Why Does My Husband Hide His Phone? (And What to Do)


Are you reading this because your husband’s behavior has changed out of the blue, and he is acting suspiciously? Have you specifically found yourself wondering, “why does my husband hide his phone?”.

Here’s what I think that means:

A husband who hides their phone has something to hide. However, while it could mean infidelity or other inappropriate behavior, it could also be they are planning a special getaway or present for you. There needs to be other suspicious behavior before deciding something inappropriate is happening.

But that’s just a quick snapshot of the problem.

So in this article, we’ll dig a lot deeper into all of the possible reasons a guy might do this. But more importantly, we’ll look at what to do about it.

Have you noticed your husband being on their phone too much?

Is your gut feeling telling you that there’s something off about your spouse’s behavior, especially when you catch them on their phone at weird hours of the night? Do you have access to their phone and social media accounts?

What’s the etiquette on phone privacy pertaining to your significant other?

Is full access to someone’s phone and social media accounts a necessary evil for a relationship to stay transparent and healthy? If you’ve asked yourself some, if not all, of these questions, this article might help you shed more light on your current situation.

I’ve been on the brink of divorce and saved my marriage, and I KNOW you can too, even when you don’t trust your spouse

I’ve been in your shoes. You want to move beyond the pain. And you desperately want your marriage to have trust, mutual acceptance, and respect. You just want those nagging feelings of insecurity to go away!

Luckily, all hope is NOT lost, and there is something you can do, even if your spouse isn’t sure they want to save the marriage. 

The website Regain offers licensed therapists who specialize in couples counseling and will work directly with you and your spouse online; anytime and from anywhere.

Serious about saving or improving your relationship?

CLICK HERE to answer a short quiz and see if Regain is right for you.

Is hiding your phone a sign of cheating?

Hiding your phone is certainly suspicious, and there is obviously something being hidden. But in and of itself, that does not necessarily mean infidelity is occurring. They could be planning a special getaway, buying a present, or may have a medical issue they are embarrassed about.

So the answer is that it can be. But don’t jump to conclusions without additional info.

With the current technology we have with smartphones, it has become so easy to meet people with just the touch of our fingertips.

Dating apps are the most popular and easiest way to meet people.

Temptation is easily accessible to those who are looking to be thrilled. It’s not that difficult to present yourself in a different light on the internet to find more desirable partners.

Dating apps send notifications when you’ve “matched” with someone or when you receive a private message from a potential partner, so one can assume that if your husband is using dating apps without your knowledge, chances are they don’t want you to see these notifications on their phone accidentally.

But it could be because they’re sending inappropriate images and having sexual conversations with another person (“sexting”). They could also very well be in the process of creating their exit plan without your knowledge.

Another reason to hide your phone from your spouse is that they’re talking to someone they don’t want you to know about. Maybe an ex is struggling, and even if they have no intention of trying to get back with them, they are worried about you being jealous.

My wife has a toxic ex who was physically abusive.

I’ve never met the guy but he’ll text her and basically threaten suicide to get her attention. It’s frustrating for me as I just want him out of our life as he doesn’t provide any value to her. But she cares about him (platonically) and doesn’t want to see him or his family in pain.

But, and this is the key, she lets me know when he’s texted and if she needs to make a call.

A healthy relationship requires trust from both sides, and being secretive about your phone is a definite red flag that something is up.

However, hiding your phone from your significant other cannot be the only indication that they might be unfaithful to you.

If your marriage is failing, then check out this quick video on the 7 Steps to Fixing Your Marriage that will help get yours back on track.

What are the other signs of a cheating spouse?

The signs of a cheating spouse include not only being secretive with their phone but also clearing the computer search history, spending more time “at work”, and being less affectionate than normal.

In my recent article, I discussed how being secretive about one’s phone and social media accounts can indicate that your spouse may no longer want to be with you.

But there are other signs that you need to look for to be sure, including the 1 surefire way to know for sure they are cheating.

Just click that link to read it on my site.

But ask yourself, has your spouse been avoiding you, or have you been so busy with work and tending to your family that they might be feeling neglected?

Men who are faithful and loving to their spouses will always make time to make their wives feel special, even in the smallest of ways.

If all of a sudden your husband stops acting the way he’s always been toward you and there haven’t been any major factors that could cause a shift in your dynamic as a couple, he could very well be keeping something from you.

Has your spouse been spending a lot more time with his friends?

If so, have you been putting forth an effort to spend quality time with him? A healthy dose of independence in any relationship is important.

