Skip to Content

Does My Husband Still Love Me? 45 Proven Signs to Look For!

Have you ever felt like something is off in your marriage? Maybe your once warm and affectionate husband now seems aloof and distant? If that’s what you’re seeing, it’s common to wonder does my husband still love me?

A husband who still loves his wife is still physically affectionate, attentive, communicative, makes eye contact with her, is passionate about her, is not rude or condescending when arguing, takes an active interest in her life and friends, and still makes sex a priority.

But that’s just the beginning of how to know your husband’s true intentions. And there are 13 signs in total you should be on the lookout for. So let’s keep going and look at each one.

Does your husband not include you in plans? Or maybe your husband feels like less of a lover and more like a roommate. In times like these, it’s often a compulsory reaction to think of the worst.

What’s wrong here? How did things come to this? Does my husband even still love me?

Before jumping to any conclusions, know that it’s often not the worst. A lot of times, relationship problems can be solved easily enough.

So, in this article, we’ll check out 45 proven signs that your husband still loves you. Most of these signs are in the little details and are pretty specific.

45 signs your husband still loves you

Read on to learn more about some proven ways to spot love as an action.

Of course,  if a man actually did all 45 of these things, he would be superman. So don’t hold him to an impossibly high standard or think he doesn’t love you if he doesn’t hit everything on this list.

Also bear in mind if he’s never done some of these things then maybe that’s just not his style and not a symptom of a problem.

As with most things, look for CHANGES in his behavior from how he used to be.

1. He still likes to touch, hold hands and kiss

Everyone has their own preference for physical displays of affection. But, there’s something about the warmth of your lover’s touch that’s just nice. And that should never fade.

Holding hands, cuddling and kisses don’t need to disappear in marriage. These kinds of sweet displays might cool down a bit after the honeymoon phase of any relationship. There’s nothing strange about that. But if there is a total lack of affection, intimacy, or touch this is a sign something is wrong.

These might not be a big deal to some who dislike public displays of affection.

But these little things are an important signal. It’s one that says, “I still see you as my lover. I still see you as my partner.” This signal of affection should be relayed one way or another on the regular.

2. He puts his phone down when you’re around

It’s hard to resist the allure of too much screen time these days. But how do you know if your man is up to something more nefarious than late-night Candy Crush?

Check out his behavior about his phone when you’re around.

Does he quickly exit the screen he was on if you sneak up behind him? Did he drop and lock the cell phone as soon as you were near? Is his phone placed screen down only when you’re around? These are all signs something’s up.

Calling out the behavior at this point might be for the best before throwing out any damaging accusations. But these are all signs it’s time to keep a closer eye on how and when he’s using his phone.

3. He makes eye contact regularly

In sizing up and connecting with others, people place a lot of weight on eye contact. And for good reason! There are a host of subtle psychological changes that take place when we make eye contact with someone. Through direct eye contact, we are allowing someone a glimpse into our subconscious mind.

Most importantly, we’re showing that we’re open to connecting.

There’s a phrase in German, “wie Luft behandeln”, which means to be seen as air. It’s a feeling of disconnection when someone refuses to look at us. A husband’s purposeful lack of eye contact is a sign of just that – a desire to disconnect.

This is one key feature of an emotionally distant husband.

If you’re seeing that, check out my recent article to know for sure if you’re dealing with emotional disconnection and how to turn that around and not have it destroy your marriage. Just click that link to read it on my site.

Don’t ignore this sign if you see it and ask what’s going on.

4. He still argues passionately (but not rudely)

Every couple has arguments.

A couple that never argues either has some secret that we’ve all yet to find or is one between a pair of incredibly cunning psychopaths. So, arguing by itself isn’t a sign of anything, except maybe that your relationship is totally normal – congratulations! But, you should pay attention to how your husband argues.

Does he respect your feelings and the problems you’ve brought to the argument? Does he ask questions to understand your perspective? Does he offer potential compromises to solve the problem amicably? If so, you’ve found yourself a very healthy arguer.

