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Why Does My Son Take Long Showers?

By: Author Jeff Campbell

Posted on Last updated:

Categories Parenting

Parenting is hard and oftentimes confusing and frustrating, especially as our kids hit the tween and teen years. Extra long showers sometimes go hand in hand with boys, but you may have asked, why does my son take long showers?

Here’s what I know from my own youth:

Teenage boys take long showers when contemplating overwhelming emotions that are too embarrassing to show others and when enjoying a moment of alone time away from parents or siblings, but sometimes it’s common for boys to masturbate in the shower once they hit puberty. 

But that’s not all there is to know about why your son is taking long showers.

So in this article, we’ll look at all the possibilities and how to know which reason applies to your son. But we’ll also look at some of the physical downsides he should be aware of from long showers.

Just keep reading!

How long should a shower take for a boy?

For teenage boys, showers should be kept under five minutes to keep skin and hair from drying out. Spending too much time in the shower isn’t good for the skin.

How often boys shower should depend on how active they are. Less active boys can shower 2-3 times per week. But if they are involved in sports or working out, or just sweat a lot, they should shower every day.

Your son may even need to take multiple short showers per day. If this is the case, they should be on the cooler side. This will help prevent the skin from getting too dry.

Generally, showers should be pretty short and cool. Long hot showers will strip the body of its natural oils, causing it to dry out.

If your son takes long showers or very hot showers, he should use a moisturizer or lotion. Moisturizers and lotions should be applied a few minutes after showering while the skin is still moist.

If your son needs help building confidence, check out this recent article.

Team sports and martial arts not only make kids sweat a lot, but they help build confidence too, especially when the coach inspires and motivates the kids they work with, rather than belittling them when they fail.

Just click the link to read it on my site.

Do teenage boys masturbate in the shower?

Oftentimes boys will use their time in the shower to masturbate once they hit puberty. Masturbation is a safe way to explore their body and helps boys get comfortable with who they are. It is a normal part of growing up.

If you have a teenage boy, masturbation comes with the territory.

He might masturbate in the shower. He may also masturbate in his bedroom, or even the living room couch when you’re not home.

This is completely normal.

If you find that you are feeling a little squeamish right about now, you need to get comfortable. Your son should never feel ashamed about masturbating. But there definitely need to be some rules in place.

For one, they simply cannot leave evidence of masturbation all over the house. They need to clean up after themselves, whether it’s throwing away used tissues or washing their own bedsheets.

A shower is a great place to get to know your body. You are already naked, and everything washes down the drain, so there is nothing to clean up afterward.

However, your son needs to be aware that other people also enjoy showers. Water costs money, and wasting water is bad for the environment.

How much water does a shower use?

The average shower uses approximately 17 gallons of water and lasts 8 minutes. The average bath uses about 30 gallons of water.

The most efficient showerheads have a flow rate of 1.5 gallons per minute. Most modern shower heads are marked with the flow rate.

The good news is that flow rates have little influence on the duration of the shower.

So, if you have an inefficient showerhead, you can simply replace the showerhead with a more efficient one to conserve water.

The showerhead I LOVE and don’t feel like I’m compromising on is this one by Speakman on Amazon. It has a flow rate of 1.75, but it has the luxury feel of a fine spa, and it’s the same brand you see at all the best hotels.

Of course, taking shorter showers will also conserve water.

If your son is taking long showers, don’t confront him by yelling at him. Instead, try to come from a place of compassion and understanding.

By coming from a place of compassion and understanding, you are helping your son form a strong bond with you. Otherwise known as a secure attachment.

Child psychologists like Mary Ainsworth prefer a secure attachment as it focuses on sensitive mothers who respond appropriately to their child’s needs and emotions.

To read more about the different kinds of parenting, read this recent article. There, I also talk about what a child psychologist is and why it’s important to be in tune with your children. I also talk about why child psychologists say yelling and corporal punishment simply don’t work.

Just click the link to read more on my site.

Do showers relieve stress?

Warm or hot water from a shower is a great way to relieve stress, soothe aching muscles and help us relax our shoulders where we tend to carry a lot of tension. The solitude also allows us to reflect on things in an almost meditative way.

I’m going to go out on a limb here and suggest that when you take a nice hot shower, you feel less stressed when you get out.

While being fresh and clean is the primary reason for taking a shower, showers also have tremendous therapeutic effects.

Cold showers are common practice in many countries. It’s not surprising, either. Cold showers have been associated with improved circulation, boosting energy, and even boosting the immune system.

Cold water has been shown to reduce stress by calming down our central nervous system. source

Cold water can also boost your energy and won’t dry out your skin like a hot shower will. Hot showers also have several benefits. They help relieve stiffness at the end of a long day. The steam can relieve congestion, and of course, reduce stress.

So whether your son prefers a hot shower or a cold one, it will help reduce some stress.

If you find that your son is more than just stressed, he could be suffering from anxiety. Anxiety is normal and a part of growing up. But if it’s not going away, it could be a genuine anxiety disorder.

To learn about what may be going on regarding your son’s anxiety, take a look at this recent article. There I talk about the kinds of anxiety disorders and what to look out for.

Just click the link to read it on my site.

Why are long showers bad?

Long showers can lead to dry skin and hair. This can cause the skin to flake and can also lead to dandruff. Additionally, they use a lot of water, and in a large family, it can impact the ability of others to shower while the water is still warm.

And long hot showers are even worse.

Hot water strips away natural oils in your skin. This can damage the skin faster and even make cleansers more damaging.

It’s best to stick to cool or lukewarm showers that are under five minutes.

You also don’t want to wash your hair too often. It simply doesn’t need as much washing as the rest of our skin. Of course, how often you wash your hair will depend on the hair type. Very oily hair may need to be washed every day.

But gray or colored hair is drier and should not be washed as often.

People with sensitive skin should focus on the dirtiest areas. Arms and legs don’t always need soap. It’s okay to just focus on your underarms, groin, and feet.

Also, be sure to start from the top down. If you wash your hair first, the soap will work its way down, cleaning the rest of your body. Conditioners can irritate acne-prone skin. So, if you are acne-prone, condition your hair first, and then wash the skin.

Moisturizing body washes and lotions can help relieve any dryness from taking showers that are too hot or too long.

Final Thoughts

There are lots of reasons to take a nice long shower.

Showers are restorative, head-clearing, and muscle relaxing. They are also a chance to just be alone uninterrupted. If you find that your water bill is skyrocketing because of your son’s excessively long showers, talk to him about it.

But teenage boys are about to or have just gone through puberty.

You may see all kinds of changes when that happens, from cutting their hair super short or maybe your son not wanting to cut his hair at all.

Don’t be alarmed unless what you’re seeing is really out of the ordinary.

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Jeff Campbell
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