Is your husband spending a lot of time being “out” with his friends to the point where you barely see him? And does he come home late at night without checking in with you or letting you know where they are or who they’re with?

It is not only inconsiderate, but it shows that he might not care about you as much as he used to.

Is your husband still passionate about being intimate with you, or has your sex life seem to have fizzled out?

Is he acting hot and cold with you without any rhyme or reason?

Men who cheat will usually stop having sex with their significant other because they are getting it somewhere else. Still, there are some men who go the complete opposite when they are cheating and want to have sex, maybe way too much.

Either way, a change in your husband’s intimacy levels could be a sign that they might be unfaithful to you.

Did your husband suddenly start caring about his physical appearance? Many men who cheat on their spouses tend to start working out to get fit and do other things to enhance their attractiveness.

If you answered “yes” to any of these questions, then chances are, your spouse might be cheating on you.

Is it wrong to check my husband’s phone?

Checking anyone’s phone without their consent is an absolute invasion of privacy. So the only reasons anyone should check a spouse’s phone are if they are showing several other outward signs of being unfaithful.

But even then, two wrongs don’t make a right.

It is crucial to establish boundaries in any healthy and functioning relationship, and sneaking a look at someone’s phone is an easy way to destroy trust.

Cell phones have become such a personal item in this day and age that checking your husband’s phone right away for the smallest things can ruin the trust between partners.

It can also be very detrimental to your mental health.

With that being said, if your spouse has given you multiple red flags that he might be cheating on you and on top of that, he starts being uncomfortable setting their phone down around you, then I think you have all the right to get your answers.

However, keep in mind that there are ways that you can hide your actions on the internet.

If you look at their browsing history and there is nothing, they are probably clearing their history each time or using private browsing (“incognito mode”) to avoid exposing themselves.

In a recent article, I talked about certain possibilities as to why your spouse would want to conceal their online activities and steps you can take to find out what they’re hiding.

Be sure to click that link to read more on my site.

Why would my husband get mad when I want to see his phone?

Checking someone’s phone is an invasion of privacy. If they are guilty of wrong-doing, they will get angry over potentially being caught. And if they are not guilty, they will be mad over feeling falsely accused.

There is no subtle way to go about asking to see your husband’s phone.

Any way you approach this situation will always come off as confrontational. Make sure you are communicating to your husband as to why you feel it’s necessary to check his phone.

Even an honest person may get angry or agitated by this action even if they have nothing to hide.

But if communication has never been an issue with you and your husband, he would be understanding, and this can be a way for the both of you to have a conversation about your worries.

Remember that looking through your husband’s phone is an absolute sign that you already have some trust issues with them.

Also, even if they really have nothing to hide, being falsely accused could make anyone angry and potentially refuse to let you see it. That doesn’t mean they are guilty of anything. 

You have to be prepared for the possible angry reaction and argument.

Be certain that this is something you are ready to face as a consequence. Asking to go through your husband’s phone carries a serious accusation, and you must be prepared for all outcomes.

Really the only time where it’s appropriate to ask for your spouse’s phone would be following the disclosure of an affair.

At that point, assuming the affair is done and both of you are committed to rebuilding the trust, I think the guilty party should be prepared to live under house arrest for at least 6 months.

That should include being willing to share phone, and all social and email passwords.

What does it mean when your husband locks his phone?

A husband locking his phone doesn’t automatically mean that he is cheating or has something to hide. If he, like so many others, uses his phone not just as a means to communicate with people but also to do business, they may use a password or face detection security to protect their phones.

In truth, in my house, everyone BUT me uses lock screens on their phones. That includes not only my wife but my 2 middle-school daughters too. I don’t ever see that as suspicious.

And I don’t have one on mine mostly because I find it annoying to have to unlock it every time.

Banks and other financial institutions that have secure apps require you to have a lock on your phone in order to use their mobile services.

Your husband could have some sensitive work emails and important documents that can be accessed through his cell phone that would require him to use a lock on his phone.

If your husband is transparent about this, he would have given you his password without needing you to ask for access. But again, you shouldn’t demand his password unless he has a history of affairs or other inappropriate behavior.

And if he’s a repeat offender, you probably have bigger problems.

As I have mentioned before, having an open dialogue about your concerns and worries about infidelity may upset or hurt his feelings.

But if he cares about you and wants to alleviate your worries, he would have no problem being open and honest about his cell phone contents and activities.

