission from qualifying purchases if you click to Amazon from my site and choose to make a purchase. This is no way increases the cost to you.