But what about some bad signs?

Immediately getting on the defensive, indifference to your feelings, or retreating into noncommunicative silence are all terrible ways to handle a disagreement. These might be signs of waning affection if your husband fails to argue productively with you.
In fact, there are 4 behaviors tied to arguing that almost always lead to divorce.

Those are:

Learn more about them, why they can destroy your marriage in a recent article. I not only go in-depth, but I give you proven strategies on how to stop them either in yourself or your spouse.

5. He asks for your opinion

When you love someone, they should have a place in both your daily life and your larger vision of the future.

Asking for your lover’s opinion is one way to honor this notion. It’s a statement that says they value your thoughts and how their actions affect you matter. Therefore, your husband asking for your opinion is another proven sign that he loves you.

Small matters like changing a hairstyle, buying new clothes, or switching ice cream brands obviously don’t call for a big counsel with you. But perhaps you’ve felt hurt by plans made without you, impulsive big purchases, or an apparent lack of interest in your input about these issues.

This is behavior that certainly deserves some examination and discussion.

6. You hear from him throughout the day

Staying in contact is critical in any successful marriage.

We often need to work as a team with our partners. This is especially so if children or other family obligations get thrown into the mix. But beyond this, contact serves another very important purpose. It lets you know your partner is thinking of you.

If the only messages or calls you get are exchanging information, that’s great! You’re with a considerate husband who makes sure you’re on the same page.

But better still would be text messages or calls for no reason at all. “Hope you have a nice lunch,” “how’s your day going?” or “Good news! …” messages are all signs of a heart filled with affection for you.

7. He likes spending time with you

It should go without saying this but, make sure you actually enjoy spending time with your partner.

This may seem obvious but there are plenty of couples out there suffering in quiet desperation. We’ve all seen couples with seemingly little in common going through the motions, stifling boredom, and silent resentment. Don’t be that couple.

If your man doesn’t enjoy your interests or hobbies, by extension, they one day won’t like you much either.

And the opposite is true, too. Hopefully, you’ve done the smart thing and made sure you’ve got some common interests before entering into a committed relationship. If not, now is the time to branch out and try something new. Explore your partner’s hobbies, ask them to join yours, or discover something totally different together.

Find ways to make your relationship grow, the sake of your future may depend on it.

In a recent article, I get into how to keep your relationship growing and stop it from getting stale and boring. And if it already has reached that point, I talk about getting out of that rut.

Just click that link to read it on my site.

8. He takes an active interest in your life

He has his friends and you have yours. He does his thing with his friends while you unwind with yours. Nothing wrong with this scenario at all. But, there should be limits to this kind of compartmentalization of your social lives.

Most people’s friends and interests are an integral part of their identity.

To not at least try to meld into each other’s social lives is a misstep at best and planting a seed of catastrophe at worst. Not enjoying each other’s friends is a bad sign. Those people are a reflection of what your partner values and what they can accept.

If your husband makes no attempts to connect with and accept your friends, it is a rejection of one aspect of you. 

Anyone with their sights set to the future with their partner should at least try to be involved with their social life. Not everyone is going to get along perfectly and some people may never become great friends. But just making the attempt and respecting you and your life is a total necessity.

9. You still catch him checking you out

  • Light touches throughout the day
  • A hand on the small of your back as he reaches for something
  • A gaze up from the phone to watch you pass by

All of these should leave you feeling good about yourself. And more importantly, this means you can rest easy knowing this is a sign your partner still loves you and thinks you’re as attractive as ever.

10. Sex is still a priority (and still good)

As couples age, take on new responsibilities and the relationship matures, your life in the bedroom might seem a bit less active than it used to.

How often do couples have sex as they get older?

I break it all down with statistics and hard facts in a recent article. I look at the average frequency in different age ranges as well as the one thing that tends to kill a formerly good sex life.

Just click that link to read it on my site.

But a little bit of a slowdown is totally normal. We start relationships in a kind of frenzied state thanks to love’s feel-good chemical release. Eventually, we acclimate to our partners and level back out again to normal, whatever that may be for you.