If your marriage is failing, then check out this quick video on the 7 Steps to Fixing Your Marriage that will help get yours back on track.

Should married couples have passwords on their phones?

It’s not a red flag to have passwords on phones. What makes it worse is a lack of transparency, honesty, and communication between a couple. Or a recent change in the password in combination with other suspicious behavior.

Your husband probably knows you well enough that there might be specific actions and behaviors that can worry you or trigger certain negative emotions.

And this can cause waves in the relationship.

If so, then he will do things to mitigate that from happening. Again, passwords are used not just for privacy but for safety as well.

Most people wouldn’t want a random stranger to pick up their phone and be able to access everything, including personal photos and passwords.

Being clear right from the beginning about boundaries in the marriage and issues that need compromise should always be discussed and communicated early on, even before marriage.

It is one of the best ways to have a strong foundation in a marriage and also a way to share your life with someone without having to lose yourself.

What does it mean if a guy is always on his phone?

Someone who is always on their phones can mean many things, most of which are no cause for concern. It could be business issues at work, following financial changes in the market, or a friend or family member could be having personal problems.

But let’s face it. There are also many people today with cell phone addiction who can’t bear to part with their phones for a long time.

They could be waiting for some important news or following a big game with their favorite team. With all the information readily accessible with smartphones, anyone could be doing a myriad of things with their phones.

But if all of a sudden your husband, who has never been attached to their cell phone, starts spending a lot of time on their phone, it doesn’t hurt to ask them what they’re doing.

It’s not being nosy; it’s being interested.

They could be looking up a tutorial for a project they are doing at home or bidding on an item on a website. If they are, you can offer to help them research or win an item they are bidding on.

A husband who has nothing to hide will never act aloof or defensive when posed with this kind of situation.

My wife is always on her phone. She probably doesn’t even realize it.

She just uses it as a relaxation tool during her brief moments of downtime. But there are times when it annoys me as it’s impossible to be totally present to what you’re doing and who you’re with if you’re constantly on your phone.

But I don’t see it as suspicious. And I do sometimes check-in and simply say “what are you working on?” And that will usually bring her back and be present to whatever we were doing. So this behavior can be annoying for sure. But suspicious? Not unless there are other symptoms going on also.

But what if this behavior persists?

If your husband continues to be on his phone to the point where he is ignoring you when you’re in the same room or spending time with his family, it could be a red flag. And it definitely should be brought up.

Just avoid accusations until you have actual evidence of wrongdoing.

Am I being insecure about my husband hiding his phone?

If your husband has always been loving and trustworthy and there is no history of inappropriate behavior, suddenly becoming suspicious with no additional evidence is a sign of insecurity.

But, feelings of jealousy and insecurity in any kind of relationship are normal.

How would you know if you love and care about someone that much if you don’t have an array of emotions that you feel toward your spouse?

If all of a sudden your relationship turns sideways, it’s important to not panic. Always stay calm and think about what is the logical cause of his behavior?

Because it could very well be a simple case of your husband researching or even planning a surprise for you and the kids (if you have any).

Or it could be that you both have been so busy with work, family, or other things that you have neglected to make time for each other and reconnect. Whatever the reason may be, it’s important to communicate with your husband about the disconnect you feel.

Always give people the benefit of the doubt.

Don’t jump to conclusions and freak out with no evidence to support your conclusion. I have a friend with a jealous and insecure wife. They still live in 2 different houses as they are still somewhat newly married.

One night he went to bed early and didn’t hear her phone call.

She drove over and burst into his bedroom having jumped to the conclusion that he must have been having an affair and intended to catch him.

Instead, she found him sleeping and had a lot of apologizing to do, and probably looked really crazy.

How do I deal with a secretive husband?

When communication ceases, and you’re dealing with a secretive spouse, the best approach is to ask questions and let them know how their actions make you feel. Avoid making accusations and bold statements.

It’s easy to wonder, “is there no hope for us?”

The answer is there is still a chance to save your relationship with him. As I have mentioned before, communication is important.

Why do you think he’s being secretive?

Is he even being secretive at all, or is he just aware that a lot is going on in your lives right now, or he knows that you’ve been stressed out with work or family affairs that he doesn’t want to add to your stress?

In a recent article, I listed some possible reasons for the disconnect between you and your husband and several ways that you can use to rekindle your relationship with your spouse. These aren’t just some random things I found on the internet.

Instead, they are the exact steps I took when my wife mentioned divorce in 2013. Here we are many years later, much happier, and with a 3rd daughter born in 2017.

