Looking for ways to help your relationship grow?
Anyone in a serious relationship dreams of having it last.
We want this to be “the one”.
Most definitely we know we don’t want a bad relationship; the kind that’s a lot of work, grief, and heartache.
But deep down inside, at least most of us dream of being able to create lasting love.
Maybe we have it now, but how do we nurture it?
Perhaps we had it, but in the wake of life, careers, and kids, the passion has faded. How can we get it back? Maybe we had it and lost it!
In this post, we’re exploring how to create and grow everlasting love. We’ll look at some of the best long-lasting relationship tips.
Specifically, we’ll explore the best ways to ways to help your relationship grow.
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How do you maintain a healthy relationship?
For starters, finding great ways to help your relationship grow tips doesn’t mean:
- It will always be easy
- You won’t ever fight or argue
- Your love won’t ebb and flow over time
No; if you can create lasting love, you can bet that you will find that all of those things happen.
After all, lasting love is something that happens between 2 people and ALL people are fallible.
We all make mistakes.
All of us say and do things sometimes that we wish we hadn’t or that we didn’t mean. Thus the first key in the ways to help your relationship grow is to be patient and not expect perfection.
We are, by nature, imperfect creatures and thus our marriage and relationships will be imperfect. Even the best relationships can benefit from long lasting relationship tips.
When you end a relationship and you start to miss the other person, your mind may put up a defense that causes you to only miss the good parts of someone. Your mind wants to forget someone’s not-so-great qualities instead of seeing them as a whole person. https://t.co/Jr3ThZvupw
— Dr. Henry Cloud (@DrHenryCloud) July 22, 2018
How do you keep your relationship strong?
There’s a million books on marriage.
Some experts talk about different languages of love. A few others talk about how to create a love that lasts.
Others suggest that some of us are from another planet when it comes to communicating with our spouse.
I take issue with some of what’s out there because a lot of them make sweeping generalizations and build on stereotypes.
For every woman you show me from “Venus“, I can probably find you a guy or two who fits that shoe as well and plenty of women who don’t.
No, it’s like any other situation.
So when looked for ways to help your relationship grow, accept that you can’t have a 1 size fits all approach where people and emotions are involved.
Thus, I can promise you that doing exactly what I’ve done in my marriage might very well result in some completely different outcomes in yours.
There are, however, some basic ways to help your relationship grow you can apply to yourself as well as your relationship.
If you don’t have a current relationship then they principals you apply will doubtless help make your next relationship better than the last.
You can’t create lasting love without first looking at yourself.
So what are my . . .
5 Amazing Ways to Help Your Relationship Grow?
1 – Make Yourself Happy
You HAVE to be happy on your own.
The person who is miserable who thinks that they just need to find the right person to make them happy is fooling themselves.
They are going to make themselves and everyone around them even more miserable.
A successful relationship is one where 2 complete, well-functioning people come together and create something greater than the sum of the parts.
If you are damaged; suffering from abuse or neglect from past relationships or childhood, you must take steps to work on yourself before you can truly work on the ways to help your relationship grow.
Note: I do not mean you have to be perfect or have your issues completely resolved before entering a relationship. If that was what I meant, I’d be single in a heartbeat.
But I do mean you have to be aware of your issues and be actively taking some steps to address them.
For many, that would be therapy, but for others, it might include meditation, physical activities or prayer. Or D: all of the above!
Whatever it is for you, make sure you’re diligent about its regular practice.
If you struggle, as I have, with learning how to Let Go of the Past so it doesn’t destroy my future, I highly recommend you take a moment and review one of my most shared posts on Twitter.
Being aware of one’s issues is half the battle
Many people wander this world not even acknowledging the damage inside them.
When we aren’t even aware we’re damaged, what do you think the likelihood is of fixing ourselves? That’s right; not very good.
I also don’t mean that two damaged people can’t come together and work through their respective issues together and come out on the other side. They can; my wife and I are good examples of that.
However, that journey is long, hard and fraught with times where you might feel like giving up.
But when you do go through that journey together and come out successful, you often find your relationship is stronger than ever.
In short one of the best ways to help your relationship grow is for you to be a happy person on your own and not look to others for happiness or feelings of self-worth.
One of the biggest challenges I faced is finding myself Repeating Destructive Patterns of Behavior. If you have seen that in your life too, make sure you review my tips on how to stop the endless destructive cycle.
2 – Don’t Expect Perfection
As I said above, the “perfect” marriage or relationship doesn’t exist.
People aren’t perfect, ergo marriage isn’t perfect. Thus if you are expecting the relationship to be perfect, you’re in for a rude awakening.
When we expect perfection in ourselves, our mate and/or our marriage we are setting ourselves up for disappointment.
This is not how to have a long lasting relationship.
Healthy marriage is more about progress and less about perfection. pic.twitter.com/Ssv3ooFjlf
— Fierce Marriage (@FierceMarriage) January 9, 2017
Success and failure is mostly about perspective
Think of yourself as a long distance runner who just ran 5 miles.
For me, that’s a celebration (since I don’t run a lot). For Kenenisa Bekele, who holds the world record, that would be considered disappointing.
Thus the same outcome can be looked at from more than 1 perspective.
If you beat yourself or your spouse up (figuratively) every time you have an argument or when things break down, you’ll likely come away with the notion that your relationship is in trouble.
Take those same arguments and breakdowns and look at them as opportunities to make your relationship stronger and to be better connected and you’ll come away feeling great.
When things do go awry (and they will), we simply need to analyze what happened.
Put yourself in the shoes of the other person and find some common ground or agreements to move forward on.
Empathy is truly one of the best ways to help your relationship grow.
— #TeacherGoals (@teachergoals) January 11, 2017
The terrible danger of the blame game
It’s not even important in most cases to assign blame or figure out who “caused” the fight.
It takes 2 people to make a relationship work and it takes 2 to make it not work.
That’s not to say there aren’t some truly despicable people out there who nice people have inadvertently entered into a relationship with.
But those instances are truly few and far between. It’s also not to say there aren’t some behaviors which are more damaging than others. That also is true.
— SBS Comedy (@SBSComedy) December 30, 2016
But most of us just want to be loved, respected, supported and heard.
Most breakdowns happen when we feel like the other isn’t giving us one or more of those things.
To boil it down – Know going into a relationship that you will argue, you will disagree, you will cry and that’s OK and not a sign of failure.
So another of the best ways to help your relationship grow is to accept imperfection.
You CAN save your marriage — even if your spouse says that they want a divorce.
You CAN rebuild that passion you felt for one another when you first kissed. And you can bring back that love and devotion you felt for one another when both of you said, “I love you” for the first time.
If you feel like your marriage is worth fighting for, then do yourself a favor and watch this quick video on how to Mend Your Marriage that will teach you everything you need to know about salvaging the most important thing in the world.
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