That said, there are a ton of links between a healthy relationship and a good sex life.

Keep in mind one begets the other and they correlate in both directions. Sex can serve as a bonding tool, a display of affection or even a way to make up after an argument.

Studies show that people who pay attention to their lover’s sexual needs report being more satisfied in the relationship as a whole. Satisfying sex can even help unrelated communication problems.

So, if you’re past the honeymoon stage and your husband still initiates and tries to satisfy you, you’re doing great.

11. He talks about your future together

Most humans are simple creatures.

It seems we tend to think and talk about what concerns us at the present moment. It might be as banal as what’s for dinner, or our latest Netflix bender. But in a strong relationship, some of those thoughts should be about you. A husband who never mentions the future, or fails to include you in those plans is a bad sign.

If he’s not thinking of your shared future, it might mean he’s not thinking of you either.

Mentioning you in his future is one big sign he still loves you. Getting a random text message from our partners and being included in his vision of the future are both indicative of one important fact – he is thinking of you.

Of course, a long stretch without talking about the future isn’t a bad sign by itself. But it could be cause for concern if some of the other boxes on this list are ticked as well.

12. He’s willing to be vulnerable with you

Allowing yourself to be vulnerable is essential to build a meaningful connection with someone. It is a leap of faith hoping you will cushion the fall rather than step aside. A brave act for the vulnerable one, certainly.

But it’s also a sign of trust in you. 

Most are not willing to take a chance to reveal themselves to someone who will probably hurt them. So continuing to be vulnerable is a meaningful display of their faith in you. It is a display that you understanding them fully is important to them. It’s an endeavor that takes a lifetime.

If the effort or trust in this fades, it could be a sign he feels unsafe with you or is ready to place that effort elsewhere.

13. He still flirts with you

Playfulness and charm don’t have to fade just because you’ve been together for a long time.

Though flirting loses its role as an indicator of interest in a marriage, it serves another important purpose: making you laugh or feel wanted. If these things are important to your partner, flirting is one great indicator of it .

14. He still spends more time with you than he does going out

Don’t get me wrong. Time apart is crucial for neither spouse to feel smothered or controlled. But the flipside also doesn’t work, where each spouse mostly does their own thing.

So balance is the key.

But a good husband is also like a best friend and will want to spend more time with you than he does anyone else. When he makes more plans with you than anyone else, that’s a clear sign he loves you.

15. He shows you respect

When a spouse falls out of love but is still married, they begin to feel trapped. That is especially true if he’s forged an emotional connection (or a physical one) with someone else.

And when that happens, the wayward spouse can start to feel resentful.

And then it’s all too common for that resentment to turn into anger, disrespect, creating unrealistic expectations to justify their obvious disappointment, and maybe even emotional abuse.

16. He posts pictures of you on his social media

When a spouse has fallen out of love they might fall off of social media altogether.

That’s what my now ex-wife did back in April 2021 when she asked for a divorce. In fact, to this day, he abandoned social media channels still have loads of pictures of us together.

But if your husband is still active on social media and still posting pictures of both of you (or just you), that’s a great sign he still loves you.

17. He’s a fan of public displays of affection

Most couples hold hands as they walk, kiss occasionally, hug, and have other forms of affection that they aren’t afraid of the general public witnessing.

Of course, some people are more reserved than others.

But if he’s always been a fan of public displays of affection, and continues to do that, that’s a great sign that he still loves you.

18. He’s attentive to you

Does he bring you a drink when he makes one for himself?

Maybe he offers to give you a back rub when you complain about being sore? Or maybe he opens doors for you and is otherwise attentive to your every need?

I’m not talking total simp. But I am saying if he’s making an effort to take care of you in a strong masculine way, that’s a great sign he’s totally into you.

19. He surprises you with gifts

Does he surprise you with gifts for no reason?

Or maybe you mentioned something you liked in passing once and he remembered and bought it for you later? If so, those are clear signs he’s thinking about you a lot!