Just click that link to read all 15 of my tips on my site.

So unless your husband has become abusive on top of being secretive, not all hope is lost. And if there is abuse, you should immediately leave for your own well-being, especially if you have children!

So what does it all mean?

Just because your husband has a lock and password set up in his phone, this doesn’t automatically mean they’re unfaithful.

Modern phones carry a lot of sensitive and personal information that needs to be protected with passwords and even facial recognition in some cases.

People will check their phones nowadays to access the news, especially if there are major events happening. They check sports games that involve their favorite teams, and in some cases, people use their phones to do actual work.

You need to observe your husband’s behavior and see if he is exhibiting other activities that could indicate that he might not be being honest with you.

What else is he being secretive about?

Is it out of the ordinary, or is it something that he usually does, and certain stressors are making you hypervigilant?

You need to check in on yourself to see if you have been busy with work and family that you haven’t spent any quality time with your husband.

Feeling insecure in a marriage or any relationship is normal, but it can fester if you leave it unchecked. Is there a reason on your side that is increasing your suspicions that your husband is unfaithful to you?

When in doubt, talk to your husband about how you feel.

If your husband is honest and isn’t cheating on you at all, he will be willing to talk and be understanding about it.

The chances of your husband being angry and hurt by this are high, especially if they aren’t doing anything wrong, so be prepared for the consequences of this action regardless of the outcome.

Be honest and open about your insecurities and fears.

If your husband truly cares for you and loves you, he will provide you with all the reassurance you will need. An honest man who loves his wife dearly will do everything in their power to keep them from feeling hurt because it hurts them too.

What if he is cheating?

Accountability is key in being successful in healing after a spouse cheats.

Being cheated on is a traumatic experience, and you will be swimming in so many emotions. It will be overwhelming, especially in the beginning, but as with any process of loss and grieving, you will go through stages, and things will get better. Whatever you choose, whether it is simply walking away from your marriage or going through all the motions possible to save the relationship, it will get better.

But cheating doesn’t have to end the marriage.

If you choose to work on your marriage after your husband cheats on you, it is important to establish boundaries and assess where the relationship is headed.

Ask yourself, have you given it your all?

Have you lost yourself and seem to be having trouble finding who you are anymore? Was the infidelity too much of a betrayal for you? Is your husband still exhibiting toxic behaviors? Would you have to give too much in order for this marriage to survive?

And last but not least, is your husband willing to change? You need to answer these questions as honestly as you can. Otherwise, it can lead to a whole new world of heartache.

Open communication is very important in any relationship.

A marriage takes two people for it to work and if you and your husband are not ready to give up on each other after infidelity, then putting in the work from both sides is essential in order to survive a huge marital crisis.

Final thoughts

There are a large number of reasons why you might suspect that your husband is cheating on you.

Whether it’s hiding their phones or ceasing communication in your relationship, there isn’t just one reason as to why a spouse would act a certain way.

A husband who hides their cell phone from their spouse can definitely be a sign of cheating or other shady behavior. However, you can’t just rely on that to make a judgment. It could be other reasons that don’t involve infidelity, such as work-related reasons or privacy concerns involving financial institutions.

However, if you go through your husband’s phone and happen to find concrete evidence that he is indeed cheating on you, then you have to make a decision.

Do you stay or do you go?

Is cheating a deal-breaker for you? For some spouses, it can be the end of a marriage. For some, it is not the end but can be a starting point in figuring out the issues in the relationship.

If you and your husband decide to give your marriage another chance, you should check out my recent article where I advised on ways to heal a marriage after infidelity.

Just click that link to read it on my site.

I’ve been on the brink of divorce and saved my marriage, and I KNOW you can too, even when you don’t trust your spouse

I’ve been in your shoes. You want to move beyond the pain. And you desperately want your marriage to have trust, mutual acceptance, and respect. You just want those nagging feelings of insecurity to go away!

Luckily, all hope is NOT lost, and there is something you can do, even if your spouse isn’t sure they want to save the marriage. 

The website Regain offers licensed therapists who specialize in couples counseling and will work directly with you and your spouse online; anytime and from anywhere.

Serious about saving or improving your relationship?

CLICK HERE to answer a short quiz and see if Regain is right for you.

 


Jeff Campbell

Jeff Campbell is a husband, father, martial artist, budget-master, Disney-addict, musician, and recovering foodie having spent over 2 decades as a leader for Whole Foods Market. Click to learn more about me

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