20. He still plans regular date nights

A regular date night for couples is a must to avoid getting into a rut.

Unfortunately, it’s all too common for couples to let those fall by the wayside as careers and kids start to become a bigger priority. So don’t beat yourself up if he’s not planning these regularly. That tends to happen in many long-term relationships.

But for sure if he is still making a consistent effort to plan quality time together and to wine and dine you, that’s a great sign!

21. He’s a good listener

Good listening is an important sign of a good relationship.

Many of us, unfortunately, just wait our turn to talk instead of really hearing our spouse. While they jabber on, we’re just thinking about our response instead of really being present to them and what they are saying.

So if he clearly remembers discussions, and sometimes repeats back things you said, that’s a clear sign he loves you.

22. He takes ownership when he makes a mistake

All of us make mistakes. And when he does, does he try and blame you (or others)? Does he try and justify it? “I’m sorry, but it wouldn’t have happened if . . .”

Or does he take, as Jocko Willink says “extreme ownership”?

Does he take 100% responsibility for his makes, make amends for them, and learn from them so he doesn’t repeat them? If so, you’ve got a keeper!

23. He confides in you

Love works in different ways. And not every husband will communicate in the same ways. But most relationship experts agree that a man who shares his innermost secrets and confides in you regularly is a loving husband.

24. He is accepting of exactly how you are

How many times have we seen couples where one or both married their spouse knowing they behaved one way, but then they desperately tried to change them after they said “I do”?

When you’re in it for the long haul, it’s a very good sign when your husband doesn’t have any expectations of you and simply loves you for exactly who you are.

That doesn’t mean they can’t motivate and inspire you. But if you never changed whatsoever, a good husband’s love should not change.

25. He says “I love you” regularly

Saying “I love you” is one of the most obvious signs of a loving spouse.

It’s not the most important thing. But it is a little sign that they are thinking about you, and care enough about you to not make you wonder how they feel about you.

26. He makes you feel safe

At the risk of gender stereotyping, women like to feel safe, heard, and understood.

And when they don’t that’s when a lack of intimacy can develop and other warning signs of an unhappy marriage start to crop up.

And if the man isn’t in tune with his wife, then he’ll often become grumpy or argumentative with his wife which causes her negative behavior to escalate.

So if your man goes out of his way to make you feel both physically and emotionally safe, he clearly loves you.

27. He has your back

When you have a falling out with a friend is he there to listen to you vent?

Didn’t get that promotion at work and he takes you out to your favorite restaurant? If he has your back through thick and thin, that’s a clear sign he loves you.

28. He remembers birthdays and anniversaries

Now some guys are notorious for forgetting special dates and occasions. And I’m not saying every guy that has ever forgotten their wife’s birthday didn’t love her.

But I am saying that if he always remembers and never fails to surprise you on those days, that is the best way to know he still loves you.

29. He gets you flowers occasionally for no reason

Flowers are one of those things that some husbands only do on birthdays, anniversaries, and Valentine’s Dady; obligatory.

But if he’s randomly getting them for you on occasion, the good news is that means he’s thinking about you. And he wouldn’t be thinking of you if he didn’t care.

30. He helps around the house

Gender roles have changed a lot in the last 60 years. But even so, there are still a lot of guys who tend to expect their wife to do the lion’s share of the work around the house; even if she works just as many hours at a traditional job as he does.

Not fair, I know.

So if your husband is all too eager to lend a helping hand around the house, be it laundry, cooking, school lunches, etc, especially on a regular basis, that’s a really good sign that he loves you and values you and your time.

31. He’s thoughtful 

Does he make dinner with your favorite foods? Does he plan date nights at your favorite restaurant? When he goes out of his way to please you and remembers things you like and shows that he’s thinking about them (and you) that’s a great sign!

32. He’s proud of you

There’s nothing quite like knowing that our spouse is proud of us.

As your love story unfolds, does he continually praise you? Does he admire your accomplishments at work or compliment you on hobbies you engage in?

If so, let it go to your head! He loves you!

33. He brags about you to his friends and family

Along those same lines, does he brag about you to his family and friends? Is he frequently complimenting you to others or showing them pictures of things you’ve done?

I’m not talking just your physical appearance but your accomplishments too. If so, have no doubt he still loves you.

34. He’s quick to respond to your texts

There’s nothing worse than a romantic partner who always takes forever to respond to texts.

It makes it hard to hold a flowing conversation, but it also makes us feel low of their priority list. And if the relationship isn’t totally solid, it can also make us wonder what they are up to that is delaying their responses.

But if your man never (or rarely) let’s you down and replies to your texts quickly that’s a great sign. That’s even truer if he also goes to the trouble to explain when there is a delay in replying.

35. You never have to wonder if he misses you

There’s nothing worse in a relationship than constantly wondering where you stand with your spouse. That lack of communication often gets our wheels spinning and creating all sorts of ideas as to why that might be.

Now it’s true that words of affirmation might not be your husband’s love language.

And if so, his not telling you regularly how he feels about you doesn’t indicate a lack of love. But if he never lets you wonder and clearly expresses how much he adores you, that’s a great sign he’s not going anywhere.

36. He sees you as his equal; not his property

In decades past, it wasn’t uncommon for men to see their wives more as something they owned than a true equal partner in the relationship.

These days, unfortunately, that does still happen a little bit.

But now, instead of being driven by customs and sociateal expectations, it’s driven by needy, insecure guys who have childhood abandonment issues they’ve never resolved. And it comes out as controlling behavior.

Now you could still have a caring guy who needs therapy. But if your man clearly sees you as an equal in the household, gets your input on important decisions, values your opinions, and sometimes goes with what you want to do, that’s a great sign.

If he didn’t love you, he wouldn’t bother.

37. He makes an effort to get along with your family and friends

Sometimes husbands and boyfriends don’t get along with their wife’s or girlfriend’s friends and family; especially their mom and dad (who can sometimes have very high standards for their “little girl”).

But if (especially against pushback) he still goes out of his way to spend time with your family and friends and makes an effort to get along with them, that’s a great sign!

38. He never puts anyone else before you

True love means that no one, not friends, family, or even his mom come before you. At least not on any regular basis. And if he is regularly putting others before you, that’s a sure warning sign that his priorities are off.

39. He enjoys making you happy

Let’s be honest.

No one can make you happy but you. And even when someone else does something rude or inconsiderate, we still have a choice as to whether or not to let that bother us (I know; easier said than done).

But if your man goes out of his way to do things that he knows bring you joy, that’s a clear sign he loves you!

40. He likes to resolve arguments quickly

All couples argue and disagree.

But a smart man knows he can’t win arguments against his woman. That’s because (at the risk of gender stereotyping), men tend to argue with logic and women argue with emotions.

And even a crystal clear logical argument won’t sway a woman off her emotions because that is literally how she’s feeling in that moment.

So when arguments do come up, a guy who loves you will quickly take ownership of anything he did wrong and listen to how you feel and keep digging until his woman has really told him everything she’s feeling.

And when she’s done getting everything off her chest and truly feels heard and understood, the argument is over.

41. He gets jealous (a little bit)

A little bit of occasional jealousy is not a bad thing.

Now if he’s suspicious of every text you get and wants to know your exact whereabouts every time you go out that is a sure sign that he’s insecure, needy, and controlling.

And only couples therapy can help work through that.

But if he gets playfully jealous when he notices someone checking you out, or when you tell him you got hit on at the grocery store, that’s a great sign he’s still into you.

After all, if the love was gone; he would be indifferent.

42. He never brings up divorce or separation during an argument

There’s nothing worse than a spouse bringing up breaking up every time your argue.

It’s like a veiled threat and really a kind of emotional abuse. All couples argue from time to time, and you and your spouse’s first thought during an argument shouldn’t be breaking up.

If he does, especially more than once, that’s not a great sign.

43. He supports your long-term goals

Do you have a long-term career goal? Maybe it’s to go back to work after being at home with the kids for a few years. Maybe it’s to finish a degree or go beyond a bachelor’s degree? Or maybe it’s to start your own business.

Whatever goals you have for yourself, does he actively support them, champion them, and motivate you to complete them? If so, he’s a keeper!

44. He takes on tasks to make your life easier

Life can get hectic. That’s especially true as we start to advance careers, buy houses, and start a family. And some lesser husbands take an “every man for himself” approach.

So if your guy goes out of his way to do stuff to make your life easier, he clearly loves you. It could be any of the following:

  • He cleans the kitchen after you cooked
  • He let you sleep in and he made the kid’s lunches
  • He picked up dinner on the way home from work so you could relax or go to happy hour with friends
  • He put the laundry away that you washed and dried

45. He looks forward to spending time with you (and tells you)

I love the anticipation of spending time with my girlfriend.

She has 3 kids that she raises 99% by herself, and I have 3 kids two of which I have full-custody of. So we have busy lives and can’t get together more than once or twice a week.

So I relish when we do have time together! And I make sure she knows how excited I am for date night.

Frequently Asked Questions

How do I know if my husband really loves me?

In some ways, this is an incredibly complex problem, and in others, it’s the simplest thing in the world. Love is a multi-faceted concept that means any number of things depending on who you ask.

For simplicity’s sake, let’s define love in two measures:

  • Love as an action
  • Love as a feeling

Love is a feeling. It’s the explosion of chemicals in your brain that is akin to being high. It’s temporary insanity in the best definition of that word. It’s acceptance and euphoria in finding a connection. It’s dreams of your shared future together until the end of days. So in this way, knowing your husband loves you is intuitive and instinctual. When you feel it, you just know.

Love is an action. The throes of passion of a new love can’t last forever. And that’s probably for good reason; nothing would ever get done! But, your husband can choose to show you his love through his actions and behavior.

Love as a feeling is easy; connect with an attractive, like-minded person long enough and it just happens.

Love as an action is the mature, older sibling that knows better. It’s a bit more elusive and harder to maintain. If you’re starting to question whether your husband loves you or not, looking at his behavior and actions are a good place to start.

Most couples can rekindle their marriage with an open ear and a willingness to communicate.

In a recent article, I get into specifically how to rekindle your marriage when the passion has faded. Click that link to read that on my site.

How do you know when your husband doesn’t love you anymore?

Love as an action includes all the thoughtful and considerate things a husband should do for his wife.

Maybe he sends you sweet text messages throughout the day. Or he surprises you with a night off while he watches the kids. Maybe it’s asking about your day and listening with sincere care.

Unlike love as a feeling, all of these things require effort and thought.

It’s an indicator you matter to your husband. It shows that he thinks of you and acts accordingly. When you see these kinds of thoughtful actions fade, it could be a sign something’s wrong.

Are you seeing any of the signs he may be thinking about divorce?

If you’re already past this point, and sensing your husband might be thinking of separation, check out my recent article here about signs your husband wants a divorce. Just click that link to read it on my site.

If you’re reading this because of a feeling something’s off, it can be difficult to identify exactly what it is.

Final thoughts

It’s never easy to ask if your husband (or wife) still loves you.

It’s a frightening thought that someone we’ve grown to rely on might be fading. But getting to this point, recognizing this pattern and choosing to do something about it already puts you far ahead of a lot of partners out there.

Just remember to consider love as both a feeling and an action. Both of these constantly wax and wane with time. And some lulls in your marriage are expected and totally normal.

Ready to get to work restoring your marriage?

If after reading through the list, you still feel uncertain about your husband’s affections check out my recent article about how to restore a damaged marriage.

I get into 31 specific steps that I took when my marriage was on the brink of divorce in 2013. And today our marriage is better than ever!

Just click that link to read it on my site.

Image by Goran Horvat from Pixabay

Jeff Campbell